Scenarios with your comfort character (cc x reader)

Feels like the end

TW panic attack mentioned

1275 words

As I looked down onto the ground, my vision became blurred as tears slowly made their way over my cheeks and dropped onto the cooling asphalt. Everything in me contracted and pleaded for a final ending, for simply peace, peace I haven't known in such a long time now.

I was paralyzed. Paralyzed from all the emotions I felt at once, but at the same time from the numbness that threated to destroy me. I felt my breathing quicken and my heart hurting but I didn't have the energy to do anything against it.

I just knelt down, scared of what would happen if I kept standing and pulled my knees close to my chest, hoping it would comfort me somehow. Unfortunately it didn't have the effect I wished it would have, so I sat there on the cool ground, waiting for..nothing?

I mean what would be there waiting for me, except the pain that never seemed to leave my side. I felt like I was losing everything that used to bring me joy and made me feel like I actually was okay. That made me genuinely smile and feel emotions, everyone longed to feel.

But now, now I had none of that. Just the empty feeling where all of these things once had a special place in my heart. I lost them, and with them my will to live. But I simply wasn't strong enough to do what my heart and every part of my body craved for, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be.

Suddenly the ringing of my phone sounded and drowned out the many thoughts that were slowly but surely driving me insane. Nothing or no one was near me. It was just me, myself and I somewhere in nowhere listening to the recurring sound of my ring tone.

As I looked at the name that popped up on my phone, my heart started beating even quicker than it already did. I slowly lifted my hand to my face in an attempt to dry my tears, which were uncontrollably running down my tear-stained cheeks.

It was c/c/n.

I knew the moment they would hear my voice, they would know something was wrong and I wanted everything but this to happen. Also I didn't want to worry them and for sure not their help. This was my fight, I had to fight and no one else's. I tried my best to steady my voice as I picked up.

Hello?

Hey, where are you, y/n? I thought you would come over tonight.

I had no idea what to say. I couldn't possibly tell them the truth, about me having a panic attack on the way to them.

Y/n, are you still there? Are you alright?

There was the question. Something deep inside my heart wanted to scream from the top of my lungs, hoping it would change anything about the situation I was in, but instead I remained quiet and said what I always said.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I knew they wouldn't believe me because I heard myself and the way my voice sounded but I didn't plan on changing anything about the way I always seemed to handle my feelings in the presence of someone else. Thankfully c/c/n didn't address it and just said

But where are you then? We agreed on meeting half an hour ago, should I get you?

I didn't respond once again, but kept quiet. The pounding feeling in my heart was still present, making it hard to answer and unfortunately the silence worried c/c/n.

Y/n? Are you really okay? What happened?

And that's when I couldn't help it anymore and quiet sniffles escaped me.

Nothing. I'm alright, don't worry.

I can't help but worry, y/n. You mean too much to me not to worry, so please tell me. What is wrong?

I wasn't sure how to respond. I didn't want to tell c/c/n what was truly bothering me. I had to deal with this alone and i would, although it might won't end well..

I'm just- It's nothing, really.

Alright, I'm coming over.

What?

You heard me. I'm coming over to keep you company.

You really don't have to, c/c/n-

But I will. Like I said, you mean a lot to me and I want you to feel okay, so I'll be there soon. Please wait for me, y/n.

I thought about trying to keep them away but at the same time knew they wouldn't listen anyway. But there still was one problem. I didn't really know where I was right now.

When c/c/n heard you say that, they instantly got even more worried about you but tried not to show it that much and asked if you could describe your surroundings. I did what they said and hang up, sitting under a street light that dimly illuminated the darkness around me.

And that's when it hit me. C/c/n would see the state I was in right now because sadly I was still feeling more than bad. My breathing was quick and as best as I could I tried to change it. After a moment it even got a bit better but not as good as I hoped it would.

Though c/c/n would notice how I was feeling after just looking at me, and to be honest that wasn't really hard. I mean just one look at myself could tell I was quite dead inside, even though I did everything to hide that.

As I was trying to calm down just a bit more, car lights drew near and I could tell they belonged to c/c/n. I slowly stood up, after noticing I was still sitting on the ground, waiting for their arrival.

Once they pulled up next to me, I could feel my heart shatter even more  as I saw their face. Nothing but worry was written on it although c/c/n tried their best not to show it. This is what I did, I worried them.

The second I started to regret I didn't stop c/c/n from picking me up, the door opened and within the next second two arms embraced me. A bit taken aback I didn't return the hug but after thinking about it for a second I slowly placed my own arms around c/c/n.

"It's alright, y/n" they whispered into my ear and elicited a few tears from me. It felt nice to hear that, although a part of me knew it was everything but the truth. Nothing would ever be alright..

As my thoughts threated to take over me completely two hands placed themselfes on mine and squeezed them comfortingly. C/c/n was looking me straight in my eyes now and I could tell they knew which demons I was fighting everyday.

A sad smile appeared on their face and c/c/n whispered once again

"It's going to be alright, y/n. I promise!" You felt different emotions at once and as you wanted to say something they spoke once again "I know it doesn't seem like it now and you don't even have to believe, if that's not possible right now, but just know I won't stop believing for you. I will never stop believing for you!"

In c/c/n's eyes lay so much affection, it made your heart beat faster. But this time not because of fear or pain.

No, but because of gratitude and maybe even hope...

Author's Note

I hope you liked this chapter and as always, if you find any mistakes or have to say something, please let me know!