An Unequalled Affection

Part 12

Elizabeth could scarcely keep from smiling as she and Darcy bundled themselves into the Netherfield carriage and made for Meryton. She felt a tiny tremor of regret as the road took them past Longbourn - close enough to glimpse her home, if not to stop there. She wondered if it was folly to spend the morning traipsing around town on Mr Darcy's arm when she ought, instead, to go home and try to make amends with her sister. It is not just folly, she told herself. It is cowardice. Yet one glance at Mr Darcy shoved these thoughts aside. For once I shall put concern for my own heart ahead of meddling on behalf of other people's. She smiled, and Darcy caught her eye, his brow sinking in a frown.

"Why is it that whenever I catch you looking at me like that I feel certain you see something I wish to conceal?"

"Ha!" Lizzy laughed, sitting forward in her seat so that she could see him all the better. "As if I have ever been able to see past your frosty exterior. Even now I feel certain you are here against your better judgment."

"The visit to Meryton was my suggestion," he reminded her. "If either of us is here against our better judgment I think it likely to be you." He sighed, his head sinking into his hand. "You may not be about to place yourself directly in the line of a rifle but I fear you will be forced to play peacemaker all the same."

"How fortunate that I excel at such a task, in that case." Elizabeth's smile faltered and she turned her head away, hoping he would not notice.

"What is it?"

Lizzy shook her head, eventually yielding to the piercing eyes fixed on her and confessing.

"I am not altogether sure I do excel at making peace. How can I claim such a thing and still be at odds with my sister?"

"You are not at odds with my cousin," Darcy pointed out, his voice strangely light. "What was it he whispered to you when he left the clearing this morning?" His frown darkened. "Or do I not wish to know?"

Lizzy shrugged her thin shoulders.

"It is nothing that should surprise you. He pleaded with me to state his case to Jane, to apologise on his behalf." She let out a short, sharp bark of laughter. "As if my doing so might help him. I fear if I showed partiality for either him or Mr Bingley it would seal his fate forever, with the mood Jane is in." Her conscience pricked her and she repented of her words. "Not that I blame her. The whole situation has become such an unbridled mess!"

"Aye." Darcy stretched out his legs across the centre of the carriage and both of them lapsed into moribund, moody silence for a few moments, until the carriage hit a dip in the road, jolting them both literally out of their seats and figuratively out of their misery.

"Well, let us focus on what we can control," Elizabeth declared, all practicality. "Our first and most important order of business is to speak to Colonel Fitzwilliam. Whatever the future may hold for him and Jane is - for the moment - irrelevant. We must induce him to make friends with you once more."

Darcy winced, and Elizabeth laid a comforting hand on his arm.

"It should not be hard to do, for you were such good friends before..."

"He is my cousin," Darcy blurted out "My allegiance should have been to him first and only. Oh, why did I let George Wickham -"

Lizzy frowned. This was the first in a long time that she had heard George Wickham's name on Darcy's lips. Her curiosity burned and she swallowed, taking a deep breath and praying her voice sounded neutral to Darcy's ears, if not to her own. She recalled only too well previous disagreements she and Darcy had had concerning George Wickham. I was so enamoured with him, so easily swayed by his handsome face and charming manners. When had her opinion changed? I cannot say, but his friendship with Colonel Fitzwilliam never quite rang true. She sighed. Even if he did play the man's second this morning. I am not so sure I would have trusted my fate to such a man.

"You are both long acquainted with Mr Wickham, I believe."

Darcy looked at her, one eye quirked in grim amusement.

"You refer to Mr Wickham as if he were a stranger, yet I know the two of you are at least a little acquainted." His eyes shone with something that might have been amusement. "I recall more than one occasion when you attempted to advise me that I misunderstood the man I have known my whole life and must bow to your superior insight of mere weeks."

Lizzy could feel heat pooling in her cheeks and abandoned every attempt at neutrality.

"Then tell me, truly, in what way was I wrong about him?"

A muscle twitched at Darcy's jawline and she ventured that it pained him to speak as freely as she had demanded he do. She reached for his hand, entwining their fingers together and squeezing, their silent encouragement that had become more eloquent than any words could be. This was all it took, it seemed, for Darcy began to speak almost before he seemed aware of it.

"We have known each other all our lives, George and I..."

He spoke haltingly and did not look at Lizzy when he spoke. Were their fingers not still entwined, she would wonder whether he realised she was there at all. She stayed silent, letting him tell the stories he chose in the way he chose and soon every detail of his bitter entanglement with George Wickham came to light.

"And so you see why he is not to be trusted - not ever to be trusted. He trifled with Georgiana's heart, all in his pursuit of money, and to antagonise me. I don't doubt he uses Richard in the same way now, although I do not see why he allows himself to be so used." His features fell into a scowl. "Richard despises him as much as I do. It was his assistance I sought when news reached me about Georgiana. How can he have forgiven such a sin, and call the man a friend?"

"Perhaps because he had no other?" Lizzy was wondering aloud, her voice so low she did not truly intend on it reaching Darcy's ears but it must have done, despite the rumbling of the carriage wheels underneath them, and he turned to her, surprise overtaking anger.

"He felt you had abandoned him," Lizzy ventured. "To see you side with Bingley - or at least, appear to do so - must have been a bitter blow. You said yourself that Colonel Fitzwilliam is a lonely sort of fellow, shipped from pillar to post. He probably put stock in the few connections he holds dear. You." She elbowed him lightly in the side. "And to watch you desert him..."

"I - no." Darcy frowned again, shaking his head as if to dislodge the thoughts her words had sparked within him. "No, it was on account of his friendship with Wickham that I -" He paused. "I saw them act as if there had never been a disagreement between them."

"Then perhaps you were not looking." Elizabeth straightened, her smile growing a little stern. "When Colonel Fitzwilliam came to dine at Longbourn with his friend, Mr Wickham, in tow, even I could see that friendship was too generous a term to be applied to their relationship. If he sought to keep Wickham's past concealed - not because the man deserves such mercy, but on account of others who might be harmed by its telling - it would serve him ill to ostracize him altogether. What is it that people say? One must keep one's friends close, and one's enemies..."

"Closer." Darcy ground out the words but he was not angry, Lizzy saw. She ventured to believe she understood him better now, and the fierce scowl, the bitter voice did not radiate outwards towards other people, towards her, as she might once have believed. This was frustration with matters beyond his control. Past events he could not change and present concerns weighing too heavily on his broad shoulders.

Their carriage slowed to a stop, but neither of them moved immediately. Lizzy tugged Darcy upright and dared to plant the swiftest of kisses on his cheek.

"We can resolve this," she promised him. "All will be well, I assure you. Let's go now to the barracks and see what can't be improved with a quarter-hour of your cousin's time."

She spoke with greater confidence than she felt, for her powers of peace-making were certainly not to be remarked upon. Mary would be so much better here! she thought, with a shaky breath. Well, I shall just have to act as she would act. I shall put Lizzy aside for the briefest of hours and allow Mary to dictate the pace. Walking with Darcy across the courtyard outside the barracks she bit her lip, imagining how uneasy poor Mary would be to face so many gentlemen at once and allowed herself to smile. Perhaps, on balance, I shall keep a little of myself still and together we shall succeed.