you are in love [Kaylor]

nothing new

December 13th. Without a doubt my favorite day  of the year.

22 years ago  was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, with a cool voice and the power to reck people's heart with sad lyrics.

My day was great, until I drank a lot more than i should and ended up having a mental breakdown. But we'll get into more details later, don't worry.

I woke up to the sound of two familiar voices singing happy birthday to me, with a small cupcake and a candle.

"Make a wish!" Blake said before i blew the candles off, idealizing the perfect life with a stablished career as my most requested dream.

Today Blake affirmed that she'd be all mine for the whole day. I mean, it was my birthday, i was in a new city and I didn't know anyone, she wanted to show her support.

And by that she threw a birthday party for me with all of her friends, so i could know them better and make some friends too.

I was chocked, though, when two familiar faces showed up. Dianna and Karlie, inseparable as always.

"Look, isn't she the girl from the bar?" The taller pointed out.

"Yeah, the one who threw the drink at you! I've been wishing she would call me back ever since..."

"Well, don't get your hopes so high. I always say that, right? And i mean it" the model rolled her eyes "you're too sensitive"

"But i swear she liked me, she really did. I could feel the magnetic field pulling us together, and the fact that she's here? I call it faith."

"Oh, hi girls! Come on, I'd like you to meet someone" Blake grabbed the two girls until they were in front of taylor, smiling. "Karlie, Dianna. Meet taylor"

"Oh, hi! The nice girl from the bar and my favorite beverage target" i said, giving them a small hug.

"Wait, you know them?"

"Barely" I nodded, giggling "I saw them once, and we had quite a nice conversation actually"

"Yeah. Tell blake how you fucking threw an old fashioned at me. Such an nice talk" karlie was smirking, her arms crossed. The leather jacker just added to the bad girl visual.

"It was a friendly turn down!"

"Whatever makes you sleep at night, taylor"

"Well" Blake started "I'm glad my two new york best friends are hitting well with my Nashville best friend. Now taylor just needs to meet harry... Is he coming?"

"Hm I don't really think so. He has a concert in LA tomorrow night, he's probably not even in new york by now" said the shorter blond.

"That explains why he haven't replied to my texts" Blake smiled, feeling somehow better.

Well, Dianna and Blake met at an award show and instantly hit it off. Dianna, on the other hand, was really close to Karlie, so that explains how she got into the group even though her personality doesn't seem like the type of person Blake would choose to be friends with.

Apparently there was also this Boy named Harry Styles, that was karlie's best friend too, and this other guy named Tom hiddleston that was Ryans's best friend. It was a big weird group.

So, basically, in short notice, six hot famous people who used to casually hang out. And then there was me, who didn't know what the heck i was doing with my life.

That was... definitely a good feeling to start a party.

It was an endless cycle. People entered, we small talked, they left to talk to someone else, i asked for a new cup of beer. They entered, we small talked, they left, i grabbed a beer. Well; until i felt nauseous.

"Shit"  i said, sitting down.

"Are you okay?" Someone asked, but i was too zoomed out to notice who.

"I don't know"

"Do you wanna talk?" The man asked gently, his British accent echoing in my brain.

"About my problems? No, i don't really like feelings. Better save it for the songs, you know" I said sarcastically, resting my head on the couch. "Plus we don't even know each other"

"Well, i know you are Taylor Swift. Blake told me a lot about you, and I also know you're turning 22 today. Now, my name is Tom Hiddleston"

"Oh, yeah." I paused, looking at him "you're ryan's friend, aren't you? Hey wanna do something crazy?"

"Like what?"

"Wanna jump into the pool?" I said, my eyes crossing the room until i saw a glimmering blue probably warm pool."

"You're drunk"

"And you're boring"

So i got up, he followed me. I grabbed a heart shaped sunglass, ignoring the fact that it was night, and jumped right in the middle of the pool.

While I was submerged I ended up reflecting on some things. Amazingly, it didn't occur to me for a second that I was ruining an expensive dress by jumping into the pool like that. Blame the drinks, not me.

Now what I thought was...how empty I felt. How I missed the 18-year-old Taylor who planned everything, who knew where she was going, who had a decent boyfriend who loved her. How the hell did I go from that to... this? Drunk, wearing heart glasses to avoid showing smeared makeup, wondering if I did something wrong.

At 18 I was sure that at 22 my career would be stabilized, I would be living alone, with at least an idea of ​​who I would spend the rest of my life with.

But at 22 I just... didn't know. I knew everything at 18, and still at 22 I feel like shit. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I knew my friends would be here for anything, but I also knew most of them lived hours away.

The thing is, the future is fucking scary, but you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. I know it's tempting, and sometimes you'll miss the old days. But it's a mistake.

I realized that I'm searching, searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is. I don't know where I'm gonna be in five years, and honestly I don't care. I just used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figure, if it's going to happen, it'll happen when it happens.

This sounded extremely cliché, I know. I'm sorry.

But people will go on and on about how you should enjoy your youth, and when you actually do it they call you psycho, not prepared, that you don't give a shit about your life.

So you know what? Fuck them.

As I surfaced, I noticed that more people followed me. The pool was now crowded, it was an infestation of people. I smiled, and for the first time since the party started I really felt happy.

Well, at least until blake pulled me out with an angry face saying I was going to get sick and that I was going to miss my first interview for my new album promotion if I stayed soaked like that.

shit, I completely forgot that I actually have a record deal now.

"Taylor Alison Swift Are you drunk?" She asked.

"Oopsie?" I said, blushing a little.

"I didn't bring another dress! The only thing i have is an old t-shirt. And you can't stay soaking wet for the rest of the party, so-"

"Don't worry" i tapped her on the shoulder, smiling dumbly "I... I wanna dance!"

I tried to run, but she grabbed me, pulling me to one of the rooms. She handed me a t shirt and some shorts, before she got out, leaving me alone so i could change outfits.

I woke up the next day with a headache, dianna on my bedroom floor and an old t-shirt that had "not a lot going on at the moment" written on it.

what the fuck?