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Marsh: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?
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Apple: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.
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Trophy: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
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Soap: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!
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Balloon: Please! Pretend I'm useful!
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Lightbulb: I will send my army to attack!
Lightbulb: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*
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Cherries: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.
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Tissues: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I'm somehow always feeling both simultaneously.
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Pickle: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.
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Knife: Is this a good idea?
Knife: Probably not.
Knife: Do I care?
Knife: No.
--------------------------------
Paper: My dad has a spiked collar.
Paper: *dog
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OJ: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions.
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Taco: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.
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Salt: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.
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Pepper: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*
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Paintbrush: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.
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Fan: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.
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Yang: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Yin: You sleep with a teddy bear.
Yang: He's my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!
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Nickel: I'm allergic to death.
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Baseball: Sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing voices.
Baseball: Then I remember that's the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.
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Test tube: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.
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Mic: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.
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Bow: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.
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Dough: STOP!
*Everyone stops*
Dough: wAiT a MiNuTe-
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Suitcase: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!
Suitcase: I'm actually very good at mathematics.
Suitcase: Thirdly, I think you might be right.
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Cheesy: All of a sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shut down.
-------------------------------
Left cherry: *Pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere*
Right cherry: Where did you get that?
Left cherry: My pocket.
Right cherry: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Left cherry: Skills.
YOU ARE READING
Inanimate crack
Humoryes crack i am very bored. this will probably be filled with the main 4 bright lights because i love them so much. this has incorrect quotes, headcanons, tier lists and cringe! Slow updates? Because of school
