𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬 ✓ (#1)

29. Broken glass

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I felt like I wasn't even in myself. I was a empty soul. I couldn't even move my legs. I don't know how but i made my way into the house. Tessa was quick to greet me but she was such a nice woman that when she saw my state, she didn't even pressure me or anything, just offered a cup of tea which I declined. She quickly called Amelia and they went into their small house, leaving me alone, just like I wanted.

I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. Max's words ringed in my head making my chest and stomach tighten. I had this weird feeling and pain in them which literally made me want to vomit. My breath hitched and I finally let it all out. Tears started streaming down my face, I couldn't even controll it. Squeezing my eyelids, hoping my tears would stop but in vain. I sat there unmoving and sobbing for the next whole hour.

Why did it have to be this way?

Why does it hurt so much even if it happened years ago?

"Maybe because they're always hurting you." My inner voice said, and it was right. I can't remember a moment when I was in complete happiness and peace. There was always someone who would hurt me. Even the past digs up his secrets and finds a way to hurt me again.

I honestly couldn't do this anymore.

Every muscle of my body hurted. Every tear burned my skin. My throat was sore from so much crying.

I somehow dragged myself to the kitchen to get a cup of water. My hands were so shaky that the moment I took the glass, it fell from my hands.

It broke...just like my fucking heart.

I sighed. I need to get my shit together just a little bit. Come on, Paris. Just do-

"Fuck it." I thought to myself and grabbed the bottle of whiskey which was sitting on the counter and deceiving my gaze.

I opened it and immediately took a sip. The smoky and strong taste made me shut my eyes tight. I was never a drinker. I didn't drink often and when I did it was mostly wine.

But the first thing that came to my mind right now waa of course the cliche quote: Drink your pain away.

Sip after sip, my head started hurting and i felt dizzy. I tried to get up from the chair but I almost fell. My steps weren't stable as i had to hold on to the wall to make my way towards the living room. With the bottle in my hand, I plumped down on the sofa.

Suddenly, the front door opened, revealing Elias. I chuckled when I saw his confused face.

"You aren't sleeping?"

I got up and walked to him with woobly legs. I reached near him and held his collar as he held my waist, preventing me from falling. "I was waiting for you." I said with a slurred voice and he looked at me weirdly.

"Are you drunk, Paris?"

"Nooo." I started giggling.

Elias rolled his eyes in annoyance. He grabbed my waist tighter and leaded me to the couch, sitting me down carefully. He glanced at the empty whiskey bottle and scoffed. "You drank all of this?"

I shrugged and continued giggling. "Nooo I didn'ttt."

"Why did you even do this, Paris?"

My giggling stopped when the memories hit back. Even if I tried to forget...it all came back again. I kept quit.

Elias sat down next to me and ran a hand through his hair. "Paris, can you please tell me why did you drink a whole fucking bottle of whiskey?" He said this time angrier.

And just like that, I started crying again. "Wh- why do they al- always hurt m- me?" I kept crying amd my words were slurred which made it harder for Elias to understand me.

"What do you mean?"

"Th- they always hurt me." I whined.

He frowned and tilted his head. "Are you talking about our wedding? That hurt you?"

I shook my head 'no' then 'yes'. "Y- yeah that hurt me too b- but I'm not crying about that."

Elias grabbed my hands and pulled himself closer to me. "Then what hurt you, Paris?"

I looked up into his dark eyes. I don't know if it's because I'm drunk but I suddenly hugged him. I don't know what came over me but I jumped into his arms and nuzzled my head into his neck, crying my eyes out. Elias was taken aback but he quickly recovered and circled his arms around my waist, holding me tight against him.

"M- Matthew...he cheated on me."

I felt him stiffen when I said that.

"What?"

I didn't answer. Just hugged him tighter and buried my head deeper into his neck, breathing in his scent. I was hiccuping from all the crying. And I was tired, so fucking tired.

"Paris? Paris?" I heard Elias calling my name but I didn't have the energy to answer back.

I immediately drifted off to sleep, while breathing his rich scent.

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I feel so bad for my bby Paris❤