Gloves And Us ✔

S H A M I N G

"I was thinking-" caro started.

"You think?" I interrupted and got a glare in return making me laugh at my own stupid joke.

"Sorry. Continue" he nodded.

"that maybe let Esmee and her friends come home and then you can enjoy with them. It will be just y'all" I stopped. I knew he didn't like telling people about his life or showing them. He was reserved to the people and he was adjusting because of me. What good have I done to have him in my life?

"Caro-" before I could utter he interjected.

"Oh god, don't start with anything and please- fuck, shit. Don't cry amor. Why are you crying silly? fuck me" he groaned making me sniffle.

"I just I- thank you. Thank you soo soo much." Never for once has anybody thought about me like this after mum's death.

"Aww, baby. It's nothing. You don't need to thank me. Come on, gimme a nice warm hug with a big fat smile" he said, motioning me with his hands and I gladly complied.

"I was thinking of continuing the therapy?" Since I had stopped it because of my inner turmoil it was really overwhelming me.

"Only if you don't stop it mid-way," he said and I nodded. "Promise"

"Okay then. I'll let her know, hmm?"

"hmm"

"Avaha, Caroline has called for a meeting" A blonde man came up in my office and I nodded. "I'll be there in a few, thank you" He left and I turned to Silas who was now working on his laptop.

"I'll go," he nodded. Taking some of the important files, I left for the meeting.

Silas has acted strangely since the hospital incident. He has been more distant and never talks much. Doesn't call me monkey, just nods to anything. Was I irritating him? The chain of my thoughts was broken when Naomi stumbled into me making all the files drop.

"Oh-I'm" she stopped and smirked. "Sorry. Let me help" I shook my head, "No thanks" and collected the papers.

"You look different. Oh yeah, look at your stomach protruding, looking ugly and those thighs, damn those thighs! One piece of advice- men don't like women like you. Fatso" she smirked patting my arm, turning to catch up with other employees.

F-fat? I had recently gained weight and didn't even realize it. He won't like me if I gain weight, but he hasn't even said anything like that, but maybe Caro will get tired of me eventually. Nobody wants a problematic person in their life. People have enough problems than to deal with another.

"Esmee," I said as I picked up the call. I didn't really wanna be a burden on both the siblings. I needed to control my emotions and myself. What if he leaves me because I am too heavy and a crybaby?

"Hello, Campbell. When are we meeting up again?" I clutched the spoon in my hand tightly.

"umm, how ab-about you set up the meet at caro's place? He said it's fine" I said looking down at the lunchbox he had prepared.
I need to eat less. I need to lose weight. I don't want to be fat.

"Ok, I'll let you know once they agree."

"okay" she bid me byee and hung up.

Now it was a fight to eat lunch. I had lost my appetite and I wasn't ready to throw it in a bin. No way was the lunch going there.

"Silas" I called out and he turned his chair facing me.

"Will you eat my lunch? I already had something during the meeting" such a good liar.

"I'll eat later" he nodded firmly and turned back to continue his work. I squealed in my head and smiled like a crazy woman. Yipee! If I just skip meals, then I'd lose weight and I'd be less heavy. and those thighs will be slim too.

I was working on some of the designs when Esmee called me again. "Camp, they'll be at your place. When are you free?" Suddenly I was feeling all too overwhelmed and the urge to cry just increased. Taking a deep breath, I replied. "Saturday?" Which was tomorrow. What even? I needed time to prep myself and without thinking my stupid stupid brain said saturday? Oh god!

"Okay sure. Byee" I hope things go well tomorrow.

Caro came to pick me up and I informed him about the 'meet'.

"Are you sure, Avha? I don't want you to get overwhelmed or anything. Take your time, baby" he said, rubbing circles on my thigh and gripping the wheel tighter in his other hand. I could see the lines forming on his forehead.

"I want to do this" He nodded and I held his hand in mine, kissing it. "Don't worry," I whispered.

**

It was already the day. Esmee had come early with everything prepared. She had brought the wine and beer. Slowly her 4 friends came and we were now sitting on the floor watching some romantic movies. They all have been gushing about the actors, but since I had no clue about them and I wasn't interested in the movies, I kept quiet.

Kat and Kris were the twins and they were the same. Everything about them spoke of lavishness and extrovert. Aurora was that red hair who kept eyeing me and the room upstairs. Athena was in the middle of it all. She was enjoying everything silently, not much of a talker, more of an observer.

"So, Avaha. Tell us about yourself" Kris smiled and sipped the fourth glass of wine.

"I work as a fashion designer" what else was I supposed to say? This sentence was crammed in my head.

"That's pretty cool. We'd love to see your designs one day" Kat gushed and sipped her beer. I politely smiled and looked down at my sprite glass.

"You sure about it kat?" Aurora's voice echoed. I looked up at her and she continued. "I mean she's still learning. She won't reach your mother's place any day" she chuckled and ate the Doritos.

"Of Course not. I'm not trying to be anybody. I'm still learning." I smiled at her and she glared in return.

"Her mother is the world's best designer- April Scott" my eyes fell open and I realized who she was. That woman was one amazing person. She had been in this industry for the past 30 years and thousands of her interviews have been floating around, inspiring others like me. Esmee interjected and I caught a smirk on Aurora's face.

"Let's watch movies, guys," she said and I excused myself to get my cookies.

"You are Carwyns?" Aurora asked.

"Nobody likes fatty women. Look at us. None of us are as fat as you. Does he even pick you up? Is the poor guy okay?" she chuckled and took the cocktails Esmee had brought and left.

I kept those cookies back in their cabinet and went back where they were sitting.

The whole of the day passed like this. And now I had two people calling me fat. Which meant I was not good enough.

We watched a lot of movies and played cards. Things were going pretty good, except her.

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YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

thoughts?

Take care of yourselves and smileeeee

~LT