Afire Love// ed sheeran

Crisis

Enjoy pretty people!

-Alyssa

My mouth was agape, my mind a mess. I turned away from Ed, staring at Taylor. Her mouth was open as well, a gasp escaping her lips. My hands were shaking violently and I could feel myself ready to fall over. I shook my head from side to side, trying to clear my mind of all the confusion that fogged my brain. This had to be a terrible dream. I had to wake up from all of this. 

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," I breathed out, shaking my hand and basically running out of the room. I smacked into the doctor. We both fell to the floor and his clipboard clattered down next to him .

"I'm sorry ma'am," he said, picking up the clipboard and stuffing it under his arm. He reached his hand out for me to grab as he helped me to my feet. I could feel tears running down my cheeks as I tried to wipe them away. My vision was clouded as I wiped my face with the sleeve of my shirt. "Are you okay?"

How was I supposed to answer that? My boyfriend was a famous singer who was touring the world. He cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and the only reason I found out was because our mutual friend thought we broke up. Then, my boyfriend returned to New York to surprise me only to figure out that I knew what he had done. He had followed me out onto the street trying to explain but then he was hit by a car. He went into surgery and now he was awake. But there was one problem... he has absolutely no clue who I am. So no, I am very far from being okay. 

"Just fine," I replied, shaking my head and wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I'm so sorry for bumping into you. Have a good day." I walked past the doctor, stuffing my ear buds into my ears and sighing. I left the hospital. There was no reason for me to be there. Ed didn't remember me. I wasn't sure if he ever would but my mind was racing. I felt completely empty and lost. 

The streets were packed filled with people smiling and laughing. The amount of joy in the air was sickening. How could everybody seem so happy when I felt so miserable? I had to escape this place, go somewhere, do something-anything- to forget everything. I began to run down the streets, sweat dripping down my neck and air whipping my hair over my face until I couldn't run any further. My breath was quick and I was gasping for air. I kneeled over, pressing my hands on my knees as I struggled to catch my breath. 

As my lungs began to work properly, I looked up and almost began to choke again. I was standing in front of Spark's, the grill I had first talked to Ed in. I sighed, shaking my head from side to side. I walked into the grill, looking around and sitting down in the booth I had sat in that night. The atmosphere was much different. It was bright outside and people lined the streets, visiting the small boutiques that were opened around us. The bar itself was packed with couples eating and businessmen talking in nearby tables. The same waitress, Bea, came up to me. This time, she was wearing a white sweater, black leggings, and ankle boots, her short black hair braided. 

"What can I get you?" she asked politely, getting her notepad out. 

"A water and salad," I mumbled, handing her the menu. As she walked away, I pressed my earbuds in and sighed deeply. I tried to assess my situation. 

Ed didn't remember me. He did not remember the time we had spent together. I was a stranger to him. I hated the very thought of it. But maybe it was better that way. I knew that after learning of Ed and Ellie's time spent together, I would never be able to trust him like I once did. I would never be able to look at him and feel the way I used to feel. Maybe this was a gift in disguise, a get-out-of-jail-free card, a daydream dressed like a nightmare. But all I felt was bitter fury engulf me like a flame. 

"You okay?" someone asked as they slid into the seat across from me. It caught me offguard so I pulled the earbud from my ear and looked up. He had a british accent. His skin was tanned, the color of toast. His eyes were muddy brown and his hair dark brown too, almost black. He had tattoos on his arms and he was wearing a black tee, jeans, and converse. "I'm Zayn."

I knew who he was. He was Harry's friend, a member of the world famous One Direction. He was the bad boy of the group, everyone adored him. I didn't know why he was sitting at this beat up little bar but I didn't question it. I didn't have room in me to care about anybody else but myself at that point. 

"Fine..." I replied, sipping my water and looking out the window. 

"Wait... Aren't you Ed's girlfriend?" he stated, rubbing his palm along the scruff that was sprouting from his cheek. "Yeah, Harry talked about you before. How's Ed doing? Harry went to go visit him in the hospital." I choked on the water that I was sipping so I wiped my mouth with a napkin and pushed the glass away. 

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. I truthfully had no clue. I hadn't wasted anytime asking the doctors of his condition. He seemed in decent shape- except for the amnesia. I felt like my life was a bad tv show, one so predictable and horrendous. Ed was doing well and there I was, a wreck. It felt like I was the one hit by the car full force, knocked into a parallel universe called hell.

I wanted to scream at Zayn, to tell him to leave me alone. But that would be rude and I didn't need another reason to have a guilty concious. 

***

Long story short, Zayn wouldn't leave me alone. He was really nice and made it easy to forget- for a little bit- about the unforgiving events of the day. We exchanged numbers and then I went home. 

Home was even worse than the hospital. I was left to sit and think, alone with my thoughts and a house that reminded me of Ed so clearly. I could invision us laying on the couch, watching tv. I could see him sitting on a chair as he watched me play my violin, practicing the notes as I strung the strings gently, him on his guitar. That violin. It was filled with memories of Ed. I had learned Give Me Love and I See Fire on it. I went to the kitchen and picked up a glass to serve orange juice. 

The emotions became too much all of a sudden. On the kitchen, held to the fridge with a magnet, were photos of me and Ed. He was kissing my cheek and I was laughing. It was taken during a movie night with Taylor. She was in love with polaroid cameras and decided to take the picture of us. Written on the bottom was the words 'You're the king, I'm your Queen." I threw the cup against the fridge and it fell to the linoleum floors, shattering into a thousand little shards. I sighed, getting the broom to sweep up the second broken cup in a day. 

As I sweeped up the pieces, a shard of glass sliced my foot and I slid to the floor, crying. The tears weren't so much from the pain of the glass but from the pain in my heart. It was from the pent up emotions from the day. I picked up the bottle of orange juice and threw it too, trying to get rid of every emotion in my body. The juice splashed to the floor, spilling everywhere. Instead of ridding me of all the stress, it only made me angrier and I began to cry harder. 

This was it. My life was falling apart. 

I was going through a crisis. 

And I never thought it would end.