heartless :: matt espinosa

2.3

i may or may not post a new matthew espinosa fanfiction really soon. who would read it, if ever?

also, who would read a story idea book or adopt an idea if i ever posted a story idea book?

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2.3; just friends.

♡ leila anderson. ♡

Matthew wasn't beside me when I woke up, and I didn't hear anything coming from his washroom, so I'm assuming he was downstairs. I slowly hopped out of Matthew's bed, everything from last night coming into my mind: me almost getting raped, Matthew forcing me to sleep in his bed with him, and the kiss that started it all. I also remembered that Matthew wanted to tell me something before I walked away from him. I should have stayed to hear what he was going to say, because now I probably will never know.

To be honest, I was scared to go downstairs, because I don't know how Matthew is going to be today. Will he take back everything he said last night, before we fell asleep? Would he be completely rude to me like he always was? Matthew is full of surprises; I never know how he's going to be.

When I walked down the stairs, I took my time doing so just to delay me seeing Matthew, but I eventually reached the bottom and was forced to face him. I heard something in the kitchen, so I made my way over there. As expected, Matthew was there, and he was cooking some eggs.

"Good morning." I say while I entered the kitchen. Matthew jumped slightly and quickly turned to me, the panic look on his face disappearing when he realized it was just me.

"Yeah." he replied blankly, turning back to the stove and proceeding to cook his eggs. I creased my eyebrows in disappointment. I was disappointed because I now knew how Matthew was going to be today; he was going to be his regular self, and his regular self isn't really the best - as known already.

"Um...are some of those eggs for me?" I questioned tentatively.

Matthew chortled. "No."

His answer put me in disbelief, and I frowned, asking: "Can I borrow your phone then?"

"Why?"

"So I can call Isabel and ask her to pick me up, you douche bag." I spat at him, surprised at my own rage. I'm just pissed at Matthew for being the way he is. Last night he was so sincere and caring (most of last night), and today he's such an asshole.

Matthew stopped cooking his eggs and turned to me, the spatula still held in his hand. He scoffed. "I'm a douche bag? Are you seriously calling me that right now?" he asked, glaring into my eyes as he threw the spatula on the counter harshly. "I guess you don't seem to remember that I was the one who let you stay at my house for the night. And I was the one who helped you!"

"I never asked you to help me!" I retorted, raising my voice. If Matthew was going to raise his voice at me, then I'm going to raise my voice at him, too.

"Did you want to be left outside in the snow, Leila? Where that dude could have seen you again? Huh?" he pestered me with questions and I kept quiet, because he had a good point there. I never asked Matthew to help me last night, but I was glad that he did because I didn't want to stay outside to wait for my parents, where that dude, who was about to rape me, could have seen me there and continue what he didn't finish. "Exactly." Matthew smirked.

I rolled my eyes and lifted up my hand, opening it. "Just give me your phone. I'm so goddamn tired of your bullshit." My foul language surprised me even more, but now I was even more pissed than before, and it was reasonable for me to say these vulgar things.

Instead of giving me his phone, he just scoffed and narrowed his eyes at me. "My bullshit?" he repeated my words. I set my hand back down, knowing that he wouldn't just give me his phone. Instead, I'll waste my time arguing with this boy.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "You keep doing things and saying things that make me seem like you care and have changed, but then you do things or say things that prove that you don't. Make your damn mind up! Tell me now, Matthew, did you mean what you said last night to me before we fell asleep?"

Matthew stayed silent, as if he was pondering, but he didn't ponder for a long time. After a few seconds, Matthew shook his head slowly, a chuckle leaving his lips. "No." he answered. Not really a shocker to me. "You really are so naïve, Leila. Did you really think I changed...for you? I've said it before: people like me don't change - not even for a girl. I would never change for you. That kiss at the Christmas party and before we fell asleep should just be forgotten."

His words stung me in the heart, and I felt hurt. I wasn't hurt enough to shed a tear, but I was hurt. "So...I was correct when I said that I meant nothing to you?" I muttered, pursing my lip. Matthew hesitated, but he shook his head. Now that surprised me.

"You and I have been hanging out for a long time now, Leila, and I kinda realized something. You're not nothing to me, because I consider you as a...friend? I don't know if that's even the right term to explain our relationship, but whatever. You're not nothing to me, but you're not important - that's what I'm trying to say." he quickly said to me, like he was embarrassed to confess this to me. He turned back to the stove, picked the spatula that was on the counter, and continued cooking his egg - which was most probably overcooked on one side.

I didn't say anything back, because I was still processing Matthew's words in my brain. I mean something to him, but I wasn't someone important. He thinks of me as a friend, and that's it. I guess that's better than nothing, right? I convinced myself, and it worked. I just pushed away the memory of our kisses from last night and just pushed away the memory of what happened when I stormed out of the house (that argument we had). Matthew and I are in a new chapter now. "So...we're friends?" I asked, the side of my mouth twitching up so that I was smiling.

"Whatever." Matthew responded, shrugging and not looking at me, and I knew that that 'whatever' meant a yes.

"Yay! We're friends!" I exclaimed happily, running over to Matthew and hugging him from behind, causing him to tense up. I'm not sure why I was so happy that Matthew and I were friends, but I just was at the moment (maybe I was on my period).

Matthew cleared his throat. "Yeah, yeah, you may be happy, but stop hugging me." he demanded grimly and I let go of him quickly, muttering a 'sorry' and giggling. I walked so that I was beside him.

"Well then...since we're friends...give me some breakfast?" I asked, feeling even hungrier now. Matthew chuckled and picked up the plate of eggs beside him, handing it to me, not distracted from cooking the other egg.

"Don't eat it all." he warned as I took it out of his hands happily. I searched the drawers for a fork and sat back down on the counter stool when I found one.

As I ate the eggs, the 'argument' - if I should even call it that - of Matthew and I from a few minutes ago replayed through my mind, and all I could think was: what the heck? I mean, that argument was definitely not like the rest. This argument led from me wanting to go home, from bringing up what happened last night, to him telling me that he considered me as his friend. At the end of our past arguments, we'd end up hating each other more; at the end of this argument, we became friends.

Maybe it isn't Matthew who's always full of surprises. It's our relationship.

☆.｡.:*☆

what the heck did i just write this is ew. but i guess i have to live with it lol.

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thanks for reading, beauties. (✿◠‿◠)

xo, laura.