God Help me wtf
xiaoven cuz boredom is a crime
"Venti. come down from the roof. I can literally see you."
"ehe~ you got me there, xiao!" the green bard hopped down from the roof of wangshu inn, landing softly. "just because we have met ONCE through zhongli, does NOT mean we are friends, venti.." xiao sighs. "aww but you're soo cute!! i wanna be friends with you!" venti giggles. the adeptus turns completely red, before re-adjusting himself. "HAHA you turned red!! that was hilarious!" Xiao balls up his fists, ready to fight. "woah, woah chill! i'll go back home... see you tomorrow, i guess!"
wait what? tomorrow? that stupid drunk bard. ugh. xiao thinks, kicking a stone off the balcony. he lets out a sigh and walks back to the Inn.
"Xiaooooooooo do ya wanna go get some food with me? or take me around liyue? no? ugh too bad." or "Hey Xiao!! wanna go fight some monsters with me? we could even go to a tavern after!" every single offer venti made, xiao turned down. but, somehow he still enjoyed ventis company, as annoying as he was. Xiao especially loved it when Venti sang. it was beautiful, and made living amongst mortals so much less difficult for Xiao. "Xiao! When we hang out, we always do what YOU wanna do. can we do what i wanna do this time?" Xiao stares blankly at the bard. "Pleaseeeeee?" "ugh. fine venti. " Venti squealed with excitement, dragging Xiao to the nearest tavern.
"Xiaooooooooo come onnn take a sip!!!! It's delicious!" Venti emphasised the 'I' as he slurred drunkenly to Xiao. "Uhhh... Venti it's time to go." Venti slumped on the table imitating Xiao. "I said. It's time to go." Venti giggled, hiccuping. "Venti." Xiao slapped the bards face, sobering him enough to lift his face off the table. "Ehe! you're cute when you're mad.. nah you're cute always!" Venti stood up and kissed Xiao. On the lips. The adeptus has had it. He slammed his fist into the wall behind venti, close to the mans face. "*hic* ok ok fine i'm going." That was the last time Xiao saw venti. for a long time.
•••
"Xiao. Did you really threaten the God Of Anemo?" Zhongli enquired, as they stared out over Liyue. Xiaos eyes widened. "V-venti is the god of anemo?" Morax chuckles. "I'm surprised you didn't know already... i suppose that bard doesn't like to make a big deal of it, unlike ei.. oh well." Xiao can not believe the way he treated his superior. He didn't even think Venti was worthy of knowing Rex Lapis, but the bard was BARBATOS himself??? He needed to beg for forgiveness, immediately. Thanking Smiley Yanxiao for the meal, Xiao got as fast as possible to Mondstadt.
•••
"Diluccccccc... it's late, please can I stay here? *hic* I was kicked out of my house *hic* today." Diluc cranes his neck into the sky, groaning when a voice comes from the door of the tavern. "Sir, i'll be taking Venti home. i'm sorry that he bothered you." Diluc raises an eyebrow, surprised of this sensible person entering his tavern. "X-xiao?? it's *hic* spoooo good to see you." Xiao sighs and drags the drunken archon out the door.
"Why did you not let me know you were Lord Barbaros?!" Xiao shouts. Ventis head is in his hands, nursing his headache. "well, i wouldn't have gotten to know the real you." Venti pokes Xiao's chest gently, provoking an adorable reaction from the usually emotionless yaksha. "I- i don't know what you mean.
"C'monnn" Venti seemed to have sobered up completely. "You would have treated me like i'm your superior.. which honestly, i'm not. as you say, i'm just some drunk bard, not really worthy of any title, hehe..." Xiao was now regretting everything that he said to Venti. "i- i never said that you weren't worthy of any title i just said that-"
"but you never would have guessed, would you? you never would have given me a title, like lord, or sir." venti had taken ona royal aura, he seemed more like barbatos than venti. "I- but-" But xiao couldn't say anything, as everything venti had said was true. "L-look, Venti, i mis-judged you, but the thing is.... well, i really enjoy hanging out with you..."
"Awww, xiao i love you to! wait-" suddenly a pair of lips crashed into xiao's. his eyes opended wide and stared into ventis long eyelashes. "how was that, xiaoxiao?" venti giggled. "ummm... i mean it doesn't taste of wine..?" the bard let out a full laugh. "so... xiao, do you like me too?"
"...yeah venti. i like you too."
if ur wondering why this gets updated its bc i wrote it on my phone and then realised i could email it to my computer 🤷♀️🤷♀️
