Desolate ≫ImmortalHD

15; Car Radio

The birds chirp cheerfully as I walk toward Aleks front door. Id spent the entire night thinking about things, and debating what I was going to do next; it wasn't quite what to do actually it was how to do it. The soles of my shoes drag the ground as I walk up the cement sidewalk anxiously.

Standing in front of the door I take in, and release a deep breath. I hesitate for a moment before rapping my knuckles against the door then step back. Moments later a sleepy looking Aleks opens the door. He reaches up to rub his eyes with the back of his hand, but fails to look any less awake. His attire further supported the thought he had just gotten out of bed as a pair of pajama pants with the hem of his boxers peeking out above the waist band and no shirt didn't need qualify as going out where.

"Hey Nayelli", Aleks says softly before letting out a yawn.

"Hey, can we talk?", I ask nervously. He thinks nothing of it though as he retreats back into the house and motions for me to follow.

I do follow him inside taking a seat on the couch while Aleks heads into the kitchen. After a few minutes Aleks returns with a mug of coffee in hand, and looking slightly more alert.

"Why do you need to talk to me?", Aleks asks looking at me questioningly. I stay silent until he takes a seat next to me and begins sipping on his coffee.

"Aleks I...I can't do this anymore.", I stutter.

Shock appears on Aleks face and I can't keep my eyes on him. Aleks eyes turn toward the ground as he absorbs what I say. Another sip of coffee.

"Why not.", he inquires meeting my gaze.

"It doesn't feel right. I just... I can't do it. Aleks it's just not working, I'm not happy and you don't seem happy.", I sigh.

"I understand.", Aleks says, his bottom lip quivering. My eyes return to the floor not wanting to or able to look at him while crying.

"I'll go..", I say getting up.

"Wait Nayelli....can we still try and be friends...", he asks.

"We can see.." I say before leaving.

"Seamus open the damn door!", I yell while viciously pounding on the door with my fist. I knew that him and Ash were home as their vehicle was parked in the driveway but of course they weren't answering. I'm about to knock again when the door swings up. Seamus stands there, arms crossed over his chest looking rather annoyed.

"Can I help you?", He asks.

"Seamus I left Aleksandr..", I say trailing off.

"You're not serious.", he states before reaching for the door to close it. I quickly place my palm on the door so he can't while Seamus looks at me aggravated.

"Nayelli you were willing to ditch us for him, I highly doubt you would leave him when you were that in love.", Seamus says rolling his eyes.

"I did Seamus! Will you just listen", I plead, "I left him."

"Even if you did you ditched us....you ditched your best friends for a guy who was obviously not right for you....that's hard to forget.", Seamus says softly. I look down at the ground feeling ashamed for my actions because I was in the wrong; I shouldn't have done anything I did.

"I'm so sorry."

"I need time to think.", Seamus blurts out before shutting the door. I let out a sigh and run a hand through my hair contemplation my next move.

Somehow I end up at Eddies house nearly beating the door down in hopes the Latino would answer it. My wishes are granted as Eddie swings the door open looking rather confused as to why someone had almost beaten his door in. At the sight of me he looks like a deer in the headlights.

"Hey Eddie.'

"What are you doing here?", he asks raising an eyebrow.

"I came to see you."

"Shouldnt you be with Aleks.", he sneers.

"No, now will you shut up and listen."l question.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you, and quite frankly I don't want to. I'm sorry Nayelli but you crossed a major line. You cut all of us out of your life for what? An asshole who's hurt you more than any other being on this earth. That doesn't sit well with me, and I can't even hardly stand to look at you. I can't do that. I need time to think."

"We broke up.", I whisper. Eddies face softens but not by much.

"I'm sorry, I can't take pity on you....you should have known.", Eddie says quietly.

"I'll leave you alone then.", I whisper.

Eddie doesn't respond; he only watches me leave.

My head spins as I collapse onto the couch, tears already leaking from my eyes. The car ride home had been torture and not even the car radio playing loudly could save me from my thoughts. I couldn't stop.

I'd lost everything all at once, and had no way to get it back.

My chest felt as though it was on fire, especially my lungs. They screamed for air that was lost while choking out sobs. Tears flood down my cheeks, and I realize I was the one who felt desolate. I'd ruined my own life, and there was nothing for me to hide behind now.

I considered turning on music but decided it wouldn't be able to distract me.

I was too far gone.

I had to face what I felt, there was no way I couldn't at this point. So I sat there, my mind leaping from Aleks, to Seamus, to Ash to Eddie, and then all the way back to Aleks; a continuous cycle of things I could have done, should have done, and longed to do.

I wanted to go gather Aleks into my arms and tell him that it'd be okay; that I forgive him and want to be friends. I wanted to go to Ash, Seamus, and Eddie and apologize, I wanted to make things right and regain my best friends. Most importantly I wanted to go back and slap the Nayelli that thought things would be okay.

All the emotions ripped through me like a hurricane leaving me curled up in a ball on the floor wishing for everything to be okay. Whether or not that'd actually ever happen was debatable though. As I lay there I feel empty, useless, disappointed, awful, among many other things.

I'm also accompanied by familiar things in my sadness such as the smell of Aleks cologne that clung to my clothing from my visit to his house, the various pictures of all my friends and I that lined the walls, and even by the various trinkets they had bought me. Specks of them were everywhere, and made it impossible for me to feel any better as they just drug me down.

So I sat there with the ghosts of Seamus, Ash, Eddie, Aleks and Nayelli accompanying me while drowned in my own thoughts.

I now just sit with the ghosts in silence.

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.

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a/n
That ending it shit.
I apologize.
Idk what to say man.