Love is Pain

Anger and Sadness

Veronica's POV

"This is the worst place you could've taken me," I said as we all climbed into a booth at Pop's diner.

"Well, this is the one place you would complain the least about," Cheryl said. I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you sitting next to me?" I asked her.

"So you don't try and run away," she smiled at me.

"You wouldn't let me get even five feet from the door before you got me back here anyway,"

"Well, let's just order milkshakes and maybe some fries and then we can leave," I nodded and sighed. Then my phone buzzed.

"Do not look at it!" Toni said.

"It couldn't possibly be her," I said.

"Really? It couldn't?" I sighed.

"Fine," I said and she grabbed my phone and put it in her pocket. "When I said fine that's not what I meant."

"Well, that's what I heard. I don't want you texting her anymore,"

"We don't text as often anymore," she gave me a look. "It's only like once every few days I guess,"

"Is that true?"

"No, it's more like every few hours. I'm surprised you don't know this. She's your best friend. I'd think you'd already know all of this." 

"Well, you're my friend too. I need you to get better."

"And what about her?" I asked. She never answered.

Just then the bell went off signaling someone came in or left. I was too busy in my own head to even think about looking. That's the only thing that I could do. It's the easiest thing to do. I finally snapped out of it and looked at Toni. She was looking at Cheryl and they both had a slightly worried look on their faces.

"Why the hell do the two of you look like that?" I asked. They both looked at me.

"Um, it's nothing. We're just wondering where our milkshakes are, that's all." Cheryl said. I looked back to see what was happening and my heart stopped. They weren't trying to figure out what was happening with our order. Betty and Archie walked in. I felt my eyes start filling up with tears.

"Veronica, are you okay?" I heard Toni say. I blinked away the tears and looked back at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's like you guys said. I'll get over her eventually and I won't do that sitting in my room." It went quiet between us. "I need some air." Cheryl just looked at me. "Please, just five minutes. I'm not trying to run away." She looked at Toni who nodded. She sighed and let me out of the booth. I quickly walked outside.

The moment I stepped outside and felt the cold air against my face and fill my lungs I felt a little bit better. This is exactly what I needed. I smiled a little and this time it didn't feel so forced. I leaned against the building and just stood there with my eyes closed. Leaving the house was both a good and bad thing. Bad because I saw Betty but good because I needed the fresh air. It felt nice. 

After a few more minutes I heard the bells go off so I figured it was Cheryl coming to find me and make sure that I didn't runoff. I didn't open my eyes or say anything because I didn't care what she wanted.

"Cheryl, whatever it is go away. I'm okay right here."

"I'm not Cheryl," I froze for a second. Why is she talking to me? And why in person? I sighed and looked at Betty.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Well, I saw you run outside. I started to get worried." I scoffed. "I know it seems like I don't care but I do. We've been best friends for years. I wasn't just gonna stop caring about you."

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Pretending like nothing ever happened. That you never left. Like you never hurt me."

She sighed. "I figured you wouldn't want to talk about it. I thought that you'd be ignoring it too."

"I tried. I tried to ignore the fact that you hurt me. That you broke my heart. I did that by saying we could still be friends. I knew you were still gonna text me but texting me constantly, having conversations as we used to. Never-ending conversations. I thought you would text me when you needed me or when you were going through something. Not text me and pretend nothing ever happened."

"I wasn't pretending nothing ever happened. I trying to avoid it and distract you so you wouldn't think about it,"

"Well, it didn't work! The more you texted me the worse I felt. Half the time I could barely keep it together when you texted me." I started tearing up. "But I only responded because you gave me hope. You gave me the hope that we could happen again. When you said maybe we could try again I knew I was fucked. You've known me for four years did you think I was gonna see that and not wait for you. Not wait for you to get better? I thought there was hope when you started flirting with me again. And then so much happened and then you hurt me again. I started thinking more. That's all I've been able to do. Think. I've been thinking about you. About us the most. B I've had so much time to do that. You hurt me. Twice," At this point, tears were streaming down my face. "You broke my heart. Then you gave me false hope. You went through our entire relationship saying how I was gonna be the one to leave you and in the end, you ended up leaving me. You made me so happy. I was the happiest I had ever been with you. I was willing to wait and help you get better so we could be happy again. What happened to me making you happy? You said that so much towards the end what happened to that? Were you just lying to me? Was it all fake? I can't help but think that it was! That you treated me like all the girls before me. And I was jealous of them. All the girls that you talked to before for some reason I was jealous of them. Sometimes I would think about them and cry and other times I would think about them and want to hurt someone. Now all I can think about is feeling bad about the next girl who falls for you. I wish that girl luck and hopefully, she gets someone who is good for her, be happy and not lie about it. I hope you can figure yourself out and get your shit together so you don't hurt another as you hurt me. Oh, and I'm gonna want my hoodie back. It's mine." I sighed and ran off. I felt so angry and sad.

I practically ran all the way home. I didn't stop for anything. I just ran until I got home. By the time I got there, I rushed inside and leaned against the door. That's when I completely broke. I just started bawling and I fell to the floor. I heard my mom's voice I didn't hear what she said. Then I felt her arms wrap around me and I just leaned into her. I started calming down a little bit.

"Veronica, what happened?"

"I saw her and I couldn't hold my feelings in anymore. I snapped." I said and more tears came streaming down my face.

"Okay, okay." She said and just held me again. What did I do to deserve this?