Aftertaste | S. Mendes

Chapter 4

"Thank you" I smiled paying for two hot chocolate and walking over to Shawn who was blowing into his hands for warmth.

"Cold?" I asked and he nodded a yes.

"Here" I handed him a hot cup.

"You shouldn't have wasted you money on me" he complained.

"Hey! It's midnight I made you run in the cold rain so this is my treat" I said and he finally grabbed the cup and took a sip.

"So about this mystery heart breaker, whats her name?" We walked over to the train stop.

"Victoria" he answered my question. I just stood quiet as we walked.

"What?" He asked from my silence.

"Nothing it's stupid" I say.

"C'mon I can handle it" he challenges.

"You sure?"

"Positive" he says.

I take a deep breathe and looked into his beautiful brown eyes that seems to make me melt inside.

Um.. okay? Why did I just say that? Let's pretend I never said that.

"Are you sure about this whole break up situation is because of the 'L' word?" I finally manage to ask the one question that has been killing me all night.

But as soon as those words left my mouth his eyes quickly left mines to the floor and looked as if he was exposed to the world.

"Shawn?"

"...No..." he finally spoke.

"You know I hate liars."

"..There's more" he added.

"There's more? Well this is the most confusing break up" I whispered my last sentence for him not to be able to hear but I think he did.

"She cheated on me.." he spills.

"I got mad and told her to stay the hell away from me and was about to leave but she used the 'L' word on me and so I believed her but there was this feeling inside me telling me not to believe her so I told her I needed to think about it" he added.

Don't think about it, she cheated on you. She doesn't deserve a sweet guy like you, just dump her sorry ass and move on. I said to myself.

Saying my honest thought will cause him more pain, just by the look at this broken guy in front of me from a cheater. He loved her. So I rubbed his back to make him feel better.

"Let's make a deal" I said.

He sniffled and laughed weakly.

"I'm telling you my feelings and you wanna make a bet" he chuckled and looked up at me.

"I mean it's about your feelings" I smiled.

"Ok let's hear it" he said in full attention.

"It's simple maybe it'll help for the night, let's not talk about this 'Victoria' of yours nor think about her" I said.

"Not that simple to not think about her"

"So think about.. I don't know" I stand there to think.

"I mean we just met so think about questions you want to ask me" I drink out of my cup full of warm hot chocolate.

"Just ask me simple question like what's my favorite color?" I laughed lightly and he joined along.

"Alright what's your favorite color?" He chuckled.

"Maroon" I smiled.

"What about yours?" I added.

"Blue" he answered.

Just in time as the train came in.

"What if the doors close and I'm lost in New York" he said nervously.

"You have a phone?" I laughed and held his hand.

"Or just hold my hand and we'll get in together" I added and we both walked in hand in hand.

Making my feelings go crazy. What the hell is wrong with me?

We get in the train and the seats are surprisingly full at this time of hour.

"What do we do?" Shawn asked about all the seats being taken.

"We stand" I said with no problem.

"Won't we fall?" He asked a bit scared.

It's actually adorable to see him scared of riding the subway for the first time.

"We'll hold onto the railings" I said and grabbed the metal pole next to me being face to him. Shawn being tall grabbed onto the railing on top.

Just as the doors closed the train was now full of business people heading home for the night. We were all squished in. The train moved making Shawn slip a bit making me cover my laugh.

He just grinned at me.

"Favorite tv show?" Shawn asked going back to getting to know each other.

"Baby Daddy" I said.

"Favorite movie?" I asked him.

"All of the Harry Potter Movies" he smiled.

"I grew up watching Harry Potter" I said the name in Professor Snape voice causing us to chuckle.

The train bumped making Shawn come closer to me as my hand went on his chest about to fall but he grabbed me with his other arm wrapping it around my waist being against each other.

My head went up to only meet his beautiful brown eyes. We stood there awkwardly and quietly. My head went blank I didn't know what to think nor say it's like he had my tongue. Say Something or do something. My subconscious said.

He started leaning in.

Oh my gosh. Kiss Him! Kiss Him! This is actually your moment. No it's not he just got out of a relationship and he still has feelings for her. This isn't my moment, if I ever kiss a boy it'll be because he loves me and isn't hurt and actually has feelings for me.

That's when I coughed the other way when luckily the train stopped. He let go of me and put his hands in his pockets looking off to the floor bringing his cool back.

"Um.. First stop.. Central Park" I smiled weakly pointing to the doors that opened.

"Cool" he said awkwardly.

"Yea.." I laughed awkwardly and adjusted my bag and walked out of the train with him behind me.

Let's just pretend this never happened. I told myself.

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Edited // Published April 22, 2015