The Contrary Mate

12 Jack

It was a simple request for information about her options, and it sent my wolf into full-on alarm. He wanted to drag her off and mark her this minute. I gripped the table and forced myself to breath in and out slowly, grateful again that my home was filled with furniture that was intended to survive a bit of a beating from a werewolf. Once I was sure that I had full control of myself, I spoke to her. "I don't want to pressure you, Aura."

"Is it bad?"

"I'll survive it, but it'll be hard, if I'm being completely honest." I loosened my grip from the table before I broke it.

"I'm that important to you?"

I raked my hand through my hair and tried to think of how to explain it to a non-werewolf. "My wolf is a part of me, but that part runs largely on instinct. He wants to survive, so he desires to provide, either by hunting or working for the pack. He wants to protect himself, his family, his pack. And he wants to reproduce, so now that he's found you, you're the center of his fixation. He'd do anything to have you."

She swallowed, nervously, and I hoped I hadn't scared her.

I hurried to continue. "But I'm also human, at least as rational as they are. My wolf is dragging me to you, but I have control over how I respond to that. I've lived in an urban pack my whole life, so I'm used to managing and keeping those wild instincts under wraps. I've spent so much of my life surrounded by humans."

She nodded, even that movement graceful and waited for me to say more.

"And the way I see you, my human side, not my instincts, is as a desirable woman who I would want to be with even without the influence of my wolf. I don't know you well, yet, of course, but I can already see that you're thoughtful and kind, and I'm intrigued to learn more. My wolf only makes the feeling more potent." Far more potent. I couldn't have imagined these waves of emotion before I had experienced them myself, this desperate desire to have her in any way that she would let me.

"I see. Well, I can't promise you anything. I understand this is big for you, but I can only go along with this if it seems like it's good for me, as well, if that makes sense."

"It does." My stomach was full of knots. She had to choose me. I'd have to convince her, and I had to believe I could do that. Now that I found her I didn't want to have to go looking for someone else. I didn't want anyone else. I would never want anyone else.

"So, what do you think causes you wolves to be paired with people?" she asked me.

"I don't know, of course. Lots of people think it's the moon goddess or fate. Other people think it's purely for biological survival, the wolves pick the mates who're the best genetic match."

She looked curious. "Which do you think it is?"

"Well, I have trouble imagining there's some higher power that directly interferes in the love lives of individual werewolves. And why just werewolves? Why not the fae, humans, vampires? I think the survival theory makes more sense. But then why do they often—but not always—seem compatible? I have a different theory."

"Oh?" She seemed interested, and my wolf was loving her attention.

"I think we live in a simulation. Fate is just a complex algorithm making optimum pairings for every wolf, based on complimentary personalities, location, genetic compatibility, and other factors. Also explains why it doesn't always work out, either. Glitches are a feature of any code."

She smiled. "Maybe don't say any of that to my family...or any fae when you meet them. They'd probably burn you for your heresy."

I couldn't even really care about the warning when it sounded like she was considering bringing me around to see her family. That was a really good sign. "I'll remember that."