The Life of an Unknown Mind

Please Claim Me

Hello Death,

It's me again, I know it's been a while since we last spoke and I wanted to ask you to if you wanted a final dance. The last dance I am willing to partake in only for the return of your love. Would you finally be able to take me to your home, to your resting place, the place where you take all lost souls. The place of peace that so many talk about throughout the day, the place I wish to be. Where I can finally be at peace with myself and with my mind. May my body rest in your hands with I slowly fade away knowing i'm safe at last. Take my mind and my pain and lay it to rest in the sweet river of peace.

Let me be who I truly am, where I can flourish and bloom into the person I want rather than What society would like from me. All these pressures and eyes staring at me backing me into the corner with no escape. Please let me go, please let me breathe, please let me live. I ask myself daily what is the point in living if I cannot truly be who I was made to be. I wish it would move on and find another tortured soul to bother rather than daily harassing me with the expectations of society. Harassing me about who I should be, What I should wear and how I should look. What's it to me if I am finally happy. Why does my lack of identity run my life While my true identity hides away in the darkness unable to be saved because it's not 'Normal' for someone like me to be the way I am.? Can you answer that question for me? I really do wonder.

Happy, what's that you ask well I wish I could answer but I can't. Why? Well because I don't think I can truly say I've been happy before. Sure there has been smiles and laughter but why would I ruin my façade, that's like telling the world that I am Superman (although he only wears glasses) but my smiles and laughter are my glasses that I only take off when I feel it will save the situation I am in. Why smile when there is no smile due, why laugh when no laugh is required. Let me ask you this, Do you smile all the time? I didn't think so but when you do it's genuinely authentic and real rather than a master disguise that manages to fool many people every day. People will honestly fall for everything and anything as long as it suits.

Why won't you take me, let me go into the darkness. The darkness where I can see the truth behind the fake smiles and the fake laughs and the rest of the facades that people put on, so I can see their truth and let them know that what they feel is not at all wrong or a mistake but actually brave and full of courage.

I see people every day and I wonder if they have ever wished for your comforting hands to take away the pain that is in their minds all the time. I also wonder how many people have escaped by the finest hair on your head, I wonder who has tried to greet death at his door and those who have never had a thought in their mind quite so sinister in their life. Those are the people that laugh at your pain, those are the people that don't see beyond the lies they have been fed from the start of their life. Not me, I did have real smiles and laughs in the early stages of my life but as I grew older and I started to see the world for what it really is pain and torture. My smile slowly faded and my laugh became quieter and less significant, it's then I really started to wonder, what is the point as we all die anyway some quicker than others but eventually death greets our door and we cannot escape because he was there to claim you.

Claim you and take you to a safe haven where your defences can be withdrawn and you can open up to a world where it's YOU, your true self and your true identity can shine through after so many years of hiding because no one will understand or that's what you think. You are wrong most people you meet in life are going through something similar as you. Don't be afraid to let yourself go.

Death will you please just claim me already before a venture on my own without your help. I am afraid but I can't be because then you would see and laugh. I would like no I am begging you take me away before the pain swallows me and I make a decision that I may die to regret or worse Live to regret. JUST CLAIM ME ALREADY. If you don't I will need to leave and find someone with the same ideals as mine, someone you will not be so selfish in dispatching life when life no longer want to survive.

I hope that you consider this information and I hope you will see me soon I will be waiting but I won't be waiting forever.

Your dearest friend,

Depression.