Can't Trust Anyone (On Hold)

Chapter 8 Goodbye.

Angela's POV

Why do I think like this? Why can I just be one of those girls that wake up feeling beautiful, skinny, loved. The thing is I'm a complete hypocrite I always say "I hate when people pity themselves." We'll I'm pretty sure that that's all I do. Do I hate myself? Sometimes I think like how I use to. When my Dad died everything turned to shit. My mom became an alcoholic. I haven't talked to her in years. I have some family but I never see them. Fiz, lots, daisy, phoebe, Lou, And their parents of course. But we don't live close. I'm lucky if I see them twice a year. My true family will always be with Asiana. With Corey, and her parents. They were with me threw it all. The anorexia, the cutting. Even though they had no clue of the cutting. They thought I just didn't eat a lot, and never had a chance to see my cuts. I hid them well. Asiana found out about my cutting she actually is the reason I stopped. She made me feel better about myself, and about my whole family situation. Which is why I even feel more terrible then I did before. No I did not cut. Yet. I prepared a blade if I need it. Some people think it is disgusting but to me every time I cut I feel happy, beautiful. The pain feels good. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. I'm not one of those people who cut for attention I do it because...I love it, I'm addicted. I do it on my tummy right by my bra line. I do to want anyone to see. Ever. I was thinking maybe if I look a bit more like Asia I would be considered beautiful. Diet time for Angela.

I got up out of my bed, and stretched. My stomach started to grumble. To bad deal with it fatty I told myself. I got ready in a HUGE black, and white stripes sweater with black leggings, and white uggs. I put my hair up in a sock bun with my silver dog tag my Corey baby got me, and trudged down the hall to see Asia looking all cute still asleep. I pulled the blankets up more tucking her in so she is all warm, and cozy. Maybe today won't be as shitty as I thought. After all the Boys aren't here anymore. I sighed. I miss them. All of them. Asia always told me I am to forgiving but that's just me. I can barley go a day being mad at the people I truly love. Like the boys. Maybe I should...I'm going to Skype them and apologize. I'm going to call harry to see what the lads are up to.

(The call will go Angela, harry, Angela, harry.)

Ring, ring, ring.

"Harry you there?"

"Yeah love. Listen I'm sorry about yesterday. I wanted to call right when we left but Liam told me you, and Asia needed your girl time, and I shouldn't disturb you."

"Hazza it wasn't your fault. plus you would never be a disturbance You are one of my favorite people the only way you could disturb me is if you showed up at my door nude. That would be extremely disturbing." I joked around with my new crush.

"I guess that's going on my bucket list then babe." I bit my lip hearing that smirk in his voice made me want to kiss him through the phone.

"Are the boys right there?"

"Yeah."

"Can we Skype? Like right now?"

"Sure thing love. I'm going on to the lap top right now babe see you in a minute."

We hung up, and just as we did I received a Skype call from the boys. I clicked it, and smiled as I saw their faces. They looked a bit sad. Maybe thinking I'm mad at them?

"Hey my sexy British/Irish dancing monkey men! How are you today?" I smiled at them, that made them all laugh. Someone started to turn the screen towards them. Niall.

"I know I am the worst friend ever. I made you feel like shit when you did absolutely nothing wrong. It was a silly game but I took it seriously. I'm sorry Angela."

"Why did you do it Niall? Do you really think I'm a whore?" My voice cracked a bit.

"NO! I do not Angela...truth is I was jealous. I was jealous that you chose a guy that wasn't me."

"Why would you be jealous when you dared Asia to undress and you told her that her body was hot!"

"Wait is that why you chose harry? Because I dared Asia to undress? Ang any guy would do that for any girl. It's a guy thing."

"No Niall not every guy would do that for every girl. Some guys stick with one girl when they truly like her. And no. I chose harry because harry is a complete sweetheart. He makes me feel beautiful. He told me things you never have had the balls to say. I also don't think that he would have dared Asia to undress just to get a look a girls body. To be honest people always say you are the sweet, and innocent one while harry is the perverted lad who wants to get in every girls pants but you know what I think it is the exact opposite. I think the reason you were jealous when I picked harry wasn't because you actually liked me but because I might actually like someone besides you for once. Let me be happy Niall. Let me move on because you have clearly shown to me that you never liked me for me you are a sex crazed pig, and I won't be doing anything with you EVER. "

Where did confident Angela come from because I freaking love her. Niall looked at me in shock. I'm pretty sure I saw tears in his eyes which makes absolutely no sense because he made himself sound like a complete ass. It's not my fault that he made my choice clear. Harry might actually be able to treat me right. And I can hold his heart rather then smash it like those girls he has been with before.

Niall turned the camera around so I could no longer see him. I looked at Liam, and Lou. They looked almost mad?

"Angela you're not allowed to date ANY of the boys. Got it?" Lou spoke sassily.

"Excuse you? I can do whatever the fuck I want. You aren't my mother, and if you were I still wouldn't listen." I replied angrily with just as much sass.

"No..Ang I think this will benefit us all..no dating the band mates." Liam tried to sound sweet.

"You're in on this too? So you won't date Asia them?" I asked.

"Ang that's different she's not Lou's cousin." Liam protested.

"Wow. And what dose harry think of this?" They turned the camera to harry who looked scared? Nervous?

"Angela...you're a sweet girl, and all but Louis right it's wrong to date a band mates family member. Plus we only made out we weren't even an item yet." That broke my heart. I actually believed his words. I thought he really liked me. Maybe Asia is right maybe all guys are exactly the same.

"Lou." I whispered looking down.

"Yes Angie?"

"You don't need to worry about me dating any of the boys." I whispered again. Lou smiled.

"Thanks Ang I can't wait till you-"

"No Lou. I feel like before. When dad died, and mom became an alcoholic. I feel heartbroken I can't go to the cabin Louis. I will do something stupid. I can feel it." I looked up at Lou he looked shocked, and hurt.

"Louis we can't do this anymore. I will break if I'm without the boys or with them. It is best if I stay away. For good."

"Angela...stop...please. I don't like it when you talk like this. I don't want you to go back to stupid ways. I can help you." Lou had pleading eyes as the rest of the boys stayed silent.

"Louis you can't help me this time. I'm a broken toy that is unfixable. I need to go. I need to try, and forget everything."

"You want to forget me?" Tears streamed down his face. My heart can't take seeing him like this. He is not his usual happy,crazy, sassy self. He is a sad puppy who has lost his owner.

"I don't want to forget Louis I have to forget." I looked down at my wrist looking at the charm bracelet the boys got me when I still had a family. I held it up to the screen so the boys could see, I then walked to the trash, and dropped it in, then shut the lap top.

I ether just saved my life or completely ruined it.

~ intense right? :) love you guys. ~ Angela X