You were welcomed into your house by your sleepy mom who had barely noticed you'd been gone for nearly two days.
"Hey." You said softly.
"Y/n." Your mom yawned. "Baby, what are you doing? It's five in the morning. Come inside, come inside." She ushered you into the house with a warm hand on your back.
You felt numb in some way. You wanted to go back in time and agree. You wanted to run away with your forest boy, with Nishimura Riki, and get to know him as a person better than you did. You wanted to be able to make him laugh and smile like that once nearly ten minutes ago.
This felt like cheating, this felt like some weird one night stand like in movies. You never liked those kinds of things. It never made sense, but now, here you were. You'd kissed him, and you'd rejected him. You wanted to go to your room and scream into your pillow, but you had to play nice for your sleeping family and barely awake mom.
You sat down at the kitchen island and laid your cheek down on the cold stone. Your mom brushed the hair out of your eyes and pressed a kiss to your temple. "Are you okay?" She asked you.
You buried your face in your arms and muttered a no that she couldn't hear. She squeezed you up in a short hug before pulling you off of the bar stool. "Come on. Let's get you to bed." Your mom said softly.
You nodded and let her pull you up the stairs. You'd kicked off your shoes at the door and the carpeted stairs were rough on your bare feet. You didn't care too much; you were still turning your life choices over and over in your head.
When you reached your room, your mom led you to your bed and sat you down. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked you softly. You shook your head. "It's nothing. You must be tired, you can go to sleep."
Your mom laughed lightly. "Yeah, I'm tired. Good night baby." She murmured. You waited for her to leave and for her footsteps to recede before getting up to lock the door. You were too tired to take a bath and your legs had started to ache from all the running you'd done.
When you were taking off your clothes to change into a fresh pair of pajamas, something fell out of your pocket and onto the ground. You bent down to pick it up and lifted it to inspect it in the dim light. It was the shiny pink wrappered candy Riki had given you on the train.
You let out a soft breath and shuffled over to put it on your little nightstand before pulling on your pajamas and kicking the clothes you'd worn into your wash pile. You fumbled with the edge of your sheets before crawling underneath and curling yourself up into a fetal position.
You couldn't sleep no matter how hard you tried.
Eventually, you gave up and sat up in bed. Outside your window, you could see the sun peeking above the horizon, and little rays of light falling through your blinds onto the edge of your bed.
You shifted your gaze over to your nightstand and pulled open the drawer to get a black pen and your journal. The journal was a gift from your birthday, and it was completely blank and unused. You opened up to the first page, unsure of what to do.
You glanced at the candy and moistened your lips. You set down the journal and pen on your lap, leaning over to get the candy. You picked it up in your fingers and held it for a moment before twisting the ends of the wrapper to open it.
You took out the small caramel and placed it in your mouth. You closed your eyes and let out a soft sigh. Perfectly sweet.
You opened your eyes again and flattened out the shiny pink wrapper. You opened up the journal again and leaned over to search for something in your drawer. Your hands met the object and you pulled out your small blue tape dispenser.
Ignoring the first and flipping to the second page, you spread the wrapper flat and taped it onto the page. You sucked on the candy still melting in your mouth and hummed. You picked up your pen and clicked it, putting it down to your page.
Some part of you was confused, and some part of you wanted to cry. First, you wrote the date at the top of the page. Then, you let your thoughts spill onto the page through your fingertips.
- the wrapper for this candy is so pretty.
- shiny pink and holographic
- it tastes perfect.
- the candy looks like a caramel and melts on my tongue.
- it tastes a little bit like a caramel too, but at the same time a little like chocolate .
- it isn't too sweet and it isn't not sweet enough either.
- i got this candy from a boy named nishimura riki.
- mom once told me that teenagers make impulsive mistakes.
- i'm not sure whether or not he was a mistake.
- i've known him for two days..
- he's gone now, but i kissed him.
- like mom said, it was an impulse.
- he lives in the forest with his sisters.
- it sounds weird put that way but he lives in this cute little cottage his parents built.
- i got lost and he found me.
- he also took care of me for the time being.
- i found myself getting close to him faster than i've gotten to anyone else,
- but there's still so much i don't know about him.
- all i know for now is that he has so many little beauty marks
- and his lips are soft and taste like gumdrops.
- and he has a sweet low laugh
- and his voice is low too.
- he has skin so perfect and smooth like a porcelain doll
- and he asked me..if we could get lost in candy land.
- he asked me that because i compared his forest to a candy land.
- i really do want to go with him.
- i kind of want to run away with him,
- even though he's barely more than a stranger.
- i rejected his offer, regardless of how sweet it was.
- i don't know whether yes or no was the better choice.
