BTS ffs

Chocolate Chip Pancakes (Yoongi)

The day hadn't even started and yet here I was unable to get out of bed. It was half past eight in the morning, which was usually around the time I would be making breakfast. While my husband, Yoongi would come home from his late nights in the studio; the one at home or at the office.

Right about now, I'd be making some delicious chocolate chip pancakes like I had decided to yesterday. I would be barely awake because I liked to wait for Yoongi to join me, so we could have breakfast together. Most days, he would sneak in noiseless, like a cat, and creep up behind me.

"You think you're being discreet?" I giggled, without looking behind me as I heard a small huff.

"How do you always know?" Yoongi whines, or rather mumbles in his gruff voice, as he wraps his arms around my waist and his chin rests on my shoulder. He sometimes took a while to cuddle up to me but the most days he comes back from work, hes like a clingy lil kitten. Almost purring when I run my hand through his hair.

I turn my head to give him a kiss on his cheek, "You smell." I scrunch up my nose as I wriggle away from his grasp.

He'd catch me though, pull me up close and start attacking my face with kisses. Little moments like these made me feel so happy. And I thought I was getting better.

Then why am I here, in bed, not able to will myself to do anything. Existing in itself seemed like such a big task for today. It was like a heavyweight blanket on me. It was just...there. And my quest to find 'why' starts as usual.

At some point, I thought that perhaps it's because of what one of my best friends said yesterday, or rather did.

We were just hanging out at the mall, a group of us. I was telling her about an inside joke so that she could get in on it too but she kept walking faster than me and looking around distracted. I didnt mind that though, or I think I didnt want to. So I kept going on. I should have known she was bored.

Maybe I'm not that interesting anymore. Maybe my voice irritated her. No wonder, she interrupted me and started talking about a new dish she had learnt from the internet. She has a really nice voice and who wouldnt want to know about such a worthwhile hobby. Of course, she deserves to interrupt me...what was I contributing to anyway. I was just rambling on non-sense anywa-

"Baby!" I snapped out of my spiral. Yoongi was kneeling beside the bed, his face was right in front of mine. He looked tired and I'm sure I was only adding on to his concerns. What an annoying and unhelpful girlfriend. He must be so hungry from the long night of work and you arent even out of the bed. He's probably going to take care of you now, he's going to ignore his exhaustion. Are you happy now?

"Love." His gentle voice breaks through my thoughts. "Let's go out today, hmm?"

His hand sneaks under the covers to intertwine our fingers but I pushed away.

"But you're tired, I'm not doing that. You need to rest and-"

He interrupted my rant "I'll be fine for a day, babe. I'm a big boy." He says puffing out his chest in an attempt to show me his muscles.

"I'm serious. I'm so incompetent as a human I don't even understand why you're here." I pull my hand away from his. He groans dramatically. Then he gets up and walks towards the closet.

A few minutes later he comes out changed into a black sweatshirt and some sweats. He smiled at me as he held up our identical black caps in one hand and one of his hoodies in another.

Dropping those items on the bed, he falls on top of me, "I'm here because I was promised chocolate chip pancakes." He gives me a peck on the nose. "Now come on get up."

"Right. The pancakes..."

"Don't worry, even though I love cooking for you I know it'll send you into a mental breakdown if I cook when I'm tired," He pulls me up into a sitting position "Even though I really want to." He drags my legs over the side of the bed. I let him change me into my hoodie as I sit there trying to understand why this man is doing stuff for me while I practically malfunction every week. How come he knows so much? Am I that transparent?

I feel cool hands cupping my cheeks. Startled, I look up at Yoongi to find him kneeling in front of me. The way he gazed at me made me feel like crying. "You know I love you right? Even when you're a little sad baby and even when you ugly-cry. I know you're having a hard time, so just let me take care of you, okay? I might go crazy if I don't, please."

I looked at him, tears threatening to spill. "Okay." I replied, trying not to cry. We looked at each other for a few moments; I sniffled. Pouting, he pulled me into his chest, "I'm here." He whispered, his rough voice calming me and refraining my spiralling thoughts.

"Can we go to that pancake place near the river?" I spoke up after a few seconds of stillness.

I felt his chest vibrate as he laughed silently, "Yes, of course. Where else would we go baby?" He kissed my forehead.

It's okay. I'm not fine but it's okay. He's here. Just don't think too much. I'm not alone anymore. I'm so lucky to have someone like him by my side.

Before we walked out the door, I stopped, "Yoonie..."

He stopped and turned to me, "Hmm?"

I grabbed his sweatshirt and pulled him in for a kiss. "Thank you. I love you." He grinned and kissed me once again, "I love you too. Now let's go get some pancakes!"