My Little Saviour

Our Loss & Our Grief

⚠️TW: Misscarrage⚠️

2 months later Bucky's POV:
Mary is now 4 months pregnant. She's had a tough pregnancy so far. She has been having bad pains and cramps. I feel bad for her. I wish I could help her but she's very stubborn and won't even let me help her get a glass of water.

I woke up in bed next to Natasha and heard screaming coming from Mary's room. I bolted up and ran into her room. I saw her sitting up in bed looking down at her pants. They were covered in blood.

I panicked and ran up to her. "Oh god, Mary..."

Mary's POV:
I woke up in the most painful cramp I have ever had. I started to scream in pain. I looked down and saw blood all over the sheets. "No..." I said in a whisper. Another pain hit and I screamed as loud as I could.

Loki was out on a mission and Peter was sleeping in Wanda's room tonight. They were having a sleepover.

I heard the door open and felt someone by my side. "Oh god, Mary..." I heard my dad say. He scooped me up and carried me down to the lab.

"BRUCE!!" He yelled. "In here.." I heard a voice say. "Bruce. Help please." I felt him put me on a hard bed. "Omg..." Bruce said as he walked up to me.

Then I passed out.

I woke up with a huge headache. "Dad?" I sat up slowly. "Mary... How are you feeling?" He asked. He had tears on his cheeks. "What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

"Mary..." he started saying, "You lost the baby... I'm so sorry..." he said as another tear fell down his face.

My heart shattered. I broke into sobs. "It's okay Mary. Let it out." My dad cried while hugging me. I screamed with all my lungs.

I heard Peter run in. "Mama?" He asked nervously. "Peter..." I said and turned to him. I held my arms out and he ran into them. I started crying again. Peter looked up at me confused. "What wrong mama?" He asked confused.

"Umm... Your baby brother or sister has gone to heaven." I said trying to explain it to him. He looked at me sadly, "Like my mommy and daddy?" He asked. I nodded. "Yes, baby. Like your real mommy and daddy..." I said as I slowly stopped crying. "I didn't want them to go..." he cries. "Me nether baby..." I said as he snuggled into me.

My dad gave me a tiny smile and walked out to give us some privacy. Me and Peter sat together for a long time.

"It's gonna be ok momma. You have me..." he said kissing my cheek. I smiled sadly and nodded.

2 days later            Loki's POV

I finished my mission and arrived back at the compound. "Honey? I'm home!" I shouted as I walked into our bedroom. I heard small cries coming from the bathroom. I slowly made my way into there. "Mary?" I said as I saw her curled up in a ball in the shower crying. "Mary? What's wrong?" I said running to her side. "I lost the baby..." she whispered. My heart broke.

"Mary... I'm so sorry..." I said hugging her tight kissing her forehead. "It's my fault..." she said crying. "Hey! No! It's not your fault." I said holding her tight. "Your gonna be okay... we're gonna be okay..." I said rubbing her back.

A few weeks later       Mary's POV

I woke up in bed with Loki spooning me. I slowly got up without waking him and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. I sat down on the toilet and put my head in my hands.

Recently I've been having nightmares again. About Hydra and the Red Room. I thought they went away, but they haven't. Ever since I lost Natalie/Nathaniel, I've been on edge.

Natalie or Nathaniel is what I was going to name my baby...

Loki has been so supportive towards me these last few weeks. So have mom and dad.

I developed depression, and also I have been not sleeping too well at night. I try not to wake anyone when I get up.

I got off the toilet and walked downstairs into the kitchen on the second floor. Yes, I still live in the compound. It's the safest location for us.

I get some ingredients out and check the clock. 2:37 am. I had time to bake before everyone woke up.

Baking was my getaway. It helped a little.

I baked 3 dozen cupcakes, 5 dozen cookies, and 7 dozen muffins. By the time all of that was done, it was 9 am.

I heard footsteps come down the stairs as I cleaned up my mess. My dad walked in confused when he saw all the desserts on the counter.

"Mary?.." he asked confused when he saw me putting everything in the dishwasher. "Yes? I made sweets if you want some." I said happily. "No. That's okay. I'm sure they're good." He said smiling concerned.

"What time did you start this?" He asked. "Around 2 am," I said taking off my apron. "2 am?!" He whispered yelled. "Yes. I couldn't sleep okay?" I said frustrated.

My dad walked up to me and hugged me tightly. "It's okay Mary... everything will be okay..." he said as his tears landed in my hair. "Dad?" I asked concerned. "Baby... you can't do this to yourself..." my dad said grabbing my face lightly.

"Do what?" I asked confused while walking away getting containers for the food. "Push it away..." he said softly. I slammed my fists onto the counter, "I'M NOT PUSHING ANYTHING AWAY!" I yelled.

My dad was taken aback by that. I cleared my throat, standing up straight, "I'm fine." I said putting the treats into the boxes. "No your not Mary..." he said. "Dad... please, just stop..." I said as tears formed in my eyes.

"Mary... you're not fine. You need to talk to someone..." he said softly and grabbed my shoulder. "I don't need to talk to anyone," I whispered. "Mary..." he said hugging my shoulders.

I immediately started crying. "I'm so sorry... this was all my fault... my baby is gone because of me..." I cried. "No! Mary, no! It's not your fault, doll." He reassured me. "I'm sorry..." I said again turning around hugging him.

"It's okay..." he said rubbing my back in circles. I felt arms wrap around my legs. "It's okay Mommy..." I heard Peter's voice say lightly. I smiled and picked him up as we all hugged.