𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 | 𝐊𝐕

13

Two days later.

Kaisyn parked her car on the side of the road, turning it off, and taking a deep breath.

She'd spent the last two days with Trevor, but this was something that she wanted to do by herself.

She'd thrown all her pills away, got her system cleaned, and she was deciding to sit weed to the side for a little bit too.

She wanted to be clean in all aspects. She wanted her soul, her mind, her body, all of it-to be cleansed. She wanted to refresh.

Kaisyn stepped out of her car, holding a marble colored heart shaped urn that contained her brothers ashes.

She walked over to the lake, unfolding her chair that she brought, sitting it in the water, and then sitting down.

She looked out at the water, seeing small minnows swimming a few feet away from her, water softly crashing against the rocks.

The air felt crisp, flowing through her body as a slight breeze pulled against her face. Her toes rested in the semi cold water, and she blew out a breath.

Kaisyn looked down at the urn, rubbing over Jaisyn's name that was imprinted on the surface.

"I can't hold on to you anymore baby." She mumbled, tears clouding her vision as she held the heart close to her.

"Jaisyn I love you so much. I missed you so fucking bad man. I miss my twin flame." She sniffed, letting the tears fall, not caring to wipe them.

"Everyday, I wonder what life would be like if I still had you with me. If I would've never asked for wings that day, or just held you home for just a little bit longer."

"I think about the last hug you gave me, all the time. I wanna feel that again. I want another kiss on my forehead, I wanna hear you rushing me out the shower before all the hot water leave, our broke asses." She chuckled, sniffing.

"I just want you back. Ain't nobody out here like you Jaisyn. I keep trying to find you in everybody else, and I realize now, that I have to stop that. I gotta let you go baby."

"You won't ever come back to me, and there will never ever be anybody like you. I have to stop judging people, and pushing them away from me because they aren't you."

"Jai i-why couldn't you make it that day? Why you let them niggas get up with you twin? I should've went with you man. I should've been there for you." Her voice cracked, and she looked out into the water.

"You lied to me Syn. You told me you was gone be with me forever. You said you would never let no pussy take you out, because you had to make it home to me every day. You told me that I would never be alo-you fucking lied to me!" She cried, beginning to sob, not even attempting to silence her cries.

"It was me and you Jai. It was just us, and you left me. You promised me. You fucking promised!" She sobbed, covering her face as her breathing labored.

"Aw my baby man. I let them niggas take you from me man, fuck. I just want you back. I ain't never felt a pain so bad Jai. I want it to go away. Just-come get me baby please. I want you so bad. I just wanna be with you, please. Oh my god, please." She exhaled air, her cries short.

"I'm so sorry Jaisyn. We was supposed to have each other, and I wasn't there for you. You needed me, and I wasn't there. I'm so sorry. I wanna do it all over again baby, I'm here. I promise I'm right here Jaisyn please." She cried, her body vibrating with each cry she let out.

"I miss being okay. When the lights was off, we ain't have no food, no water, but we had each other. And we was okay Jaisyn. You still had that fat ass smile on your face, just cold and hungry." She laughed, wiping her face.