blindness

⁹ the truth?

(unedited)

"I can see that something's on your mind. What are you thinking about?" Mikasa caught you spacing out again.

You just took a deep breath and nodded your head like everything is fine.

You could still feel her eyes looking all over your face even though you already answered her.

You turn your face to look straight into her gaze.
"What?" You started. "Nothing, you just... look like something is wrong. And I'm not pushing you to tell me anything, but are you sure you're fine?"

She was still staring at her with those lovely dark eyes of hers. She did look like she cared about you.

She actually always had that look on her face. It was maybe just a feeling of yours or even a pray that she does care about you, not a little, but a lot more.

You finally managed to say something. "I...Mikasa. Why did you break Jean's heart?" Before you even wanted to spend more time with her you actually needed to know the truth behind it.

The look on her face was telling you everything. She didn't want to answer that question of yours even though you needed to know.

She looked quite shocked to hear you ask that. She knew you still cared about Jean and his feelings, but on what cost?

If you had a chance to be with her, would you? Or will you chose your not to break your best friend's heart?

"Um.. well to be honest," Mikasa didn't seem like she knew the answer. She looked like she was making something up so she could end your curiosity.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not so sure." You look down as you knew she wouldn't answer that. Maybe she really didn't know why? Or maybe she just kept it?

As she saw your eyes leaving her face, she starts again. "I think, that... I maybe fell... in love.. with someone... else."

You looked back at her again as she spoke. With who would you fall in love? You just stared at her, thinking that she might just gives you an answer on that too.

"Who did you fall in love with?" You asked knowing that she might gets angry at you for that. But you just had to know. Was she even still in love with them?

After taking a deep breath she finally gets her ability to talk again.

"It was..."

"you."

You just stared at her not knowing how to react and not know if you should believe anything she just told tou.

There's no way she fell in love with me. We never really talked.

It was a weird feeling starting in your head and heard and your whole body. You didn't know how to even explain it.

You were just looking at Mikasa and she was looking back at you. Both of you filled with different thoughts and next words to say.

She left my best friend because of me? There's not such thing.

Before you could think about something else, your face was taken in by her warm hands.

Your breaths exchanging before she putted her lips on yours. Her lips were soft and tasted like a cherry chapstick. Her warm hands were still holding onto your face.

You couldn't believe that she kissed you right now. You wanted to kiss her back, but your mind wouldn't let you do so.

You couldn't do that to your best friend. It would be unbelievable from you. He still loved her even after... even after she fell in love with you.

Am I going to pull away from this moment I always wanted to happen?

Mikas didn't stop the kiss between the two of you. It seemed like she really was in love with you after all. It looked like she couldn't get enough of your cold lips.

You pulled out of the kiss as Mikasa still had her hands on your face. They were really warming you now and you felt safe, but you couldn't let this happen.

You were looking in her eyes and then back at her lips, wanting to taste more of that cherry chapstick.

"Sorry," you whispered as you packed your stuff before you could exchange any more words.

"Y/N, I...I'm-" before Mikasa could say anything you interapted her. "No need, it's fine. I just don't think I feel the same way to you."

You lied.

You felt just the same way as she did. You maybe even liked her more then she liked you, but you would still feel guilty because of Jean.

You never wanted that kiss to end and those warm hands of hers to leave your face. You wanted to be held close to her, where you didn't feel judged.

Even after you broke the kiss, you wanted to put your lips on hers again, even longer then she held her lips on yours. You wanted your tongues to play in each other mouths and feel how it is to be loved by her.

The worst feeling was that you couldn't act like you hate her anymore and right now you can only think how weird it's all going to be when she's not there anymore.

You thought you broke it all. You maybe even change now that you left only because you are scared.

Maybe it would still be better to come back there and give her that kiss that you wanted. Maybe it's still not late. She might be waiting for you, thinking that she fucked something up.

Before staring to drive off you take a look on your phone and see Sasha's messages of where her, Jean and Connie were.

That was your next destination. You are going to use today only to forget about Mikasa, like it all never even happened.

But before going to thag club, you went back to your dorms, to get some of the cigarettes that weren't touched by you in last two months.

I changed for her, didn't I?