Spider-Man: Finding a New Home [Andrew Garfield]

19

19.

Winter Formal

Adalia

          Peter, MJ, Ned, and I retreat to the school's rooftop in the afternoon during our lunch period. The beautiful blue sky, littered with white puffs of clouds makes for a perfect afternoon. A slight breeze rushes through my hair, and I breathe in the moist, cool air as it fills my nostrils. I see Ned, deeply concentrated on his studies for his upcoming final exam. I try to make conversation with him, yet he hardly glances my way. He's whispering numerous chemistry equations under his breath, and can't quite respond to me. I spare a glance at the loving couple to my right, and I ignore the aching and yearning of my heart. Peter has his arms firm around MJ, and every so often, they'll share sweet kisses that make my face warm with embarrassment. God, how I wish to be them. Lately, after the multiverse incident, I've become rather lonely—lonelier than I've ever been before. Ned's been busy with his final exams, and so have I, but he always makes time for me when he can. Peter and MJ, however, barely speak to Ned and I anymore. They've branched off from our quartet friend group, and keep to themselves. And, honestly, their relationship doesn't bother me much—somewhat—anymore for I have bigger things to deal with, such as following Doctor Strange's strict orders he gave us as reparations for our lapses in judgement about the multiverse incident. Occasionally, Ned and I will arrive at the Sanctum Sanctorum ready to help the variants navigate through this world of ours, and we never see MJ and Peter. If it weren't for us, the variants, who've come to our world against their will, would still have a universe—their home—to go to. Technically, everyone the variants know and love have died, and I can't live with the fact that I caused them pain.

I find myself apologizing to Flint a million times over a day because he always tells me stories about his daughter. The little girl absolutely adored the celebrity variant of myself, and Flint, who has hope he'll return to his universe, can not wait to see her again. Flint, although morose over losing his daughter, feels the most comfortable and safe around Peter-Two, Otto, and I because he feels we're most familiar to him. And I will never not show up to the Sanctum because he relies on me to vent, and often, he'll boast about his little girl, who I would love to meet if I had the chance.

I find myself apologizing a million times over a day to every single variant, knowing that I took part in destroying their universes. I owe them every bit of my support, condolences, and much more just to make them feel better, but Peter and MJ just can't seem to find it in their hearts to do that... I try not to get upset with the couple because I know they're head over heels in love. Peter just lost his Aunt May, and MJ, well, she's there to pick up the broken pieces of his heart. Who am I to be upset? And although I'm partly to blame for allowing Peter to continue with his plans to save the variants, I was the first one to say we should've listened to Strange. Now, I have to take responsibility for changing my mind, yet Peter doesn't seem to want to do the same. He's my best friend, and I love him as such, but why is he making me so angry lately?

I tell myself to understand Peter and MJ, and their reasons for sticking to each other like glue. And, right now, they're happy, and if Peter's mind and mental state stays positive, then I need to respect their decisions. Deep down, though, I feel the need to tell Peter to take some responsibility, and stop hiding behind MJ to solve all his problems. Hell, once upon a time, I was the one he hid behind to solve his problems.

In Peter's world, he only sees MJ, and anyone or anything else will be second. But, ever since I've known him, and we've started together as heroes, I've always had to be the bigger person, own up to my wrongs, and fix any issue that Peter's created. I've always had to be mature and responsible in every situation. And I was raised in a Mexican household, where maturity and responsibility goes hand in hand as you grow up. In other words, I am responsible for my actions and the consequences that follow in case I've done wrong. Peter, on the other hand, appears to lack that maturity. I thought he'd change after the multiverse incident, but he hasn't. He's stayed the same; but me, I feel like I've aged ten years...