you are everything I wanted ( Aizawa Shota x Reader)

We're not kids. (fin) chapter 33

A few days have passed since the hospital and Aizawa has been on bed rest since. The doctors finally discharged him from bed rest and he texted me straight away asking to come over and just get out of that apartment of his.

For the past few weeks, there has been a pit in my stomach. I guess I ignored it for such a long time but today it just feels like this whole person is following me.

i have this feeling... this feeling like we're not ready and a feeling he knows it too.

Aizawa means everything to me so why do I feel like I'm not enough. Not just not enough for him but also not enough to truly experience and enjoy 'us'. the only way I feel like I can explain it is by being drunk. if you've eaten and drink water beforehand and during you get this loopy feeling but you feel like your stomach can handle it but if your body wasn't ready you still get 'drunk' but you also feel ill and full and overwhelmed.

well, I don't think we ate or drank water. We make each other feel good and it's a wonderful thing being with him but neither of us are ready.

Just the thought of Aizawa and I not being Aizawa and I anymore makes every bone in my body ache, but also the slightest bit of relief. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way I also feel like it was inevitable from the start.

My phone lit up cutting me off mid-thought.

'ill be there in 10' - Sleeping bag

I sat on my sofa and waited impatienty for him to arrive. He was perfectly on time. as usual

When I opened the door to him my worries and doubts didn't wash away like they usually did but fear of how badly this was going to hurt did.

He took one look at my facial expression and knew.

He walked in without exchanging any words and took me into a protecting hug as I pushed my face into his shirt and cried. We both knew.

after what felt like no time at all we finally decided it was time.

"Hi"

"Hi" i finally replied, looking at him once I was ready.

He opened his mouth to speak but swallowed his words before stopping to think. "God I wish we were right..."

I cut in "but we're not... not right now."

"Y/N..." Aizawa said taking my hands in his. "You are everything I have ever wanted and no one will ever replace you. But I'm not ready to have everything right now.' he took my hand and curled his pinky with mine. 'I promise, we will happen... and this time we will be ready"

I laughed as his pinky completely engulfed mine... "you've never.... a pinky promise? you've been spending way too much time with those kids"

He grinned that grin of his and lifted our hands to his face before kissing his side. I did the same. we stared into each other's deep eyes, seeing something we know no one else would ever be able to see.

"Any idea how long it's going to take?" I laughed trying to hold back the tears

He smiled and kissed my forehead. His warmth spread through my whole face.

" I have no idea" he chuckled against my forehead "I hope to god it's not too long cause I don't know how long I can go without kissing this forehead"

I couldn't help but smile. At such a horrible time, at a time that hurts more than I've ever hurt before. I couldn't help but... smile.

"If you knew the outcome would you still choose to fall for me again?" i couldn't help but ask.

"Falling for you wasn't a choice. The second I laid eyes on you at that bar it was over. But the truth is I'd rather go blind than do this again because I know what I'm about to experience, being away from you, is going to be the worst pain I will ever experience and yet I also know I have to do it because when we do this again, and we will, I want it to be just right"

He ran his calloused hand along my jaw, for the first time i really could feel the contradiction of my unscathed cheek and his brutal fingers.

"I love you" I felt butterflies in my stomach. The same way I did the very first time I said it to him.

"I love you"

We looked in the mirror hanging on the wall across from us. Without a doubt in my mind I knew this man was the one. The only one. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear trying to remember every detail of his face before kissing him. We kissed like this was the only thing keeping us alive and I guess in some way it really was the last thing keeping 'US' alive.

But the inevitable happened. Our lips parted. And it was over. He opened the door and walked out of my life.

-------------------------------

5yrs later

I struggle with my shopping bags into the new apartment.

'When are they gonna fix the elevator I'm on the god damn tenth floor!' I raged to an empty apartment as sweat dripped down my temples.

i drop the bags on the kitchen counter before seeing the red lines across my hand.

Choosing to unload the bags later I took out my phone to thoroughly procrastinate. I scrolled through the few notifications on my phone before reading the notification from my news app.

'LEAKED PICTURES OF ERASURE HEAD's WEDDING. Who is this mysterious woman?'

Acting on muscle memory alone I scrolled to find Aizawa's contact and began to type.

'...'

What am I doing... i glanced at the engagement ring on my finger.

what am i doing... why did i just...

'ring ring' the electronic doorbell from the Appartement sounded.

I looked through the peephole and immediately recognized the face before opening the door.

'We move in a month ago and you've already lost your key, what am I going to do with you Hizashi Yamada'

I guess pinky promises really are just for kids huh, Aizawa?

Fin