Purpose

chapter 9

You have a good heart and you think the good thing is to be guilty and kind but it's not always kind to be gentle and soft, there's a genuine violence softness and kindness visit on people. Sometimes self-interested is the most generous thing you can be.

Tony Kushner, Perestroika

_________________________________________

It has been 10 days since Taehyung's life took a 180-degree turn. The boy who never used to wake up before his aunt literally threw him out of bed is now waking up before his alarm clock. Finally, he is doing something he is passionate about. He was never one of those who had to work to earn; his hyung always told him to follow his desires, assuring him that he would take care of everything else. Not that he was ungrateful—he always went to the cafe and helped his hyung and aunt sometimes. He helped Jimin with his college stuff and sometimes went to his naina and took care of his little Angels. Purpose was something that was missing, and now he has it.

Every morning, he wakes up, gets ready, quickly drinks his strawberry milk, and heads to Hybe. There, he practices as much as he can and always makes suggestions that his hyungs might ignore, but Jungkook is always considerate. Jungkook is more professional than Taehyung thought he could ever be, but he is disappointed. At least he thought there was something between them, but Jungkook only kept his attitude professional even after working hours. Taehyung may pretend it doesn't affect him, but he's grown fond of Jungkook. He constantly seeks validation in Jungkook's eyes. He loves how Jungkook's eyes follow his every dance move—it's like he is mesmerized by him. The feeling of being wanted is what makes him giddy. But much to his dislike, Jungkook totally ignores his presence outside of rehearsals. Taehyung tried to court him, offering to hang out later, but Jungkook always declined. Sometimes he sulks about it, but he understands how important this show is for Jungkook and why he's behaving this way.

Today, Taehyung joined the rehearsals two hours before the schedule. There was no one in the mirror hall. He slowly moved inside and started practicing, soon interrupted as someone walked into the hall. Taehyung halted in his movements as his anxiety took a toll on him.

"Who's there?" he asked, frightened, moving towards the stairs to have a better chance to run away.

"Chill, Taehyung. I'm not a ghost, but I'm surprised... why are you early?" Jungkook asked, moving toward Taehyung and chewing an apple, his face still surprised as he didn't notice Taehyung's anxiety.

"Uh... Jungkook, I need to go to the countryside, so I'll leave two hours early. I thought it would be fair to rehearse before the scheduled time," Taehyung replied, taking deep breaths.

"Right... what is there? Why do you need to go to the countryside?" Jungkook asked, trying hard not to seem interested.

"Naina's missing me, so I need to go meet her."

Jungkook seemed confused, knitting his eyebrows as he had no clue who this Naina person was.

"Grandmother. She is my granny," Taehyung replied, seeing the confusion on Jungkook's face.

"Oh! Then won't you come back tomorrow? You will miss your practice," Jungkook replied.

"No worries, I'll return today itself," Taehyung said with a smile, still avoiding Jungkook as he might see his anxiety.

"Don't overwork yourself, Tae. You'll be tired."

"Are you... perhaps... worried for me, Jungkook? Oh my God, Jungkook, you just called me Tae!"

Taehyung felt overjoyed that Jungkook called him by his nickname. Without thinking, he just jumped over Jungkook and hugged him.

"Jungkook, thank God! Your professional aura was killing me. You were behaving like you don't know me at all or I'm just a mere colleague. You have no idea how self-conscious I was... I thought you didn't want to be my... my..."