indicolite | yang jungwon

three | appointment

♡Park Jisu♡

Few Days Later

"Hey Ji, don't forget you have an appointment today. I've already informed your teacher." Yujin reminded me as she placed my medication on my bedside table.

What's the point of appointments if i'm never going to get any better. Just let me live my short life in peace. No matter how much medication is prescribed to me, i'll never get better. My symptoms are close to Ventricular Tachycardia but it's far worse.

(A/N: For the sake of saving your time googling, Ventricular Tachycardia is a condition in which the SA node no longer controls the beating of the ventricles. Instead, other areas along the lower electrical pathway take over the pacemaking role. Since the new signal does not move through your heart muscle along the regular route, the heart muscle does not beat normally. Your heartbeat quickens, and you feel as if your heart is "skipping beats." This rhythm may cause severe shortness of breath, dizziness, or fainting.

However, for Soyeon/ Jisu, her symptoms are far worse than that. She would have episodes where the symptoms are severe and occur at the same time. (e.g. shortness of breath and dizziness at once which would lead to fainting.) There's no cure for her and even if she took medication it helps but its not long lasting. Through the years, doctors expected her heart to recover on its own, treating it as Ventricular Tachycardia but its not. They don't know what she's suffering from. OKAY BACK TO THE STORY)

I got up from bed and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. Once I was done, I put on a pastel blue hoodie with sweatpants and paired them with my pastel blue vans. I tied my hair up in a loose ponytail then made my way to the kitchen.

"Ji, do you want me to accompany you?" Yujin asked as she opened the refrigerator.

"oh no, i'll be fine alone." i replied, waving her a quick goodbye while walking towards the door.

——

I was sitting down in the waiting room, waiting for my number to be called. I was wearing a surgical mask to help cover up a bit of my identity. I let my eyes wander around the room. The hospital chairs were in a light shade of blue and the floor was white. Plants were placed on each corner of the room, probably to bring in life to the dull colours. To my surprise, the hospital wasn't packed today.

"ping" i looked up at the screen and saw my number flashing.

I stood up and hung my head low, trying to avoid eye-contact with anyone. Which succeeded and I pushed open the door to the doctors office.

"Jisu, Yujin told me you had an episode last night. Was it worse than the previous episodes?" Dr Ira asked as she placed her stethoscope into her ears.

"It was the same. Just that it was going on for longer than usual. Until I passed out..." I mumbled truthfully. It's difficult to tell someone that's working so hard to fix me that I'm not doing any better. Before even coming here, I was wondering if I should even tell her the truth or a sugar coated lie.

Dr Ira continued checking my heartbeat while reading my charts on her computer. She then looked at me nervously. I've seen this facial expression one too many times in my life. What's the worse that could happen, right?

"We couldn't find another heart for you. None of the hearts we have on hand matches yours. You have to stay strong until we find the right one, okay? I know you're a strong girl." Dr Ira says as she keys it into her computer.

"What's the point. I'd rather die than to continue being a burden." I replied. My response didn't fall to deaf ears, Dr Ira definitely heard it as her facial expression changed into a horrified one. I guess she really was taken aback by my remark as she just looked at lost of words.