𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕧𝕒𝕤 | 𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐲𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢

♡ "i'm here" ♡

[PLS READ] AUTHOR'S NOTE: i apologize for my carelessness, i changed what nawaru calls yatora (in the previous chapters as well) so that it makes more sense - you'll know why soon :D

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the next day

Tokyo Art Institute

"oi, have you heard anything from nawaru-san?" as shortly as kuwana stepped into the classroom, she went to approach yatora and asks the inquiry. scanning around the room, it's noticed that nawaru is not present today. when it comes to nawaru, yatora's broken soul churned curiously, and he couldn't even disguise it any more. he hasn't got to hear anything fresh about nawaru in a great many days.

"not a single word. quick, tell me." yatora turns around with furrowed eyebrows, witnessing kuwana's face reveal an uneasy expression, which feeds to yatora's ambivalence.

"she's...she's quitting art." 

yatora's jaw literally dropped, "is this the reason why she's not present today?"

"no, i think she's just skipping today's session." 

not even a thunderstorm, hashida scoops up the bag with all the art supplies he had brought and in an inaudible voice to kuwana and yatora, he informs yotasuke that he needed to go back pretty much immediately. "aah- gomenne sekai-kun, something came up. please tell ooba sensei that i had to go." 

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nawaru's POV

"nawa-chan..! your friend is here!"  as i was pondering things, my mother's voice pierced the stillness. hearing that, i instantly grab my phone and check my messaging app in case i had glossed over the fact that someone's coming. a friend?? other than yaguchi and yuka, i have virtually no interaction with other friends. so, who is the creature standing in front of that door?

"yes, coming down!!" 

the figure of hashida, who is standing with a stern smile, is apparent due to the door leaf that had unfolded. notwithstanding my disbelief at his sudden arrival, i keep on stepping forth to greet him. "...hashida-san..."

"maru-san. tell, is it true?" the waves on his face turns sombre and concerned simultaneously. he carefully grasped my wrist and drew me out of the house, shutting the door behind me.

wait! i'm unable to think straight as to what is happening. "uh..?" is now the only response that slips the lips.

"please don't quit, maru-san. you've gotten this far." my heart leaps rapidly when i heard those words. somebody appears to be concerned about me. him.

i get so upset when he knew about this, "h-how did you find out!?" but then i gradually get a lump in my throat, and my voice breaks when i try to speak. when i try to take a deep breath, it stutters. it's as if something weighty is attached beneath the eyes. it aches so much to recall what happened. i can't paint anymore.

freely, yaguchi's images alternated in my thoughts. the heartbeat accelerates, exacerbating the agony. i realized that i kept this sensation caged up all this long, even though i couldn't manage it.

"it's okay, cry all you want. i'm here for you." hashida pulls my body into him and hugs me firmly, sensing my already unmanageable emotions. the warmth from his body soothes me to the extent where i can no longer sustain back my teary eyes. it stings! not being able to fully support yaguchi's happiness, watching the person i care about the most is happy with someone who is far incomparable to me. not only that, i, too, no longer find pleasure in artistic expression as i once did when it was literally my dream. everything is in vain. 

"i'm here." he whispers.

hashida's POV

"it hurts! i no longer find joy in art, i'm literally behind everyone! someone i love is happy with someone else and i couldn't fully support that!" the utterance of her words fill the gap between her cries, and i could feel the trembling of her fingers on my chest.

it is heartbreaking to see her in this state. all i could do is to wrap my arms around her and let the stream of her cries soak through my shirt. i could feel her fists clench on my shirt, unsure whether to be upset or give up hope altogether. i could hear her silently screaming, suffocating with every breath she draws while grasping onto her ego. "there you go, there, let it all out," i stroke my fingers through her brunette hair over and over again, hoping to soothe the wordless conflict inside her feelings.

___________

we both sit in front of the door steps, enjoying the mild wind, when the situation had cooled down. maru appears to be at ease as well.

"sorry hashida-san, your shirt..." maru swipes away her tears, leaving a trace of a snail on a leaf on her cheeks. her nose is still light in red, and her eyes are a little puffy.

"it's alright, i'm delighted you can release it all freely on my shoulder," the atmosphere grows quiet. "....although your height does not even approach my shoulder." i add, to avoid a tense situation.

"i still hate you for knowing about that though." she simply replies with a tiny chuckle, looking up at the sky with her hands lay crossed on top of her knees.

"nee, maru-san." 

"yes."

"you're not losing your abilities in painting. don't you think you fell out of love from art because you find no purpose in doing so anymore?" i make an effort to convince her to return to the institute. because, as important as art is to me, so is her position in the world of art. she belongs to art, and she is an artist in her own right.

"you don't even know anything about me, about how i felt. you shouldn't assume things."

"i like you, maru-san." i proceed to reveal my feelings to her without reluctance. i genuinely want her to realise that she can still make it in time.

"huh?" maru's reflexive action caused her to stand up straight from her seat. she has a flushed face when she gazed at me. "no..,"

"forget him. let me be your purpose for you to continue painting. i'll provide you happiness, the solace, the comfort. i'll always be responsible for your sadness too. i'm right here for you." i softly hold her forearm, attempting to reassure her despite my desperate appearance. this is the side that i'll never show yaguchi. "so please, don't quit."

"feelings are not easy to change, hashida-san." she lowers her sight. she's right, but i'm certain i can change her mind. i want her to have a fruitful future in this profession. i look forward to watching her do what she enjoys. arts, regardless of her reputation, is always free, and there is nothing way off base with it.

"nee, what do you think of me?" still holding her, i'm curious about the truth that implies.

for a little moment, maru is oddly silent, staring me down while she's still standing in front of me. the rich dark blue eyes that exude serenity, remind me of the ocean. i'm afraid i'll get lost in it.

"you're..."

"hmm?"

"you're actually normal?"

i sigh, so this is the clueless side of her, huh. "ah- okay. then, what do you think of us?"

"we're japanese?"

yep. this is the real maru nawaru. i literally cannot believe i was expecting a response with a beautifully crafted paragraph as well as gratitude after what i did to her. i guess life is not always a k-drama.

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i'm sorry there's not much interaction between (you) and yatora lately. please bear with it a little, i swear to god i'll feed you good in the upcoming chapters

hit the star ^^