Rogue Shadow

Chapter 25 - Internal War

Chapter 25 – The Internal War Wages On

10:00 Thursday, 26th October 2017

After solving chemistry problems for the better part of an hour, Natasha was decidedly bored. She had been trying to stay on track but staying focused for more than a few minutes seemed impossible. Before long, her eyes would haze over, and her mind would wander. The past two days had been incredibly confusing.

A single, pestering thought her mind refused to be torn away from. Slade Wilson. Her thoughts were repetitively drawn back to their encounter the previous night. It played like an old film on repeat in her head. What was so important about it that her mind refused to let it go? Why couldn't she just let the memory slip away like all the others? Perhaps her subconscious was trying to tell her something, and it refused to stop until she understood what it was. So, once again, Nat's mind drifted back. Every movement, every word; she thought about it all.

When he came into her room the other night, Natasha's first reaction was to escape. She had truly believed Wilson would attack her, even though she knew there was no reason for her to expect that from him, he had never done anything like that before, but time and time again, adults had proven to Nat that she couldn't trust them. She couldn't trust anyone. It was a fact ingrained into her very soul. A simple, single thing: trust no one. A little more than a year ago, Nat hadn't been able to turn her back without fear of being hit. Zane had been unpredictable, and that made him dangerous. Nat never knew what would happen next, so she'd learned to expect the worst. That way she was never disappointed.

In almost every home she'd stayed in, staying up late had not been allowed. They all said she was far too young and needed to sleep. They didn't care when she told them that she couldn't sleep. They never cared about the nightmares that plagued her mind if she ever dared to drift off. Other than when she'd stayed at that farm; Cameron had let her stay up. He never minded what she did. Wilson reminded Nat of him. Both kind in their own ways.

Wilson hadn't given Nat a specific time that she had to be in bed by, she only knew that past eight o'clock she could do whatever she wanted. And he hadn't been cross at her for still being awake. The only thing he did tell her was that she was okay. That she was safe. And like the idiot she was, she had backed herself into a wall and then he had closed in on her and Nat knew there was no escape. He was too strong, too powerful. She couldn't escape him. He was dangerous. He could kill her if he wanted to. And for a moment, Nat thought he might have.

But then he knelt in front of her and commanded her to looked at him. What would he do to her if she disobeyed him? Nat had promised to do whatever he said. She had to obey him. That was their deal. When Wilson grabbed her arms, Nat knew that he had asked her a question, and she remembered responding, but try as she might, she could not remember what he had asked of her. Her mind was too focused on the hands keeping her trapped.

He said that she wasn't in danger, but it was a lie. Then he yelled at her; his grip had tightened painfully around her arms when he shook her. He was dangerous. She was in danger. Adults always lied. She should have known he wouldn't be any different. He was just like the rest of them. Or at least she had thought so at the time. But there was one undeniable, unbending truth that came back to her: she felt safe around him.

Nat remembered the strength of his grip lessening, yet his hands remained firmly resting her shoulders. She had watched on with wide eyes, afraid and confused, as – instead of hurting her, Wilson's head dropped between his arms. Ten seconds later he lifted his head and looked at her, the anger was completely absent from his eye. She knew; she counted. The next time he had spoken, Wilson had been completely calm, it was almost worse than when he yelled. How was he so calm?