"You'll be the death of me."

1 (The Letter) - edited

A/N obviously all characters are J.K Rowlings i am only adding  to her stories non of this is canonical. Also it was originally going to be quite a sad story line but I kinda wanted this to be different than other fic's so I switched it up a couple chapters in (you can probably spot where the motive  changes)

Harry's POV:

The Weasley household has never been this quiet in years. After the loss of Fred in the war the once upbeat motive was lost and was replaced with grieving. I've been thinking alot since the war and it feels like if I don't get out of this house I'll go crazy with the guilt I am burdened with daily. I'm told that I'm a hero and I saved the wizarding world but I couldn't save everyone and even with that loss I remain the focus point of attention. The weeks after the war the Daily Prophet was filled with stories of me, of how I was heroic and selfless and strong and brave. All words of praise towards me but not a single acknowledgement of those lost.

It was my saving grace the day Ron, Hermione and I received our letters from Professor Mcgonagall asking for us to return for yet another year at Hogwarts to re-take our final 7th year exams. I replied quickly, sending the letter back with one of the school's owls pleased to have something to do instead of lounging around the burrow for the rest of my life. It was only once I'd sent my letter accepting her offer that I really began to think of what that meant for me. I would soon be returning to the place where people were wounded and killed for the sake of the wizarding world. Where I had watched people die and kill and be tortured and suffer and the grimaces on the faces of victims as they fell in defeat. It was soon a mantra playing through my head on a loop. I rammed my eyes shut in an attempt to shut out the worrying image of the dying students that I had shared so many years with, who I'd grown up with. All the mental turtute tiring me and I flopped onto the mattress laying across the floor and all thoughts stopped circulating in my head as I drifted into an unsettled sleep.

The days leading up to my return to Hogwarts vanished quickly, time racing past as I willed it to slow down dreading the return to Hogwarts but craving for it nonetheless. These days I have pondered over what it would be like when September came. Although this was usually cut short by Hermione forcing me to either study for the new year so i don't get "behind" or telling me to go outside and have some fresh air so she could study in peace. I usually ended up strolling the gardens on my own once or twice joined by Ginny who would simply walk next to me. Not asking questions, just bringing company for each other, we have been close since the break up. She took it unexpectedly well knowing that I had changed much after the war and being ok with that as she had changed as well. I am currently sprawled on an empty patch of grass in the full light of the sun resonating in the feeling of it tingling against my exposed skin. Hermione always pestered me for doing it, saying it would damage my skin and I'd look like a leather handbag by the age of 35 from heat damaged skin. But I loved the feeling as the silence encased me in nothingness wrapping me up like a swaddled baby. The chirping and the singing of the wind through nearby trees erased everything that mattered from my thoughts, letting me finally relax. It was like a form of comfort like it would always be there, never different, always the same undisturbed silence. Today as I was sprawled out on the lawn next to the burrow my silence was cut through by Molly Weasley's calm voice coming down the garden towards me snapping me from my trance like state. "Harry dear? Harry come inside. You'll catch the sun laying outside too long." Getting to my feet I smiled in her direction, the smile being wide and happy but the feeling not resonating in my emotions. "Come on dear pop inside we're having some lunch and then i think we'll head out to get your school supplies once you're all finished." She spoke reassuringly as we made our way up the garden not expecting an answer but still chatting away filling the silence that lingered between us. Inside the kitchen table was laiden with various shapes of what looked to be scones, butter and jam were set out on the table as well as some knives in a pile next to unused plates. I grabbed a plate and a square-ish shaped scone. I split it in half and spread butter and jam over the two halves taking a seat at the table across from Ron and Hermione. Ron was sitting with butter and jam all around his mouth, smeared onto places I didn't even know it could get, which caused me to laugh lightly at his old habits.

Ron stopped eating and looked up at me questioningly "What're you laughing at." He said choking slightly on his mouthful of scone, washing it down with a gulp from a dainty looking tea cup. After Rons disgusting attempt at speaking with a mouthful of scone Hermione looked up from her book to tell off Ron for being so bad mannered. The look on her face when she saw the disgrace that was her boyfriend made me laugh even more as she took in all the butter and jam on Ron's face. "How do you even get jam on your eyelid Ron? seriously there's no harm in eating slowly and cleanly." Ron blushed at this statement and went to wipe his face with his hands, Hermione stopped him by grabbing his wrist and placed a napkin in his open hand. Hermione shook her head looking frustrated at Ron's inability to take in any correction to his behavior and manners. When I've finished eating I clean my plate with a quick spell and stand up from my seat at the table placing it on the shelf where it belongs. Hermione collects her and rons plates and spells them both clean, I take them from her and put them with mine creating a new stack in the shelf. After clearing away lunch Molly Weasley returned and we were through the floo and out into the open street of diagon alley.

The last few weeks had passed like a blur, thoughts of returning to a war zone plagued my mind but I longed to return to the only place that had ever really felt like home. Now that we are at the station more worry sets in, it's all real now it's actually happening and I can only hope when we get there it's as if we never left. Walking through the brick wall to platform 9 3/4 I find myself in a crowd of parents and students surging around like a huge school of fish. Following the red hair that belongs to Ron I make my way through the crowd trying not to draw attention to myself and just get to the train so I can relax. Climbing the metal steps inside I follow Ron and Hermione into the nearest empty compartment and levitate my luggage into the overhead shelf before sitting in the seat across from Ron and Hermione. Slumping backwards into the seat I slouch slightly leaning my head against the window and watch my breath fog up against the window. After a moment of being lost in my own thoughts I look up to see Hermione's worried gaze settled firmly watching me. Her eyes are narrowed in thought and her eyebrows are being pulled down in concentration, they slacken slightly as she recollects herself and shoots me a sympathetic smile before turning back to Ron. The train's whistle sounds and its wheels lurch forward on the tracks sending my head scooting forward slightly on the glass, I resettle myself, straightening my neck. I let out a deep breath as the train departed the station, I prepare myself for the unknown and let my eyes fall shut and relax my thoughts as much as I can allowing sleep to take over.