Afire Love// ed sheeran

Love Will Remember

Later that day, I was sitting in my living room reading a book when there was a knock on the door. I set my book down on the coffee table, smoothing out my t-shirt as I went to open the door. There in the hallway was Zayn. His brown hair was a mess and he was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. His eyes were red and he looked disheveled. I could smell the alcohol drifting off of him. 

"Hey there. Woah, you're hairrrr," he slurred. His balance was off and he was gripping my doorway so hard, his knuckles had turned white. We had talked earlier in the day and he had told me he was at some charity banquet. I hadn't expected to see him, standing in my doorway, drunk out of his mind. I looked around, knowing that if anybody saw one of the members of the most famous band in the world at my apartment, drunk out of his mind, rumors would spread like a wildfire. I wrapped my hand around Zayn's wrist roughly, pulling him into the apartment and shutting the door quickly. "Ouch!" he cried out, rubbing his wrists as he toppled into the apartment. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I hissed, dragging him into the living room and onto the couch. He didn't protest, just sat down on the couch and laid his head on a pillow, yawning. I ran into the kitchen, brewing a cup of coffee and getting some food for him to eat. Hopefully this would help sober him up. Once the cup of cofee was brewed and his bagel was toasted, I went back into the living room. Zayn was leaning on the coffee table, staring at the sheet music that had piled up over time. He flipped through the endless pages.

He then stumbled over to the metal music stand, observing the music that laid there as well. After peaking at the music, he looked at the empty picture frames resting on the fireplace mantel. I cleared my throat and Zayn turned my way. He trudged back to the sofa, nearly tripping over his own feet. "Why are those picture frames empty?" he said, tumbling over his own words this time. He took the steaming cup of coffee from my hand, chugging it down. He winced as it burned his throat. 

"I don't know," I lied. I knew why those picture frames were empty. They had been empty for quite a while after moving to New York. Originally, they were for decoration so the mantel wouldn't look empty. Once Ed had come into my life, they were filled with pictures of us, of him, of our friends. They were there to remind me of the happiness he brought me. But he no longer brought me happiness and those pictures were buried in a shoe box in the back of my closet. Maybe one day I could open that box and smile at the memories but at this point in time, they only brought me bitterness. 

Zayn rested his head on the pillow, covering his mouth with his fist as he yawned. "Ya know, you gotta lot o' music. You should play for me sometime," he yawned out, stretching his arms over his head. His eyes were the color of blood. I could see the faint outlines of the tattoos that etched his skin under his shirt. "Are you sad... about ya know.... Ed?" His voice was a little less slurred, more serious. He ran his long fingers through the black tendrils of hair. 

I turned away from him, walking to the window and opening the window. Suddenly, it was too stuffy in the room and I wanted to be anywhere but there. I wanted to be on the streets, running from borough to borough until the sweat washed away every memory, every bad thought. I sighed, leaning my head on the window. There was no walking around the question. I had to face the truth myself. "Of course I miss him," I admitted, biting my lip and shaking my head. "But he can't be my priority. I'm done putting other people in front of me. I need to be happy before I try and make anyone else happy. He doesn't remember me and maybe it is better that way. Maybe this was all meant to be... God, that sounded selfish." I turned to Zayn to try and take back what I said. But his eyes were closed, his lips parted as he breathed out a snore. 

I drapped a blanket over his chest and slipped a pillow under his head. Maybe sleep would sober him up. I went into my room, pulling on a jacket and sneakers. The house was too stuffy and I needed to be anywhere else. I grabbed my phone, checked on Zayn who was fast asleep, and left my apartment. Taking the stairs two at a time, I pressed play on the music. The song was Selena Gomez's song Love Will Remember. I hummed along to the song as I raced down the steps and out the building. 

Now's all we got and time can't be bought.
I know it inside my heart forever will forever be ours.
Even if we try to forget, love will remember.

You said you love me, I said I loved you back
What happened to that, what happened to that
All your promises, and all them plans we had,
What happened to that, what happened to that
Boom gone, yeah we move on, even if we try to forget

The lyrics made my legs move faster as I began running down the twists and turns of Brooklyn. The wind whipped against my face, freezing me to the bone, but I kept pushing. Street shops and bodegas past me by in a blur but the music blasted in my ears, distracting me from everything around me. The sweat trickled down my temples, my lungs struggling for air. When it became too much and my lungs were begging for relief, I sat down in a rusty park bench. I pressed my forehead to my knees, focusing on my breathing as I tried to ignore my screaming lungs.

When I caught my breath again, I looked around. I was in an older part of Brooklyn, trees hanging over the street and brown stone apartments lined the avenue. The air was crisp and behind me was a small bakery, the smell of butter and coffee wafting out into the breeze. I went into the bakery and bought two coffees and a donut.

I hadn't realized how far I had run until I walked back home. The streets changed from the rustic apartment buildings to dirty and crowded with swarms of people. I swung the bag back and forth.

Just as I went to cross the street, I bumped into someone. We both went flying to the floor. The coffee clattered to the ground, spilling over the asphalt. The donut slipped out of the bag and went straight into traffic. The person I had bumped to cried out as he landed on the ground.

"I'm so sorry," I exclaimed, getting up from the ground. I dusted myself off then outstreched my hand to the stranger.

But he wasn't a stranger. He was someone I knew very well. He was someone I had loved.

"Its, uh, fine," Ed said, trailing off. I picked up his cane and helped him to his feet, my hands shaking. "Its Alysha, right?"

"Alyssa," I corrected him timidly, biting my lip. "I have to go... bye." I turned around quickly, pushing my hair out of my eyes and turning the music up higher. My eyes were on the ground as I jogged the rest of the way home.

Part of me was proud that I was not crying. I was proud that I was able to walk past him and hold my ground, forcing a smile onto my lips. But I was also disappointed. I was disappointed that he couldn't remember my name and I was disappointed that it bothered me so much.

***

Zayn was sitting on the couch, stretching his arms over his head. When I walked in, he stood up from his spot and walked over to me. I could tell that he had sobered up.

"Hey," he said, turning to me.

I sniffled and wiped my cheek. "I brought you a coffee and a donut but something happened... sorry," I shrugged, sitting on the sofa and sighing loudly. Zayn sensed the aggrivation I was feeling and he sat down next to me slowly. 

"You okay?" he asked, rubbing my arm with his hand. It was smooth and warm, the color of a cappucino. 

"Can we just... not talk?" I asked, leaning my head on the back of the sofa, taking deep breathes. Zayn just nodded, hugging me to his shoulder. He smelled like a mixture of cologne and alcohol. It was oddly refreshing. I shook my head, sighing and closing my eyes. 

I used to think that I was irreplaceable. 

That lyric came repeating itself over and over in my mind, haunting me. Selena Gomez was wrong in that line. You can be replaced in a blink of an eye, quicker than you could ever imagine. Soon all you become is a distant memory. Even worse, sometimes the one you loved no longer remembers you... and doesn't care to try. 

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Tell me if you guys enjoyed this! 

-Alyssa