Nightmarish

Home?

On the road we can see the tall buildings, cars and colorful houses replaced by row of trees and other greeneries. I was being engrossed by the view, when Lily burst my bubbles. Asking me to tell her what my dream was about. I never wanted to share it with her, but I made a promise. And a promise should not be broken, her words of course. So I tell her everything. I didn’t leave a single thing behind. And she was shock and terrified as expected for an eight-year-old kid after hearing such dream.

“Oh my, ate. Don't you ever go with him. I don’t wanna lose you” while hugging me.

My sister's so sweet, that's why I super love her. I'll do anything for her. I can even trade my life for her, taking a bullet just to save her. That's how much I love her. I looked directly inside her beautiful eyes. Our forehead touching and uttered.
“I won't. I promise, ate will forever be by your side” I whispered. And gave her a kiss.
She sweetly smiled at me and then fell asleep in my arms. I put on my earphones, played random songs and went to sleep.

“lola, why do you keep on looking at that tree.”
“soon my beautiful apo, you'll know soon. But for now, go to your mother ask her to make me some tea.”
“ok lola. But promise me first…”

Pointing my pinky towards her.

“what is it, apo?”
“that you'll tell me when I'm ready!”
“hahaha, apo. You're just six. (caressing my face) When will you be ready then? I might be dead by that time.”
“ehh, lola. Don't say that. When I turned 18, for sure you'll be there alive and laughing. Promise me lola.”
Again, I let out my pinky.

“hay naku! Fine. I promise, crossed my heart.”
“pinky promise?”
“yes, pinky promise.”

And she wore her vibrant smile and kissed me on both of my chubby cheeks.
"Gosh, it's just a dream"
I woke up after that dream.

I felt something weird. Aside from the fact that my dream is clearer than before, as if I'm really there. Watching myself talk to my lola. It is so odd, why all of a sudden, I dreamt of my late lola. The truth is I can't even remember any memory from the age 10 and beyond. Seems like all my memories of those years are erased, but I have no idea why and who did alter my memory. I tried asking my parents but they don’t have the answer. Maybe if lola's still alive she might have the answer for my questions.
It was dark when we arrived at my lola's ancestral house. I don’t really remember much of its features aside from the photos we have at home. Maybe because I stopped visiting this when I turned 10. Since then it is my lola. visiting us at home with some delicacies from here. I tried asking her one day why we're not visiting her place anymore, but here's what I got in return.

“It's better this way. So no one can get you.”

It felt kinda weird looking at it from reality and the pictures I've seen at home. It's too old fashioned, I think it was build a hundred years from now but very well maintained thanks to tito Rommy my father's eldest sibling and his family who stayed here right after lola died.

“kuya Rommy, where here.”
Tito Rommy descended from the door.
“Where's kuya Sanny and Kuya Bert?”

My father asked him as they hugged each other in a manly way.
“Sanny and Flora are here with their two sons Jake and Franc. While Bert is in the market finding some viand for tomorrow.” Tito Rommy said

“ahh, ok we'll go inside kuya. The kids need some rest. Especially Janice. Kids, mano to your uncle” tatay asked as.
Lily and I gladly follow.

“Is this Janice now. What a fine lady. You've grown so much from the last time I've seen you, you were just this little kid who doesn't leave her lola behind following her around. But now, look at you. You practically took after the features of inay. Bless her soul. Ayy, go on they're waiting for the two of you”
“thanks tito. Is kuya Hans here?”

I asked, looking for my eldest cousin. Kuya Hans has been my favorite cousin since we're little. He used to save me from our neighbor's kids when they bully me because of being a kid coming from miles away.

“yes, yes, he's inside extremely excited to see you both. Especially you Janice. He can't stop saying your name, how he misses you and how he wanted to spend some quality time with you. Go inside now, he's probably there. And give him a little shake from the inside. hahaha”

Hearing that from him, I excused myself and went straight inside of course with Lily tagging along. I know she missed our cousins and they missed her too being our baby. Finding kuya Hans near our family albums. Looking or to say engrossed to the pictures way back when our lola was still alive to our parent's photos starting from their childhood to wedding pictures. And of course our cute pictures solo and as a group of happy kiddos.

“hey, kuya. Seems engrossed ehh!”

I greeted him, sneaking from behind.

“yahh. I could have had an attack”

I only smiled at him. I also look at our grandmother's portrait. In that portrait she was still alive. Smiling at the painter holding three red roses in her hand. In her beautifully cut and seamed baro at saya made specifically for that day. She looked like a very fine lady in the medieval time. Creepy but so pretty.

“I missed lola so much”

He said breaking the silence between us.

“me too, kuya. I wished I spent much time with her.”

He hugged me to remind me that he's here, or just what I thought. Cause he ruined my perfectly fine hair.

“hayyst. Lola wouldn’t want us to be sad. Come now, Janice. I know that you're tired from the long ride. Take some rest first and we'll catch up tomorrow with our other cousins. Jake and Franc's occupying their dad's room. While the other rooms are occupied already. Is it ok if you use lola's room? She asked us to keep it tidy and neat for your use. Or else, we'll be doomed. hahahhaha”

I just smiled and nod. In my gesture he leads the way to the room. Since I don't know where. Unlike Lily she's been here for a couple of times so she knows everything about this.
My room is what I expected it to be. Old yet classy