Always

Chapter 23

Katniss P.O.V.

I don't know how long I've been laying here. I want to cry, but the tears won't come. I finally hear footsteps outside the door. Peeta walks in and comes over to the bed. I get ready to say something, but instead of climbing into bed, Peeta picks up his pillow. He walks over to the closet, grabs a blanket, and heads back out the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask as I prop myself up on my elbows. Peeta stops dead in his tracks, but he doesn't turn around.

"Downstairs to sleep on the couch," Peeta replies flatly.

"Peeta, I'm sorry," I blurt out. "I didn't mean too..."

"No, Katniss I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you," Peeta says softly. He still isn't looking at me.

"Please, stay," I whisper. But instead of getting my usual response, Peeta shocks me.

"Not now Katniss," Peeta says in an uneasy voice. Even though it's dark, that's when I notice that he's shaking. I stand up and turn my bedside lamp on. I walk over to him and notice that his breathing is abnormal.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I ask as I walk up beside of him. I try to look at his face, but he turns his head.

"Katniss, don't look at me right now," Peeta says gently. I cup his chin with my hand and turn it towards me while I reach my free hand towards the wall and turn the bedroom light on. When I finally see Peeta's face, I can't believe what I'm seeing.

I gasp, cover my mouth with my left hand, and step back away from Peeta. He turns around to face me, and I get a better look at his eyes. One is blue, and the other is black.

"Katniss, what's happening to me?" Peeta asks as tears flow down his face. "It's like I'm having some kind of battle going on inside of me." I step closer to him and hold his face so he'll look at me.

"We'll go to the Capitol now," I say calmly.

"Okay," Peeta replies. "But only if..."

"Yes, Haymitch can go too," I say impatiently. "You go call him and tell him to meet us at the next train. It should be here in about an hour. I'll go pack our stuff." Peeta nods his head and leaves to go call Haymitch.

After I get everything packed, I take all our stuff downstairs. When I turn around, I see Peeta sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I go and sit down next to him and place a hand in his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" I ask him softly. He nods his head. "You want to talk about it?"

"No," Peeta says as he shakes his head. "Maybe later. Right now we need to go." Peeta stands up and offers me a hand. I smile and gladly accept his kind gesture. If I make a wrong move now, who knows what could happen?

We walk out the door and start towards the train station. When we pass Haymitch's house, Peeta stops walking.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I turn around and set our bags down.

"We need to make sure Haymitch is coming," Peeta replies.

"We don't have time," I say with urgency in my voice.

"But Katniss, you promised..." Peeta begins.

"I know what I promised, but we don't have time!" I say loudly. I turn around to pick up our bags, and that's when my face makes contact with the ground.

I know immediately that Peeta is having a flashback. He flips me over and uses his feet to pin my hands down. He puts both of his hands on either side of my head and leans his face down so it's extremely close to mine. I look up into his eyes to find that both of them are now black.

"Peeta, fight it," I beg.

"Don't tell me what to do you stupid mutt!" Peeta yells as he roughly shakes my shoulders. "You lied to me didn't you?"

"No, I promise I didn't Peeta," I say.

"Yes you did! You're nothing but a lying mutt!" Peeta yells as he raises his hand. I brace myself for his hand to make contact with my face, but it never does. Instead, someone grabs Peeta by the wrist and pulls him off of me. I know it could only be one person. Haymitch!

"Katniss go on to the train," Haymitch says as he struggles to keep Peeta restrained. I go to pick up our stuff, but Haymitch's voice stops me. "Katniss don't worry about it. I'll bring everything to the train in a minute, just go!" I follow Haymitch's orders and take off running towards the station.

When I get there, the train is there and waiting for us. I go off somewhere and hide in a random corner to wait. Within minutes, I hear Peeta screaming something about me and mutts. This brings tears to my eyes.

I wipe my eyes and look at the pearl on my wedding ring. The same pearl that Peeta have to me in the second Games. The same pearl that was my hope when I was in District 13 and Peeta was off in the Capitol. That's what it feels like when Peeta goes into mutt mode. It feels like he's a million miles away from me. Unreachable. And it kills me to know that's there's nothing I can do about it.

I just hope we're not too late for Peeta to get that antidote.

I sit in my corner and wait until I hear Haymitch calling for me. I go to the main compartment and find Haymitch sitting on a couch. I sit down in a chair in front of him. He looks up at me and shakes his head.

"I didn't know he was this bad," Haymitch says. "I mean I could tell over the phone that it was bad, but I didn't imagine it being like this." I look at my shoes and nod my head. "What happened anyways?" Haymitch asks.

"Me and Peeta kind of got into a little argument," I begin to say.

"About what?" Haymitch questions. I look at him and smile.

"About you not coming with us to the Capitol when Peeta goes to recieve his antidote," I reply.

"I know," Haymitch says as he starts laughing. "Peeta already told me. I just wanted to make you uncomfortable." I smile at Haymitch and shake my head.

"I don't think our argument is what set him off though," I say, taking on a more serious tone. "Peeta wasn't acting like himself to begin with. I could tell he was a little temperamental."

"Hopefully he'll calm down soon," Haymitch says. "I put him in one of the bedrooms and told him to stay put. Oh, and I called Paylor while ago and let her know we're coming like Peeta asked me too."

"Thank you," I say as I look up at him.

"No problem," Haymitch says as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Katniss," I hear Peeta softly say. I look up and see him coming out of one of the bedrooms. Both of his eyes are still as black as coal. Haymitch stands up and walks over to him.

"Peeta, I told you to wait in the room," Haymitch says as he walks over to Peeta. Peeta pushes Haymitch out of the way and starts running towards me. I prepare to retreat, but Peeta wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks.

"Yeah," I reply with a nervous tone in my voice. Me head suddenly hits the floor hard and I look up into Peeta's wild eyes.

"You lied!" He yells in my face. "If you're okay, you wouldn't sound so nervous!" Peeta screams as Haymitch pulls him off of me. Peeta starts kicking his feet violently. I start to stand up, but one of Peeta's feet comes into contact with my nose.

I yelp in pain and cover my already-bloody nose with my hand. Haymitch wrestles Peeta back into his room and makes sure he's going to stay before he comes over to check on me.

"Let's get you cleaned up sweetheart," Haymitch says as he helps me up and to the bathroom. He soaks a paper towel with water and hands it to me.

"Thank you," I say as I clean the blood off my face.

"Well, I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same," Haymitch says as he disappears into a room.

When I finish cleaning up, I find an extra bedroom and crawl into bed. I eventually cry myself into a nightmare-riddled sleep.

Without Peeta's strong, loving arms to protect me.