The Vent Book

Phobias

I swear if you read this I love you not as much as my gf but yk)

I know for a fact I have Scopophobia (fear if being watched) but idk about Agoraphobia

My mom said I have mild Agoraphobia symptoms, says she cares, then proceeds to not care

Ex.
We go to Walmart and I say I feel uncomfortable and she says she cares and stuff, but then proceeds to do physically nothing to help

I tell and tell her but she just continues, not physically comforting me in any way

I mean I love her but what the fuck? Can't she like actually help me like she says she can?

My dad doesn't even like listen when I tell him

Or he says he does then explains some excuse to say that "Oh no you're okay, you'll be fine I swear"

Then I'm following him like a lost, traumatized puppy as I literally watch every person around me

I watch my back all the time

I can't be in an open space (Agoraphobia is the opposite of claustrophobia)

I feel safe in tight spaces, like a maze where I can lose someone easily

While in an open area I have a disadvantage because I'm small, have tiny legs, and am slow

Then it's about speed, which I don't have

I have agility

I can maneuver through crowds, the smallest places I can fit and others

I'm great at losing people in a compact area

But a wide area with nowhere to hide?

They see you directly and then it's all about speed

It's fucking terrifying

That's why I almost ways am in the living room or my room

The two safest places I know

I have this one friend who says that "ohh I have it so much worse you tiny crybaby"

And when I get onto them about it they so "Oh what did I do wrong? I didn't mean any harm.."

Then proceed to lie their way our of punishment, act innocent, and make it seem as if they did nothing

Thank you Superstar