Through Her Eyes ✔

86. FEEL

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Soul drain is a dangerous type of soul bound. One needs constant physical touch of the soulmate from their very first touch or their bodies would be drained with soul energy and would end up to paralysis or worse, death.

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Seokjin doesn't know if she's okay. If she's happy or sad. Elated or not?

He can't feel her.

He can't tell how she is faring yet he couldn't tell them that.

"Are you okay bro?" Hoseok asks.

The inquiry surprises him. Hoseok might have caught up with his unusual silence.

"Huh?" 'What to say?'

Startled, he panics a bit. He is not sure what to say. Is Hoseok asking for him or for her?

Is he alright? Is she alright? How to determine their emotions apart? Is this barren feeling his with her distance? Or hers with their distance? Is he the one feeling the loneliness even with the presence of his six brothers in their bond? Or hers with their absence?

"Are you alright?"

No. He wants to reply. He wants to tell them, yet he couldn't dare to unlit the light on the younger's eyes. Nor the happiness that the others have over the memory of her smiles and sweet goodbyes as they left her in Korea. He doesn't want to tarnish and give any reservations to her every calm and happy responses on their every video calls. He doesn't want to muddle up the vividness of her images in their heads with uncertainty.

Because he does not know what to say.

His soul feel is not working.

"Y-yes... I am alright...she is alright... I think." Jin only mumbles.

"You think? Can't you tell what she is feeling now?" His mumbling only ignites Yoongi's anxiety. It pushes the second eldest to question in nervousness.

Jin perfectly understands. He is nervous too, because it has been years that he had felt the consolation that wherever he is, he would know that she still exists. The security is there inside his being... in his heart... within his soul. He had been confident with his connection to her. Wherever he is, he trusts that his soul would tell him her feelings, yet his soul betrayed him with that.

It has been making him uneasy. It has been making him sad. It's making him want to constantly bombard their Daun with his calls and chats and ask how she is. But he couldn't always ask that. He couldn't, for it would reveal the secret that he had been keeping. Because his brothers, among all else, trusted his soul feel. Perhaps, more than him.

"She's alright Yoongi. I am just exhausted. I can't quite discern much what she feels right now." Jin admits.

True. He is exhausted. Exhausted and confused on why he can't feel her anymore.

He didn't know when it started. He couldn't tell the exact time. He just realized that when he missed her so much and called for her. He watched her on his phone screen and couldn't see the same gleam of happiness on her eyes. He had been thinking that the overwhelming happiness that he had been feeling was hers. He thought that the excitement brimming within his heart was hers only to see the reality within her dark brown orbs.

"I'm quite lonely right now. I miss you so much." The confession and the absence of light in her eyes was a punch to his gut. There, Seokjin realized that the happiness was only his. It was his excitement of finally meeting again their international fans. That the giddiness that he felt was because of the tour and not with Daun's penchant to beautiful paintings and art exhibitions. When he looked through deep inside, he couldn't see the same emotion in her eyes. He couldn't.