Together or apart

The beginning

I had just finished up with a mission in Alberta when I got the call.

He had an accident. Fury had called me himself. I had felt my heartbeat fasten as I pushed myself to ask about his condition.

He'll make it. Fury said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

Ending the call, I had forced myself not to cry. At least, not at work. I shook my head and gathered my stuff, once I was done, I touched the silver necklace to comfort myself that he's going to be okay. It held a picture of us, after a mission, with the bottle of Haig.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, deep breaths, Melinda. I reminded myself.

Please be okay, Phil.

———

I had reached at the hospital at around midnight, knowing he'd be sleeping, I had changed into comfortable civilian clothes on the flight here.

I pushed open the door and all my worries seemed to disappear at the sight. He was laying there, with a few scars, sure, but alive. I walked to the chair beside his bed and silently slid into it. I closed my eyes and softly rubbed my temple. The mission had went as expected, but, like every other mission with me in it, there had been casualties. Like me getting knocked out by a man twice my size because I didn't see him coming. It hurts, sure, but it always does, and I can take it.

That pain is love.

I reminded myself, even though I knew it was stupid. Something I made up to convince myself that all my past relationships were worth it. Even though, all of them wanted to control me.

The door opened and  I looked at a doctor standing in the room, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were here." He looked at Phil, "Are you his emergency contact?"

I bit my lip, "Yes." Or at least, I think so.

"Would you like me to brief you on his injuries?" I nodded, "Do you want to go in the hallway or stay here?"

I looked at Phil for a second, "Hall." I silently stood up and followed the doctor out of the room.

"He was unconscious when he was brought in." I nodded and he continued, "His knee is severely injured and he fractured his arm."

I nodded, "Thank you, Doctor,-?"

"Johnstone."

"Doctor Johnstone. When will he be discharged?"

"That'll depend on when he regains consciousness. He has been slipping in and out for the last three hours but never seemed to react to us." I nodded, "Is your name Melinda by any chance?"

"Yes, why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"That's all he has said since he came here. Your name." I nodded and thanked the doctor once more.

Settling back into the uncomfortable chair, I winced and closed my eyes as the hand rest bristled where the man had hit me. That is going to bruise. I know. But I can't leave Phil. Not when I am,-

"Melinda?" He croaked and I opened my eyes with the brightest smile.

I cautiously slipped my hand into his, "Hi." I whispered. I couldn't stop a single tear from slipping down my check.

"What are you doing here?"

I bit my lip, "You had an accident."

"I know, but, why are you her-," He looked down, "Oh."

"Turns out I'm your emergency contact." I softly said.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you before I wrote your name down on the form. But in my defence, you're the closest thing I have to a family."

I looked away, "Melinda?"

"Never do that to me again." A lump formed in my throat.

"Melinda?"

"You're my favourite person, don't. Do. That. Again. Please."

He squeezed my hand and I looked down.

"I'm pregnant." I spilled as another tear slid down, "and I'm sure it's yours." I whispered. I felt his grip on my hand tighten and I looked up at him with tearful eyes.

"You- are you sure?"

I bit my lip and nodded, "Three tests." I whispered and looked down, "You were my last."

"Oh."

"I'm gonna leave. Now that you're awake." I was about to grab my bag from the other chair.

"Stay." He whispered. I looked into his hopeful eyes.

"I- I can't, Phil." He gently pulled my hand towards him and I followed.

I winced as his hand looped around my waist. He stopped and looked up with worried eyes, "What's wrong?"

"I-,"

He reached out for my shirt and looked into my eyes, as if asking for permission, I bit my lip and nodded.

He gasped as he saw the bruise over the band of my pants. "You didn't go to the med bay." He softly stated.

I shook my head, "I didn't want to leave you." I looked up and pushed back tears.

"Get it checked. Please." I nodded.

"I will. Just," I looked at him, "Not right now." I cautiously laid beside him, knowing both our injuries. I pressed my head against his chest and broke down.

He rubbed my back and whispered soothing words to me.

"I don't know if we'll get through this." I whispered.

He kissed my head and instantly winced. I looked up at him with worried eyes.

He took a deep breath, "Just forgot about an injury."

I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. You're the one who almost died and I'm here adding to your worries. I should go now."

"You're pregnant." I nodded.

"And it's mine." I nodded again.

"I'm- I don't know - I'm not sure if I'm set up to be a father, Lin." He whispered.

"I don't think I can be a mother." I whispered back.

"Do you want to keep it?"

"Do I - Honestly?" My voice cracked, "I don't know."

"I'm sorry, Melinda - I - I think I need some time."

I felt a fraction of my heart crack, yet, I nodded.

I softly untangled myself from Phil's arms, "Melinda?"

"Hmm?" I busied myself by gathering the stuff that had fell out of my bag.

"I love you." He whispered.

I felt butterflies in my stomach - even though I always believed that the phrase was an exaggeration, there was no other explanation.

I looked up at him and nodded, "I know."

I walked to his bed and kissed his forehead, "Call me when you want. I'll be at my mother's. I really want my partner back."

He smiled, "Goodbye, Melinda."

"Bye, Phil."

                                       ————

I held the small stick between my two fingers. Pregnant.

Another test, same result.

We're having a baby. Together.