Camilo x Female Reader

Part 11

It was a month before your fourteenth birthday, and you were at home, laying in your bed, feeling like you could do nothing productive. It was a Saturday, so there was no babysitting to be done, Camilo and Mirabel were having 'family time' with the Madrigals, and your parents were out of town. So, you lay in your bed wishing you had something to do. With nothing to engage in, you had a lot of time to think. Your thoughts started with Camilo, as they most often did, and wandered to that night after the Fall Festival. He had said that he was sort of having an identity crisis. You wondered whether he had dealt with that before, or had dealt with it since. You knew you had helped, but you doubted one sentence was the cure to something that made him break down in the middle of the forest and cry. You decided to ask him about that the next time you saw him, which you figured would either be later that day or the next. You wondered what it was like, being able to shift your appearance in so many different ways, become someone else for a minute. You wondered how you would react to the same predicament that Camilo was in, not knowing who you were or what the real you was like. You weren't one hundred percent sure that you knew the real Camilo, or if you had only seen glimpses of him, since the two of you had only been together for a few months. As your thoughts wandered further, you wondered if Camilo had told anyone else about his difficulty. You weren't sure if you wanted someone else to know, or not. On one hand, you didn't want to him to have to go through it alone, and you had been more of a distraction to it than a cure or a fellow weight bearer. On the other hand, though, you wanted a secret that only the two of you shared, something that bounded your relationship and kept the two of you forever in love. Was that selfish? You and Camilo hadn't even used the 'L' word yet, at least not out loud. You had on a few occasions said it in your head. You could not speak for Camilo. Not for the first time, but definitely the strongest, you felt the limits of all your thoughts and emotions cramped up inside your thirteen year old body, wishing you had someone like in the storybooks who loved you unconditionally and whose shoulder you could cry on when things got hard, whose strength you could rely on to protect you, both physically and mentally. You and Camilo were a couple of teenagers playing couple, each other's first significant other. You couldn't get the kind of star-crossed love from Camilo that you read about in the novels you obsessed over. You doubted many people in the world got their love tested like that, and stayed with their partner all the way through. And yet, that was the story you longed for to be yours. Of course, from a recent read you had found out that the graphic adventure you so often read about wasn't the only way to try a true love. An arguably more extravagant battle is against one that you cannot see, perhaps a sickness like cancer, loving someone even though they would die in a few months, or go blind, or something like that. Thinking of this, you made your assumption that the same extravagance can probably be found in an emotional battle, which you half wanted to fight simply because it would reveal a true love, if the books spoke truth. 

~ author's interjection ~ So, that was surprisingly deep-sounding. Um, well...   *pretends not to have had practically the same thought process the night before after finishing The Fault In Our Stars by John Green* :) Really good book in case you were wondering.

Later that day, you met Camilo at a little park. You both sat on a wooden bench, with flowers growing all around you. It was really very romantic. You leaned your head against his shoulder as he absentmindedly stroked your hair. "Cami?" You asked. "Yes?" He answered, not really listening. "Camilo, remember after the Fall Festival, in the clearing?" You had his attention now. "Uh-huh." He said. "Why?" You sighed. "Was that the first time you had felt like that?" You asked, and he shook his head. "No, but definitely the strongest." You nodded. "And... have you felt like that since?" His big brown eyes met yours. "Once, but none since we started dating." You hugged him. "Oh, Cami. Why didn't you tell me?" He lifted your face so that you were looking at him. "I didn't want to worry you. I lo-" He stopped himself. "I like you too much to bother you with me." You noticed how he stopped himself before saying 'love'. It bothered you more than you cared to admit that he didn't want to say it. You had been so close to telling him you loved him, but his hesitance sparked your own. "I always want you to bother me with you." You pressed, deciding this was the safer phrasing than the 'L' word. He deflated. "Y/N, it's not your problem." His tone had changed. He was upset. "You're my boyfriend." You said, "Your unhappiness is my problem." Camilo got up from the bench. "Just leave it alone." He demanded, but you wouldn't. "I want you to tell me things!" You didn't know why you were raising your voice. "I don't want to bother you with me!" You, too, stood from the bench and threw your arms up into the air. "Camilo, I am your girlfriend! It is my job to be bothered with you!" You were pretty sure that the only reason you were pushing this was to have deep emotional meaning in your relationship. "WELL THEN, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE MY GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE!" Camilo screamed. "FINE!" You screamed back, then ran off, tears in your eyes.

Author's Note:

Hey y'all! Did I use the first part of this chapter to vent about my boring life cooped up inside a thirteen year old's body when I wish I was in my twenties with an established writing career? Um, maybe. Please comment if you experienced anything like this feeling I am having right now, or if you think I'm crazy (why do I feel like there'll be more of the latter?). Sorry to have turned this into a total mental health related counseling session (I have been spending too much time alone with my psychologist mother). How about the part where I actually advance the plot, eh? I told you that there would be drama. This is undoubtedly my longest chapter yet, and probably ever, let's thank the story-in-itself first "paragraph" for that! I just realized that I made a really dumb mistake in my last chapter, and I can't fix it right now because I don't have WiFi. Well, if you have already read that chapter before I changed it please let me tell you that I know what parentheses are, and I know what quotation marks are, and I just got those a little confused. Wow, this has also been my longest author's note. Thanks for reading! :)