Scenarios with your comfort character (cc x reader)

Desperation

TW Self harm mentioned

1k words

Desperation. That was pretty much everything I felt at the moment. And one thing was for sure, it would be really hard to survive if it won't change anytime soon. Everyday I hoped for this change but it never seemed to come and I really had no idea how to keep going like this.

At some point I simply accepted the pain, knowing I could do nothing against it anyways. So I continued living like before and tried to hide my emotions as best as I could.

To be honest this pain, a constant companion of mine, started to comfort me in a weird way. I had felt it for such a long time now, it was hard to imagine life being different.

I was currently lying in bed, staring at the ceiling while listening to some music. Silent tears were running down my cheeks, leaving a few stains on my shirt. What happened? What happend that caused me to end up in such a terrible state?
I had no idea but whatever it was, I didn't really care anymore.

Though it hadn't been always like this because at first I did, I truly did. It bothered me to know I was slowly losing myself without being able to stop it, simply being too exhausted. I felt all kind of emotions at once, overwhelming me with every minute that passed.
Until the moment I decided to do something.

Believe me when I say I want nothing more than to tell you I did it. I managed to help myself and got out of this but I can't. Actually I made it all worse and as proof I had my arms.

I wasn't proud of it but it was too late because over the time I slowly got addicted and now...now it was hard to get back to my old self. And to be honest I had no idea if I really wanted that anymore.

As I looked down, the sight of my arms caught my eye. I was glad I was alone. I wouldn't want anyone to see them. I wouldn't want to explain myself to someone or tell them why I did it and I simply wouldn't want someone trying to comfort me. I could do this alone..at least I told myself that.

Lost in thoughts I didn't notice any of the new messages popping up on my phone and with them also some missed calls. Maybe the music I was listening to was also a reason why I didn't notice. Whenever I felt bad I could always rely on music. It comforted me and was always here when I needed it.

I had no idea how much time had passed until I heard a few knocks on my door. I didn't move. Appearantly the person on the other side of the door didn't intend to stop and just kept on knocking. "Y/n?" I heard someone say my name but kept on ignoring the person, too overstrained with everything going on at the moment.

"Y/n, please open the door!" I heard the voice again but still didn't move. Then it was quiet. Nothing was audible for a few seconds until I heard the door slowly open. It didn't take long until the person was by my side, kneeing on the ground beside me. "Oh god, Y/n!" I heard the voice again and instantly knew who it belonged to. C/c/n.

I felt a hand on mine now. It touched mine softly, telling me with this gesture it would be gone whenever I wanted it, while still being here comforting me. I appreciated that a lot, especially right now.

Noticing I didn't do anything against it, another hand placed itself on me pulling me slowly closer. "I'm here, y/n. You're not alone." Even though I couldn't really show it right now, these words meant a lot to me and c/c/n acknowledged that.

C/c/n tenderly lifted my chin making me look up. Seeing these beautiful eyes made me feel a bit better, they always made me feel better. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" c/c/n's voice reached my ear and I simply shook my head. Nodding slowly c/c/n showed me it was okay and gave me a small smile.

Though it disappeared quickly after seeing my arms. Oh god! I forgot I wore a sleeveless shirt, but oh well, now it was too late anyway. "Y/n..." I heard c/c/n whisper quietly, obviously feeling bad because of letting me go through all of this alone.

"It's okay" I whispered, giving c/c/n a reassuring smile. "It's okay.." I said again but this time more to calm myself than c/c/n. Just staring at my arms I felt my cheeks getting wet again from a few tears that fell down. What had I done? This question would probably never leave my mind...

Completely focused on what was in front of my eyes I didn't see c/c/n moving at first. But when I felt two arms pulling me close into a hug, I looked up again. C/c/n's eyes were also a bit teary but no tears escaped them, wanting to be here for me without trying to worry me even more.

"I'm here for you, y/n and I won't leave your side if that's what you want me to do. I'll stay with you." C/c/n looked me in the eyes, never daring to break our eye contact. "I'll stay with you, I promise." A small smile spread on c/c/n's face, making me feel safe for the moment and placed their chin on my head.

Although the situation had been quite unbearable I was happy I wasn't alone. I had no idea why c/c/n was still here with me but one thing was for sure. C/c/n kept the promise and stayed with me.

Author's note

I know for my first imagine this is pretty sad but I'm planning on writing happier ones.
I hope you liked it and if you find any mistakes or have something else to say, please let me know!