The Contrary Mate

15 Aura

"If I had to guess, I'd say she found her mate, and it's Delta Carter. See that guy over there, with the red hair and confused expression? He doesn't usually make that face, but he hasn't spotted her yet and I'm sure his wolf's acting up. He's working out if it's really true and where she is. My wolf was agitated before I found you."

Jack was watching the situation unfold with a half smile, but there seemed melancholy behind his eyes. I tore my gaze away from that too handsome expression and back to the two wolves. Lys was nice enough and I'd sensed that she was lonely so I hoped that he was right about her having found her match.

She took another tentative step forward and then another. Delta Carter's face took on an expression of joyous recognition, as if they had already loved each other for years. The sight made my heart ache. Was that what Jack had felt when he found me? Maybe that explained how weird he had acted. Something like that couldn't be real, and yet...

Lys and Delta Carter both practically broke into a run until they reached each other and then just as suddenly they were kissing and some in the surrounding crowd whistled and cat-called. "Is it always this fast?" I asked Jack, surprisingly bothered by the idea that I might have been a disappointment to him for being a fae. A sick feeling curled in my stomach. I hadn't asked for this.

"Sometimes. But it's no rush." He winked at me, his expression somehow similar to the delta while being quite different. "Sometimes the algorithm takes more time to calculate than others."

I cringed at his scandalous theory of the universe. I really hoped he would keep that to himself, but even as I thought that I couldn't quite ignore the warmth his words brought with them, the assurance that he wasn't upset that I wasn't what he had expected.

"Well, we're going to call it a night," Vander said, turning from the new couple and adjusting his sleeping baby on his shoulder. Her tiny mouth was hanging open in the centre of her chubby little cheeks. "And put this little one to bed."

Jack bid them goodnight, and turned his attention back to me.

I knew I really should do the same, leave before things got too out of hand. Get home and get to bed, so that I would be fresh and rested to go through my usual daily routine.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked as he held out his hand to me.

How could I not take it? I put my hand in his, and I swore it felt like my skin came alive at the contact, like I had never properly felt anything before. His hand was larger than mine, and his skin warm and slightly calloused, and it felt exactly like I should never let him go. How could something so new feel so right and familiar?

I followed him to the area where there was already a crowd of people dancing, and I realized I had no idea what I was doing there. I knew how to dance—like a fae—but what these people were doing was quite different than the flowing steps that we usually danced at fae celebrations. The music was thumping guttural rhythm, clearly a recording via some sort of horrid human technology, nothing like the light instruments of the fae. It hadn't bothered me when it had been in the background, but how was I supposed to convert this into movements?

Looking around helplessly, I surmised that the werewolves were indeed following the beat of the music, and the dancing was far more harsh than what I was used to, but it had a sort of savage beauty to it that I found attractive. Or maybe it was just Jack, since he was moving, and I moved with him instinctively. This wasn't so hard, and there was something in the way his attention was fixed on me felt like I was his prey, but in a very good way. I suddenly thought I would enjoy being devoured by him and I felt heat in my cheeks. Hopefully he would just assume I was flushed from exertion.

We continued moving with rhythmic abandon, and then the tempo slowed to something more sedate. He'd touched nothing more than my hands the entire time we danced, but now he took my hands and pulled me closer before releasing them and putting his on my waist. Placing my hands on his shoulders felt like nothing but the most natural thing in the world.

His broad shoulders were solid and strong under my touch, like I had known they would be. I swallowed, suddenly nervous, but more than anything excited and intrigued, and a whole whirlwind of other emotions that seemed intended to pull me under without even the slightest hesitation.

All my reasons for why I didn't want to pursue this were still completely valid, even if it was hard to remember that when I was with him. We were complete contradictions, and how could that ever work in the long run? The fact that I was being drawn in like this was not a good thing. I was enjoying this too much. The magic of the mate bond was affecting me too, even if it wasn't as strongly as it was affecting him.

This wasn't what I planned. I pulled away from him a bit.

He instantly responded to my movement by releasing me, making me feel disappointed and guilty. "I need a break." My excuse was feeble, but he didn't call me on it, but only followed me as I led him off of the dance floor, and towards the bar. I requested a glass of water.

"Do you want to get some air?" he asked. His concern stabbed me with more guilt.

"Yes, please," I agreed.

He took me out the wide external doors at the back of the hall and with relief I breathed in the air of the night. While I had been inside, the sun had completely set, meaning I was going to have a long cool flight home through the darkness. I could conjure light so seeing wouldn't be an issue, but I should have brought a jacket. Of course, I hadn't intended on staying so long.

Yet here I still was. The vast greenery around me was far too manicured and managed, but at least there was grass and some geometrically pruned hedges, as miserable as they were. "Can we walk around?"

"Of course. You're free to do anything you want here," he said.

I glanced back at him. He seemed so sincere. Would he really allow me anything I wanted? Somehow I believed that was true. That level of devotion was charming, and again I had the sharpest desire to just throw all my reservations away and just sink into him and his world. To throw away my own, and live in his dead mausoleum, miserable whenever I wasn't fixated on him.

But, it wasn't so bad out here. This garden could be something more, if he wanted it to be. I kicked off my shoes so that my feet touched the lawn. It was soft and soothing as it brushed my toes, and it felt like my head began to clear a bit. I trailed my fingers along the poor pruned hedges. Sometimes pruning was necessary for the health of the plant, but this was just cruel hacking to maintain some frivolous shape.

Would refusing Jack be pruning for the health of the plant, or be frivolously destroying the wild shape of our lives? I didn't know, and it was impossible to think while he was so near me, even walking in complete silence as we were. Even without touching him, I could feel his heat radiating off of him. Were all werewolves so warm, or was it just Jack?

Some combination of his proximity and the few of drinks I'd consumed worked together to make figuring the situation out impossible. "I should really go home," I blurted out.

"If that's what you want." His voice was casual but he couldn't hide the disappointment in his eyes.

That was the question. Was that what I wanted?