Always

Chapter 24

Katniss P.O.V.

I only get to sleep about four hours before I'm awaken by a nightmare. A nightmare where hijacked Peeta took over and we were too late. A nightmare that I dread may soon be my reality.

I decide that it's useless to try to go back to sleep. I get out of bed and leave the room. I go to Peeta's door and listen. I want to go in, but I'm afraid to. Everything inside his room is silent. What if he's not asleep? What if he's still in hijacked mode and he's waiting for me to come in there? What if this never ends?

I lean backwards against the door and slide down onto the floor. I fold my arms across my knees, hide my face in my arms, and let the tears fall.

"You can go inside you know?" A male voice says. I look up to see Haymitch walking towards me. I shake my head and bury my face again.

"I want to, but I don't know what I'd be walking into," I say as I hold back the tears.

"Katniss, you have to quit this," Haymitch says.

"Quit what?" I ask as I look up.

"Quit crying every time this happens," Haymitch says. If looks could kill, Haymitch would be dead ten times over by now.

"You try this," I say angrily as I stand up. "You try living like this." With every word I say, I take a step closer to Haymitch. "You try living in this day to day uncertainty. Uncertainty of the one you're married to having a flashback. Uncertainty of the love of your life attacking you, knowing that there's nothing either of you can do about it. You try watching them being snapped back to reality and having to deal with the aftermath of the pain that they've unwillingly caused you! You trade places with me for two seconds and see how high and mighty you are after that!"

At this point, Haymitch is backed all the way up against the wall with me in his face, screaming to the top of my lungs.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta softly asks. Peeta! I turn around and see Peeta standing in the doorway of his room. When he sees my tear-stained face, he opens up his arms.

Unhesitatingly, I run over to Peeta and jump up into his arms. He quickly wraps his arms tight around me and lifts me up off of my feet. I pull back to find that his eyes are still different colors. I decide not to dwell on this for right now. I decide to enjoy this moment of peace and love.

The second my feet hit the floor, I realize that there's something I need to do. I turn around in Peeta's embrace to face Haymitch.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm to the point where I'll say what in feeling without thinking how it will affect other people." Haymitch shakes his head.

"It's okay. You made your point," Haymitch replies as he walks back towards his room. I watch him walk off until Peeta turns me back around.

"You should try to go back to sleep," Peeta says. "We still have a while before we reach the Capitol." I nod my head and start walking into Peeta's room. He gently grabs my arm and I turn my head to face him. I already know what he's going to say. "Katniss, I..."

"Peeta, it's okay. I understand," I say as I give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Katniss, it's not that I don't want you to sleep with me. Trust me, I do. Not just because you help with my nightmares, but because I love you. But I don't want to take a chance on hurting you more than I already have. I couldn't live with myself if I cause you anymore pain," Peeta speaks with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, Peeta," I say as I wrap my arms around his neck. "I love you too, and I don't want to sleep without you either. But I know that you're just trying to protect me, and I understand that."