your bed
at your grandmas house
was always cold .
lines of coke
rolled up dollar bills
littered your bedside table .
my head on your chest
while you slept so peacefully .
i caved
i checked your messeges
and shook with anxiety .
the heart emojis
the flirtatious texts
my tears racing to meet at my chin
and drip onto the screen
that made me hate myself .
the moment my sunshine
started getting cloudy .
you begged
¨ please stay ¨
¨ im sorry ¨
¨ its not like that ¨
but it was like that
and you werent sorry .
i went home
and questioned everything
and anything
about who i was .
a mess
not pretty enough
not funny enough
not enough
not enough
not enough .
i hated who i was
because i wasnt enough
for someone as nasty as you .
what did that make me ?
