any of u play obey me swd? add me, my name's Eru♂️ obey me! id: 1590408227
this time i swear i'm getting that leviathan bday ur card bc i didn't get beel and belphie's (sad)
anyway be careful of the long ass notes below bc idk why i said all that. i'm embarrassing. hahah nvm i deleted it
————————
“Hello and welcome to Objects n' Jake, or Objakes!”
Jake smiled to the camera as he finished his introduction. The camera panned to the kitchen counter where the ramen ingredients were placed. (They only consisted of ramen noodles, a seasoning packet, and garnishes.)
“Today, we'll be cooking ramen. Very easy and basic, I know.” Jake winked at the camera, “But, I haven't eaten so I might as well earn money from it.”
He walked over to the stove, a pot of water was already placed on top of it. Jake turned on the stove and spoke while he waited for the water to boil.
“I'm just gonna wait for the water to boil before putting the noodles.” And when he waited, Jake stood near the pot, waiting for it to boil, and smiled silently at the camera the whole time.
It went on for a minute or two.
“Umm, the water is boiling.” Presumably, it was the cameraman, Timothy, who spoke.
“Now that the water is boiling, we add in the noodles.” Jake opened the pack of noodles, put the seasoning packets aside, and dropped the noodles in the briskly boiling water. “Then, we wait for it to cook.”
Jake smiled as he stared at the camera again.
Timothy asked, “Is it really this awkward when filming?” He was starting to feel uncomfortable with the energy of the studio—which was Jake's kitchen.
Jake, “No.”
Timothy, “Oh, haha.”
...
“Now, after all that tiring work, we finally add the seasoning.”
Timothy watched Jake add the seasoning packet to the soggy noodles. It was boiling for too long. Timothy felt like crying. It wasn't even the type of ramen you eat with its soup or broth or whatever that is.
“Ah! Before I forget, I'm gonna add my own secret ingredient.” Jake grinned and opened the fridge to go fetch the tupperware of what Timothy assumed to be marinated meat.
Marinated raw meat?? Timothy didn't know that Jake was into that.
Jake opened the container and used his chopsticks to pick out a big piece of meat. He added the meat as garnish to his plate of ramen. Jake added a bit more leaves, in which he stated that it adds flavor. Timothy just nodded.
“Tada!” Jake presented his plate of ramen in front of the camera. “Here's the finished product!”
That's just a plate of marinated meat... Thought Timothy as he zoomed the camera to the dish.
Jake waved goodbye to the camera, “That's all for today's video! See you next time, right here in Objects n' Jake, Objakes!”
THANK GOD. It's finally done. Timothy stopped recording. He returned the camera to Jake.
“Just put it there.” Jake said, then he offered Timothy some ramen. “You should try some, Timmy! I swear, it's good! My secret ingredient goes well with the texture of the ramen.” He said proudly.
That soggy shit is tasty? Timothy looked at the plate, then back at Jake. He said in an apologetic voice, “I'm gonna have to decline. I'm pretty full—”
“Try it.” Jake put a bowl with a portion of the noodles in front of Timothy.
“Ah, you didn't have to, really, Jake—”
“Eat it.”
“Huh?”
“Eat it.”
They stared at each other in an uncomfortable silence. Timothy decided to just leave.
“I think I should go. I have something to do—”
“Sit down, Timmy. You haven't finished your ramen.” Jake said.
He stood up and guided Timmy back to his seat, “You shouldn't waste food.” Jake put the bowl of ramen—with mostly meat—in front of Timothy.
Timothy gulped, his nervousness taking over. He picked up his chopsticks under Jake's gaze that never left him.
What the FUCK. Why does this feel like my last meal???
Timothy opened his mouth and hesitantly chewed the marinated meat.
The seasoning was good but, the texture was weird. He thought it'd taste like beef, judging from how it looked, but it was sweeter. Maybe from the seasoning? It was tender. Was it pork? It was hard to decipher.
Maybe because it's raw. Yep, I've never eaten raw beef. But, it's good.
Timothy swallowed the food down his throat. He looked at Jake, who gazed at him expectantly.
Timothy, “It is pretty good. But, I'm not really into eating raw meat... Pretty primal, if you ask me.” He commented.
Jake paused and then laughed. “Didn't know you can talk like that, Timmy.” He winked at him. (see notes below ig)
Timothy was confused. Jake didn't bother explaining. The latter stood up and started chopping meat into smaller pieces. He took out the large chunk of meat from the freezer.
A pig's leg? No, why is it brown??? Is it a boar? Where's the fur?
...
This is tolerable. Dean would like this. Timothy took another bite. He decided to ask Jake, “Where's Dean, by the way? He's always been your cameraman.”
Jake didn't answer immediately, instead he asked, “How's the meat?”
Timothy, “Oh, it's pretty good.” Didn't I already answer this?
“Not delicious? Not appetizing?” Jake dropped the knife onto the chopping board and turned to Timothy.
Timothy, “....” Umm...
Jake, “I think it's tasty, though.” He sighed, “Well, we all have different tastes.”
“Umm.. I think Dean would like this though.”
“That's too bad. You're eating what's left.”
“Aren't you chopping more meat though..?”
...
Timothy ended up vomiting his guts out.
————————
hello everybody. can't believe i'm back with some mediocre bullshit
anyway uh footnote starts here:
erm it's actually a pun. the words raw meat and primal, i mean. do u get it? hehehehez no explanation bc it ain't for kids
see ya love ya
YOU ARE READING
Random Stuff Related To Weak Hero
Fanfictionweak hero stuff!!! but i only get motivated for a certain amount of time monthly, in other words, monthly updates or like the usual, none at all Random Stuff Related To Weak Hero © hakho_jj Weak Hero © SEOPASS (author); Razen (artist/illustrator)
