Afire Love// ed sheeran

Past, Present, Future

Writing this chapter, I couldn't help but be proud of this piece of work. I get so happy with comments that say they can't wait until I update or say they love this story. I love it to and I'm hopeful that this chapter will not disappoint. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here. Don't hesitate and enjoy!

-Alyssa

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It was the same night and I was sitting next to Ed, my eyes focused on the tv. An uncomfortable silence had engulfed us as Ed just played with his hands and I looked at anything but him. I was growing extremely uncomfortable. There was so much to talk about, so much to think about if we were going to keep being friends. He had a life- Athina, his music, his child. I knew Athina did not want me in his life. I was her enemy and Ed being friends with me would definitely put a damper on their relationship. And did I honestly want to be the person that broke up a family? That couldn't possibly be me. And the only way I would work up the courage to tell this to Ed was if I was drunk. 

So I looked over at Ed, sighed, and walked to the kitchen. 

I shuffled through the cabinets and got out two glasses and a bottle of red wine that Taylor had given to me as a congratulations gift for making it into Julliard. I pressed the corkscrew into the wooden cork in the bottle, screwed it around a little, and the wine opened. I poured myself a glass of wine and gave Ed grape juice- he was drunk enough. Just walking back into that room would require more courage than I had ever had so I drowned back the first cup in one big gulp. I shook my head from side to side, trying to clear the mess in my mind. I walked back into the room, juggling the two glasses and the bottle of wine in my tiny arms. 

Ed looked over at me with those clear blue eyes as I set the glasses down in front of us. I gave him his grape juice and I poured myself another glass of wine. I could already feel a slight buzz form in the back of my head. I held onto that buzz, praying that it would provide me with the courage I so desperately needed. 

Ed took a sip from his cup. "Hey, this is grape juice!" he shouted, a laugh escaping his pink lips. 

"You've already had enough to drink," I replied, sipping the sweet red wine. I felt the cold liquid swish into my stomach. "Besides, this wine isn't for you. It is for me... hopefully to give me the courage I so desperately need right now." 

"What?" he asked, a twinkle in his eye.

I could feel Ed's eyes playing on my face but I just sipped the wine, put the glass down, and left the room again. I switched my bedroom light on, squinting as I looked around my room. The white blankets were tucked neatly onto the mattress, my array of pillows fluffed and placed neatly on the bed. My violin sat on the small oak desk in the corner of the room, right beside the window that overlooked the streets below. My sheet music was scattered on the desk, in the chair, and in folders on the floor. I walked past all the furniture and went straight into my closet. I pulled the string that hung from the ceiling and the bright fluorescent light flickered on. My t-shirts, jeans, and dresses hung from black hangers. But I pushed past the racks of clothes to the back of my closet, feeling around for the box. My hand bumped against a small wooden shoe box and my palm wrapped around it, pulling it out from the closet. This was the box. I rubbed my hand against the rough cardboard, hugging it to my chest as I backed out of the closet, shut the light off, and returned to the living room. 

I looked around. Ed was sitting on the couch, sipping his grape juice, looking at the tv that hung over the fire place mantel. More sheet music sat on my window seat, overlooking the bright city lights. The lights were dim and my glass of wine sat untouched next to Ed.