Hate to love you

Chapter 3

It’s hard to enjoy something when your heart is so full of anger and bitterness.

You watched Nina flit about your dress, making slight adjustments to your hair and jewelry, the pins that held your heavy garments in place. The colors were beautiful, yellow and a specific shade of green that all but represented a mehndi. You could feel the flowers that had been woven in your hair, looking down at the henna that adorned your hands.

Today, all these rituals were something you had looked forward to your entire life, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be happy. No amount of flowers, candles or henna could make you forget the anger and the gloom in your heart.

You could hear the laughter and voices in the hall your family had booked for your mehndi. In about five minutes, you would walk into the space, to join your soon-to-be husband on the stage built for the occasion, meeting relative after relative as they joyfully went through the rasms.

Once Nina was satisfied with the way you looked, she stepped back, giving you a smile. You managed to force a smile as well in response, though you could feel just how forced it was.

Nina was your stylist, and had been in charge of your looks for the three days of the wedding. She had spent a lot of time with you, your parents and Bucky’s parents, helping arrange outfits, jewelry, colors and whatnot. You had always known that weddings were long and complicated, but you had never guessed just how much work actually went into these events. Nina was the daughter of an old friend of your mother’s, and she was a stylist, so that made your parents’ job a whole lot easier. She was also a very cheerful person. The way she spoke was so bubbly that it actually made you feel excited at times.

That only lasted until you remembered who you were marrying.

You and Bucky had had minimal contact since your disastrous lunch ‘date’. Anything you two talked or texted about had something to do with the wedding itself. Other than that, it was like you didn’t exist to him and neither did he to you.

“Ready?” Nina’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you nodded, feeling your earrings shift, their weight pulling down on your earlobes. The scent of delicate white jasmines seemed to surround you, from where the little flowers were woven in your hair to where they were coiled around your wrists, like bracelets.

You wanted to be happy. Every girl dreamt of being a bride someday. So why did it feel like you were suffocating?

Everyone was looking at you when you walked into the hall, accompanied by Nina and a myriad of your cousins. Your mother hadn’t been the one to walk you to the stage, since she was on a wheelchair. For the past two weeks, her condition had mostly been deteriorating, but only on paper. In person, she was happier than she had probably ever been and you knew it was because of your wedding. She had been looking forward to this for years, much more so than you ever had.

You couldn’t help but dread what she would feel like once the wedding was over.

The thought left your mind when your eye caught hers, feeling your heart lurch as she smiled as you, a thin film of tears shining in her eyes. You couldn’t help but smile back, feeling a little bit of the load lift off your chest.

Bucky’s mother, a tall woman with a huge smile on her face, stood at the foot of the stage, posed to welcome you. Your eyes traveled up to the stage, watching as the man on the sofa stood up, standing tall and waiting for you to join him.