Can't Trust Anyone (On Hold)

Chap 20: My prince

"Angela I Love You, more then just friends, I want you to be mine, I want to hold your hand as we walk in Paris, I want to take care of you when you get sick, and feel lost, and lonely. Angela the only thing I don't want is for you to commute suicide."

Angela's POV

Thump, thump, thump. The sound of my heart racing with every word that's been said, every secret that's been revealed.

Huu uhh, huu uhh. The sound of my loud inhaling, and exhaling as they speak calming words into my mind hoping for me to stop and rewind.

Their faces, not the look of disgust I intended to see but instead filled with pure pain, and agony.

I never meant to be that girl the one you heard about on the news, the one that everyone thought was so happy and full of life. I never wanted to be the one away from all the fun lying in a hospital bed thinking of what I've done. I just want to be happy but happiness is pains best friend.

"I need help." I whispered unable to peer up at their lost faces wondering if what I'm doing is right.

"We know Angela, we are not mad at you in the least. You have a problem that needs to be fixed and we are all here for you, and love you so much please put the knife down I cannot lose you." His face was drained of all happiness, his big blue eyes were now a watery shade of grey with a red tint. He cares so much yet showed no interest in me until now. Why? I truly believe people don't realize how much they love, and need you until they realize that you are gone. Their faces so pale, so drained. I did this. I caused so much hurt, and grief. I know they keep saying they forgive me but I'm not sure if I can forgive myself.

"Angela....please say something." My eyes trailed from the floor to the seven people looking strait at me so many different emotions yet all so alike.

"Baby girl...." Liam took a few steps closer to me which caused me to back away with no emotion on my face. he can't do this he can't love me...he loves Asiana it's so clear why would he say those things? To save me? Or to hurt me. After he saw my reaction his face filled with pain and guilt. He knew he did the wrong thing by saying he loves me when this shows he won't care if I'm hurt as long as he gets her.

"Angie please you're my best friend!" Asia started crying harder while Lou Tried to comfort her. Proof. He has never loved me like he loves Asia he has never cared about me like that or soothed me. Everyone just loves Asia so much but this isn't a competition this is life so how can I compete?

"Angela we all care don't do anything stupid that will make you later on regret the things you do."

Harry spoke so nonchalantly like this could be an everyday talk and this subject is no big deal his words came out forceful like he was mad at me. He has no right to be angered with me when we were hardly friends before this all happened. How can I regret if I'm gone? The only thing I will regret is not doing this sooner. All the pain will leave.

"I can't deal with this..." Chase walked out of the room the others seemed mad he could be so heartless. The man I originally thought I loved. The man that took my virginity and was my so called first love. I don't believe in love anymore. Once you are in love with someone you never should fall out maybe you grow apart but suck it up and stay for the person that needs you, and wants you. Love has no definition, no rule book, no guide lines but there is a fine line between love and hate and he has crossed it.

"Asia I'm sorry, you told us something like this could happen but I never thought she was like that." Lou spoke to Asiana as she continued to cry. I wanted to laugh at that but instead my face tensed up in hurt, in anger, in frustration. Why was Louis telling Asia sorry? She didn't try to help me, she didn't know this would happen and if she did she was never a true friend because I was hurting and she saw it. You never thought I was like what? Sad? Depressed? Suicidal? Maybe that's because you never took the time to listen or to hear me on my perspective you never asked if I was okay you just thought I would go to you for help which you thought wrong.