Fook Shite Biotch;

CHAPTER IV: The Shaadi

"Not to self-diagnose or anything but somethings wrong," I declared as I watched Harry's hair for his wedding that he wanted to look like the met gala but currently it was looking like the msvv farewell that never happened. Much like the goa trip also. Lol nerdZ 😔

"MY HAIR ISNT SITTING!!!!!!!!" Harry yelled, exasperated. He looked at Louis who looked ready to take 28 rounds around the holy fire that was fueled with marujana. "My arse hurts from sitting," Louis announced randomly. "Sit on my face ;)" harry replied. Tf. these biotches weird. Anyways, back to the wedding disaster.

"H you look like Raju Rastogi from 3 idiots," Tattletale finalised after skimming iver harry's entire look yeah, he def did.

Moving on, we all knew it was a time for a glow up cause this CANT BE DESI W/OUT A MAJOR GLOW UP K??
Grt

Mapler: "Tum sab chup ho do second, pehli cheez iske hair mein almond oil daalte hain and then lets style it in a bit of a side part." yeah. Mapler is v v smort 😎
Tattletale: then lets get both of them proper good suits. Everyone agreed.
LouZer: "how do ik you guys arent trying to mess up the wedding?!"
Conchobar: "Believe me, our intentions are always pure cause wtf would we want from you. Like gurl, we seen ur life and we aint impressed. 🙏🙏🙏"
LouZer: "Bhai aise mat bol dard hota hain,"

Meow came in after fighting the paparazzi, shes famous btw cause shes a proper good gunda.
Paparazzi: "Two of your best friends are getting married, how do you feel?"
Meow: "I feel like kissing your mom what abt it????"

The guests started showing up to the wedding dressed in beach clothes even tho its september and really cold. "Wtf you chutiyass??? Yeh shaadi hain, goa trip nahi..."
"Bhai, main kya bataun tumhe. Listen vro. I dont like to be controlled by a calender. Im a free person 😎 so happy bday ig,"

Wow, weddings can be so emotionally insightful.

"ITS DONE!" Mapler yelled from the dressing room and i went to see. Harry and Louis were looking spicy. They were READY to get married yaassss.

Lets fast forward to the shaadi.

H+L begin their feres. Everyone cheers because they want it to end so we can all get drunk and dance to brown munde.

(I added vows cause i wanted to)

Louis: Harry, you have given me a stupid disease and i think i'll have it forever.
Zayn (from a distance): ARRE CHUTIYA FEELING ILLNESS NAHI HOTI.
*Everyone laughs*
Louis: All in all, harry i really love you <3.
Harry: AWWWWWWWWWWWW louuuubearrr.. So, what i want to say is i have a few plans for after our shaadi.
Louis: ;)
Harry: I will eat your car keys so you can never leave me.
Louis: KYA?
Harry: I will also eat your wattpad account so you can stop re-reading unbelievers and instead text ME
Liam(from the distance): Harry, have you been emotional lately?
Harry: NO *bursts into tears*
Louis: Ohhh, harry what happened.
Harry: I want 28 babies 😭😭😭

Men are so weird.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry tightly and pecked him on the cheek. That seemingly made everything alright and were back on track :0.

Baba Ramdev (the priest ive decided): "Now you may both do bend down and eat these ecstasy pills." They did that. "Now repeat after me:
Ispidermen ispidermen, tune churaya mera dil ka chen. Ispiderman ispidermennnn."

They repeated.

"You are both now married!!!"

Harry opened his phone to take a selfie. "Why do you as a man have a phone???" I questioned. "Go to war and die...." Harry hates his choice of frands sometimes.

After that, we partied the night away like proper desis. (firangis dni) humne hookah kara aur daaru pi. Shots shots shots. The shots fell on me tho, like i dont believe in desi superstitions par mene ek kaali billi dekhi thi so anythings possible pray for me.
Anyways, this is the end. Ily all. Bye bitches <3