adore you || nishimura riki

lips

(my pulls for dimension: answer !! 😩❤️‍🔥👯) (slight trigger warning: mommy issues)

I wake up this morning, not the same peaceful way as times before, nonononono. I don't wake up on my own this time. Riki woke up first today, reining terror and chaos upon my peaceful dreamland. Not actually, just my heart.

He wakes me up by putting his nose all over my face and neck, along with soft brushes from his eyelashes on my cheeks. It took a lot of them to wake me up, his nose was touching mine when I finally opened my eyes. A moment of panic struck within me and I shoved him off of me and roll over. I take the blankets and cover my head, afraid he'll see my red cheeks. After a few seconds I get up, feeling the heat in my face die down. I look to Riki, who is still sprawled out on my floor. His cheeks are pink too, probably due to his clothing being too warm for him or something like that.

I walk to the bathroom and wash up my face, before heading down to breakfast.

I sit at the island and look to the oven, the time reading 8:30. I'm the last one awake today, usually somewhere in the middle of them all. They are all ready to go as well, besides Riki, but I can hear him showering upstairs. Jay made french toast today and I scarf it down, finishing a few minutes after Riki gets out of the shower.

I zoom up to my room, getting a shower quickly as to not keep everyone waiting for too much longer. In no time at all, I'm dressed in casual clothing, ready to head out and get ready. My nerves are intense, but I hope it's not obvious, I'm still paranoid as it is.

"Robyn." Jay calls, turning around as he talks to me, Sunghoon and Heeseung mimicking his actions. I continue to stand there, shocked where my own thoughts were going. Getting lost in them.

They were going back to my mother. They always do when I'm nervous.

"You'll never amount to what your brother has, it would be better if you just went ahead and gave up."

Drowning in them.

"I really wish you would try harder, your teacher says everyone else in your class is doing just fine."

Surrounded by them.

"You know a lot of people you're friends with are on the academic team, right ?"

Suffocated by them.

"Stop dancing and focus on your schoolwork. You're good at neither but at least one might get you a job."

Choking on them.

"All you're good for is marrying someone rich, yet you still focus on going down the same path as your brother. You'll never succeed like he has, you can't sing, you can't dance, you can't rap. And I refuse to put any money into helping you."

Dying on them.

"We're moving to Korea, I don't want you there to bring down our family name. Stay here and try to keep a low profile and not try to disappoint me further, okay ?"

I come back to reality at my brother's touch on my shoulder. I feel tears running down my face and hear my unstable breathing that fills the silent room, almost echoing off of the walls.

"Robyn, you'll ride with us, okay?" Jay assures, grabbing my face so I look at him. I nod my head as a response. Heeseung goes to tell my original driver and we walk to the car, Heeseung and Sunghoon sitting in the middle, my brother and I sitting in the back. I've finally calmed down, ready to talk about what just occured.

"Okay, what happened?" Jay spoke, eyes filled with concern.

"You know those terrible thing Mom used to, and sometimes still does say to me?" I ask, a tear falling from my eye and running down my cheek. He puts his head down, feeling the same pain as me. He's always felt bad, he used to think it was his fault and we'd cry together.