Every King Needs a Knight

chapter-o uno

heyo!! so i did the thing where i write bad things and you process the words with your brain. since my really old and really bad style fanfic is STILL getting a bunch of comments and votes and crap, take this! wow! a new south park series! yeah.

anyways, as far as pairings go, the main pairing will obviously be stan/kyle with some other minor pairings (kenny/oc, cartman/butters, craig/tweek, past craig/clyde, wendy/bebe)

also i want to take this to say i absolutely do Not like self-insert fics (especially when it's main character-x-oc but for the fact that it's based on the stick of truth, which is a whole damn self-insert game, i'm putting in an oc based loosely on myself.) so, yeah! enjoy the thing.

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 Cartman groaned as his character died yet again. He threw his controller to the side, thrashing around and groaning again, trying to get the others attention. Kyle ignored him, but Kenny sighed and paused the game, making Kyle whip his head to the side to glare at him.

“Hey, I was playing that!” Kenny stared at him and looked at Cartman before looking back to Kyle again. Kyle looked over at the whining Cartman before letting out a loud groan and throwing his controller at Cartman, missing him by a few inches.

“What are you whining about now?” Kyle sighed, crossing his arms.

“I'm boreeeeeed.” Cartman whined, stopping his thrashing to sit back up.

“Well, what else is there to do?” Kyle drawled, rolling his eyes.

“I don't knooooow!” The boy whined again, glaring at Kyle. “You guys and this fucking town are too boring.” Kyle grunted in return.

Kenny tapped his finger on his hood, before muffling something.

“What? Play pretend? What are we, fucking 5 Kenny?” Cartman spat. Stan glared over at Cartman.

“You're not coming up with anything better, dude.” Cartman ignored Stan, adjusting his posture before assuming a thinking position.

“What if we do play something? Like...” Cartman's eyes darted around his room before landing on a Dungeons and Dragons box. “...Where I'm the grand wizard and you're all a part of my kingdom?”

Kenny jumped a little with excitement. “I'll be the fairest maiden in the land, Princess Kenny!”

“Uh, what the fuck Kenny. Why would you want to be a chick?” Cartman said, looking incredulously at him.

Kenny huffed, crossing his arms. “I'm the princess.” Cartman rolled his eyes.

“Whatever Kenny.”

“So, wait, we'd all be under your rule.” Kyle said, staring blankly at Cartman.

“Uh, duh, Kahl. Duh.” Kyle stared at him for a few more seconds before shaking his head.

“Yeah, I'm having none of that shit. I'm the.. I'm the elf king!” Kyle announced.

“And I'll be a knight!” Stan said, grinning at Kyle.

“Uh, fuck you Kahl, I'm already the grand wizard who's in charge, you can't be the fucking 'elf king'.” Cartman said, glaring at Kyle.

“Fuck you Cartman! I'll be whatever I want to be!”

“Fine! Whateva! You're not allowed in my kingdom! The... The Kingdom of Kupa Keep! The KKK!”

“Good! I didn't want to be a part of your stupid racist kingdom anyways!” Kyle looked at Stan, linking his arm with the other before turning to leave Cartman's house.