Already home. (Aaron Tveit fanfiction)

27.-

Amy didn't knew how much time passed, but she didn't care. The only light in her room was the one from the streets. It could had passed months and she wouldn't notice.

Amy sat there for hours looking at nowhere, to the point she could be practically a living statue. She stayed in that position for so long that when she blinked it hurt, though part of the pain was for crying.

Amy also didn't knew how many times she heard Nancy sang the same song over and over, but that and a glass of scotch whisky she stole from her dad, were her only company.

Even when she didn't wanted to, Amy could hear the whispers coming from the door and more than once both of her parents got in to asked if she was ok, but she'll lie saying it was just a bad day. Ian never when to bother, because he knew his sister would call him or make him know if she needed him. Amy probably needed him at that moment, but she didn't knew how to let him know. Besides she didn't wanted to put Ian in the middle of that.

Her head was blank . All she whispered once in awhile were the words of the song as a mantra. The problem was that every time Amy did it , it hurted more. At moments, within whispers, she took time the blame herself for what happened and the stupid position she put herself. Then she felt a tear streaming down her cheeks, mixing in her mouth the taste of alcohol with salt.

If she closed her eyes she could still feel Aaron's hands touching and caring her body and skin, in the night she was so stupid to fell into his awful but charming spell. Amy remembered how that night she thought many times that in those ten years, taught Aaron what to do to a woman. She couldn't be more thankful about that, but now it all seemed like a fairytale or a movie, in which she was the main character, but she wish she wasn't.

Amy shouldn't let Aaron kissed her. She shouldn't have played that little "happy couple" game while his girlfriend was away. She should've known it was a replacement from his girlfriend out of town. Amy should've believed that stupid charming smile and the glitter in his perfect eyes. She knew perfectly that the last time she did it something like it happened and her heart was broken, like now. She knew she made the same mistake. It's like when people tell you to watch out of the sun and you don't pay attention but end up sunburnt. Aaron was her sunburn.

She shouldn't believed him when in the middle of the night' with his arms around her waist Aaron whispered that he he loved her. People say stupid things when they are on the after sex ecstasy. It was probably some damn hormone that didn't let him think. Though in that moment, with her head on Aaron's chest, she couldn't stop smiling and kissing him on the neck thinking that maybe what they had was real and could work. In that fucking moment she thought that after all the time the passed, that was the right moment for them. It felt to real not to believe it.

After playing the song one last time and finishing the glass of whisky, she went back to the sad reality to find another missed call in her phone. With that there were 20 calls, not counting the texts and the voicemails.

He wasn't hers. He was never going to be. And maybe he never was after all. Not even when they were together.

If she realized that before, she'd avoided nights and days of suffering. But now that she knew how things were, Amy needed to put an end to all the sadness and the suffering. At least for her own sake. Because like when they were just a pair of teenagers, he shot her down her in the heart again. And the hit in the ground made an awful sound.