Finnick Odair's best friend

Chapter 17: Fallen Mask

A/N Just quickly before this chapter begins, this is the original chapter 12 that i posted accidently without even realising it was the wrong chapter so if you read chapter 12 when it was called "Fallen Mask" this is the same chapter :)

TW: suicidal thought please don't read if this triggers you, I will write down where it starts and when it ends.

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey,"

Was this what Willow had seen before she was sent into the arena? Too late for that, Snow made sure of it. Was I in the same position, just waiting to be slaughtered. I let out a dry, empty laugh as I thought about it.

"You'll never know dear,

How much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away."

What were the chances that I was going to win. A small 12 year old kid against 23 other people, some of which would kill me before the games even started if they could. The cool breeze made my hair gently sway behind me, sending goosebumps down my back as I carried on thinking.

"The other night dear,

As I lay sleeping,

I dreamt I held you,

In my arms,

And now that you're here,

My dreams are waking ,

And I will keep you from all harm."

TW: suicidal thoughts

Wouldn't it be easier to just jump. To just jump and end the suffering I had gone through for 9 years. Why should I give the capitol what they want. Why should I let them have their own way like always. I still don't have a choice in the matter. I thought bitterly. I knew there was a force field around their tribute center to stop people doing exactly what I wanted to do.

"You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey,"

Even so, I didn't stop thinking about how much better it could be if I just jumped, I could join my family again, I would be rid of Snow and I wouldn't have to go into the games.

"You'll never know dear,

How much I love you,

But please don't take my sunshine away."

I stopped singing and thought, Wouldn't it just be so much easier if I could just...

"I hope you're not thinking of jumping." A deep voice interrupted my thoughts. I was too tired to distinguish who it was, let alone put my mask back up, again.

"How could you tell." I said monotonically.

"Just a hunch. Now," the person stood next to me then carried on. "Why is a great young girl like yourself thinking about something as dark and foreboding as that?" They asked in an ever so slightly seductive voice, one which was now easy to place. Finnick Odair.

"Don't worry. It's nothing." I really didn't have the energy to keep my mask up, I barely had enough to keep talking.

TW over you can keep reading

I wiped my nose then got up and started walking back towards the lift entrance. I didn't make it very far however because a pair of strong arms stopped me.

"No no, it's obviously not nothing because this isn't the positive girl I've come to know like at the parade." His voice was calm and commanding.

"Honestly I'm fine, just a bit nervous."

"I've been nervous too many times to count, this isn't just nerves. Something else is bothering you and I'm not letting you go until I know."

"Since when does Finnick Odair, the Capitol darling get nervous?" I question, trying to shift the topic of conversation. Funnily enough it wasn't something I really wanted to discuss.

"Since a long time ago, and don't change the subject please because this is about you not me."

I looked out into the night once again, a slight breeze caressing my skin while the air seemed to get colder and colder.

"I don't want to let Snow win, to just become some pawn in their stupid game. If I were to die now, it would probably end up better than being mauled by one of their mutts."

"Even if you could die now then you really can't go home. You prepare yourself right and you might really have a shot of going back home." He sat close to the edge of the balcony, motioning for me to come and join him.

"I wouldn't really be going back to much. Maybe a couple people but my thoughts are best friend back there. On the nights where I don't sleep it's all I have."

"How come you don't sleep?"

"A few reasons, but sometimes it's the screams."

"Screams?"

"I live close to victors village." I didn't need to say anything else for Finnick to understand. "What Snow has done is so cruel, and I want nothing to do with it, I don't think anyone does. And yet here we are." I finished my rant with a defeated sigh.

A/N Sorry for a bit of shorter chapter, didn't have much time to write this one.Thanks for reading and I really hope you enjoyed! 

Bai for now,

hellomygoodfriend xxx