𝔗𝔥𝔢 ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔪𝔞𝔫'𝔰 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥

10

Ever since that incident Y/N tried to stick to staying at home as much as possible. She really didn't want a repeat of whatever it was that had happened back then in the forest and she was afraid that people were going to talk whenever she would go into town. But of course she couldn't always stay in the house. She knew that she would have to leave this place sometimes to go and get some things in town. She couldn't let Shouta do all the shopping on his own all the time.

He kept insisting that it was fine and if she didn't feel up for it, she shouldn't come with him, but Y/N would have felt bad. And there was also a weirdly morbid curiosity to see what people were saying about her. She wanted to know. She wanted to hear it all until she felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to get upset over it, she wanted to see just how stupid it all was. She knew that it was going to make her feel miserable, but she was also fascinated with what people might be saying.

Shouta didn't think it was a good idea for her to be exposed to all of that, but he said that he also wasn't going to stop her. So here she was, on her way into town, clinging to Shouta's arm, because she felt like she was going to lose her mind worrying. Every time they passed someone on the streets, Y/N looked down, because she couldn't stand the thought of people looking at her with disgust. When they were about halfway into town, Y/N wondered whether this had maybe been a bad idea all along, but she didn't want to say anything to Shouta, because he would make her turn around and go back home. He'd even bring her back home and she didn't want that.

Truth be told, she couldn't stand being at home all the time anymore. She was barely doing anything, the house was cleaner than it had ever been before and she didn't know what else to do with her time. She had read all the books they owned and new books were expensive. She had been working with herbs so much that she would probably have medicine for years and years to come. She fixed every piece of clothing that her and Shouta owned, she had done whatever she could think of and she was getting bored of it. She needed to go outside, no matter how scary it was.

So she just tried to pull through, one foot in front of the other, looking down whenever she saw anyone. Shouta was greeting people, but very few greeted him back - which wasn't too unusual, but it was odd. Y/N still couldn't stand looking up at them. She was scared of what she might see in their eyes, she was terrified that they would know what happened in the forest and that they would blame her for it, that they would blame her for everything that was wrong in life.

The worst was when they passed the church. Y/N hadn't been to mass in weeks. She was scared of what people might say and whether someone would try to follow her home, try to attack her. She was scared that she would be told she wasn't allowed to come into the church, because people said she was a witch. She was absolutely terrified of it all, but she missed going to church. Maybe she should try and get to mass on a Sunday soon. Maybe it would make her feel a little better. Maybe she should go to confession, too, just so she'd have someone to talk to.

But that was all in the future. She'd have to somehow manage today first, before she was going to be able to survive an entire mass without breaking into a panic. But at least during mass people weren't supposed to be talking and that meant she wouldn't hear any insults hurled at her. Or at least she hoped so. And then, maybe, if she managed to get home quickly, it wouldn't be so bad.

"Are you doing okay?" Shouta asked her, as they were passing the church. Y/N gulped and nodded. She hadn't thought that it was so obvious she was in distress. But once she paid attention to her body she noticed that she was shaking and breathing heavily, because she was so nervous.

"Actually, I... I don't know. This is scary." Y/N finally admitted. Shouta nodded and stopped in his tracks, pulling her into an embrace. It was exactly what Y/N needed. She felt like she could hide from everyone when she was in his arms and she felt safe and protected. She couldn't believe that things had gotten so out of hand over something like a stillbirth. So many women had miscarriages or stillbirths all the time, with or without her there. Why was she suddenly a target?