A Most Grotesque Display (jobros x fem!reader circus au)

14| Hermes' Wax Wings

Hermes has a history of flying too close to the sun, teasing fate with her doom. This was one of those times, as some might've guessed.

The ring of scars around both her arms refused to settle, a stinging reminder of what happens when you gamble with your life a little too much, a little too long. She'd think they'd be pretty cool if they were made under better terms, so she could have an epic tale to go along with them, but beggars can't be choosers.

The large wooden doll that sat limply in the pit of her crossed legs mocked her with its smooth, carved face, the embodiment of guilt before her spilling regret from its severed arm. Her, the reason it had to be broken, and it, the only thing they had left to remember their friend by.

Because of her impotence, her negligence for her own safety, because of her desire to feel the burn of the sun on her back, this is what awaited her when she finally fell into the ocean with melted wings.

Perhaps this is why she'd take it upon herself to create a new arm for it. 

Having never been a wood-worker, or anything close to creative, the recreation of the arm would prove to be more difficult than originally anticipated. Carving, stringing, breaking the arm, carving another one... It was no wonder she'd find Kakyoin awake at ungodly hours of the night, hunched over his bed with a blunt chisel and wood shavings sprinkled along his blankets.

Maybe if she was more careful when going out that day, this wouldn't have happened-- Bucciarati and (Y/n) wouldn't have gotten into a fight, they wouldn't have had to break Kakyoin's puppet, she wouldn't have had to make a new arm...

Granted, it was not her responsibility, but shouldn't you feel obligated to fix something you've broken?

When you break something, you fix it, that's the rule. Therefore, she has no reason to complain about her nearly bleeding fingers, or numbing arms. When she breaks something, she's going to fix it.

It had to be fifth block she'd tried her luck with, the other attempts at creating the arm having failed in one way or another, when she felt a presence at her door. Looking up, she was surprised to find Caesar leaning against the frame, a folder in his hand and a sloppy smile on his face.

"Still working on it, I see?" He asks, head shifting to the side as he eyed the half-carved block.

"Yeah, not gonna give up yet. Bruno and (Y/n) had just gotten on good terms, and I ended up making them fight again, so the least I could do is fix what I broke."

"Correction: the fight started because Bruno caught her hiding Kakyoin's doll under her bed, something to rightfully be mad about, and got angry. You are at no fault because (Y/n) decided to do something without the consent of others."

Hermes let her gaze drop back down to the broken skin on her fingers, torn, stinging, and raw, wondering if that was true. Wasn't she at least partially to blame because of her insolence?

Her visitor seemed to pick up on her thought process, or at least, knew that she didn't believe him fully and continued to speak. "Don't burden yourself because of something others had done. You didn't choose to get your arms cut off."

Caesar held out the packet in his hand, which swayed from its own gaudy weight. She could already make out Okuyasu's undeveloped handwriting from where she sat, large scribbles that take hours to decipher.

"There's a new costume Oku wants you to try for our next show. He's afraid your current winter themed one may have gotten small, or wont fit in this time."

"Is he doing something different for this years theme?" Hermes questioned, setting her useless chisel to the side. 

"Yeah, no Winter-Wonderland; It's The Nutcracker this time."

"Christ- don't tell me we're doing some bullshit dancing."

"Thankfully, no. But you will still have a role to play in the vague story he has planned. It's a tie between you and Yasuho, who gets to play the girl that partners with the nutcracker."

"Alright," She paused, "And who's the nutcracker going to be?"

"That has also not been decided. Could be (Y/n), could be Bucciarati, might even be Speedy." Caesar sighed. "We'll know in a few days, probably sooner, when Okuyasu is done tailoring (Y/n)s suit."

Every few of years, the circus changes its theme for each seasonal performance. For the longest time, winter has always been 'Winter Wonderland' themed. All the clowns and performers would be in blue and white, and, well, have the performances themed similarly. 

It's been a touchy subject, The Nutcracker, because that was the last winter performance they'd had before Bruno was caught, and the circus became a dull space. Doing this act again, Hermes feared, would bring up bad memories, and throw everyone back to square one.

"What about (Y/n)," She finally asked. "Is she ok with this? Is Bruno alright with it? I mean, what if something happens?"

"And what would happen, Hermes?"

She opened her mouth to speak, unsurprised to find nothing would come out, her words caught in her throat when she finally understood the look Caesar had given her. What would happen? Bruno and (Y/n) aren't back together, Okuyasu already seems to be aware of how uncomfortable it could make everyone given the ex-lovers were paired for the performance, seeing how he's considering others for the main roles..

"In terms of awkwardness, they've both agreed to keep personal business away from actual business, and that if they were to perform together, they'll do their best as usual." Caesar huffed, tossing the pound of papers onto her desk. "I mean, it's starting to look like miss magic has finally gotten around to warming up to Bruno again, so it might not be as bad as you think."

"Maybe. I just can't help but feel like something will happen, and everything will go wrong."

"That's a possibility every time we go out there, don't start worrying about it now because reality's finally caught up to you. It'll be fine." He turns to leave, already two feet out the door, when he spins around again with a snap. "Oh, also, Avdol was going to head to the ball-thingy they have going on in the upcoming town with a couple of others, if you wanted to come?"

"Is (Y/n) going?"

"Yeah, pretty sure."

"Then I'll go." The chisel gets picked up once again, and the chipping away at the hardwood resumes ust as before. "Someone needs to keep an eye on her is there's going to be drinks."

"Alright, I'll let him know you're going. Don't forget to look through the packet and tell Okuyasu what you think of the designs."

"Got it. Go have fun with whatever it is you're doing."

"Right, you too."

Next Chapter: Glass slippers at the ball, and a stranger at a friends grave

(So sorry for making an update so late! So much has happened, I'd nearly forgotten I had this fic in my library! Forgive me!)