It was already night time when he entered his home, his eyes straight away laying on Haru, who was sitting on the couch. Her head buried in her hands.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
She looked up to intercept his figure, her lips stretched into a wide smile. The smile ignited flames in his heart, her slightly drooping eyes and scrunched nose was very weird but overwhelming till he looked on the table- a bottle of alcohol, almost full and a glass by its side. She had very low alcohol tolerance, so, even a few sips can get her intoxicated.
He gulped as his lips parted, "have you been drinking?"
She gave a single huge nod, a satisfied smile never leaving her face.
"How could you? Have you gone insane? You are pregnant! You didn't even think about our child in your womb?" He growled, angry and helpless.
"Mia said, drinking can make pain disappear. And look, what a thing!" She exclaimed jubilantly picking up the bottle and kissing it's neck, "that's nectar!"
She placed the bottle back and dallied sluggishly towards him, grasping his collar in her grip. He was taken aback by the unforeseen touch, the way her thumb contacted with his neck, the way her breath hit his face, the way she was swaying under the influence of alcohol, her entire being was so enticing to him. He gulped, trying his best not to touch her without consent. He was angry, ofcourse, at her negligence but her painful smile didn't permit him to say anything.
"I love you so much," she blurted out. His heart was beating out of rhythm at the confession and was flabbergasted.
"You... You what?" He asked.
"I love you so much," a tear trickled down her cheeks as her stance faltered making him wrap his arm around her waist to prevent her from falling. His skin burnt like a thousand stars when his hand lingered over her body.
Her grip on his collar went loose and her eyes were bloodshot, brimming with tears. Her facial expression was so full of pain. Her eyes as if demanding answers, her ears wanting to hear it and her lips wishing for love, more of longing for it.
She couldn't handle the eye contact anymore as she snuggled into his chest, her arms wrapped around his torso. He inhaled her mild sweet scent, his one arm still around her waist and one on her head, patting it intermittently.
"It hurts, its so difficult that I can't," she said through his shirt. Her lips quivered and tears were never ending. She clutched onto his shirt, "I want to but I can't. Even when I just want to forget you not only our bad memories, also our positive ones, I want to forget you as a whole but I can't." She cried.
His heart ached at the sentence, he looked towards the ceiling in an attempt to stop his tears from raining down. His arms still embracing her petite frame.
"Each night when I try to lay my back on the bed," she spoke in a guttural voice, "I could hear your voice haunting me so that I just want to get rid of you." She sniffled, "But each day when I am struggling through life, I can hear your voice encouraging me so that I want to cling onto you like no tomorrow." She parted to look at his expression, his eyes were apologizing though he spoke nothing.
"Why?" She questioned, "Why did you have to do it? Why? Everything was so good. You destroyed it all. You ruined it all, we had such a blooming future, you crushed all the buds that were in sight. You crumpled our entire relationship in that one night and you expect me to forgive you and move on? You think life is that simple?" She wailed as she choked back a sob.
He forced her head back into his chest and letting the seething avalanche of her tears to soak his shirt. "I am sorry," he whimpered. "I am so sorry Haru, I love you and I am sorry."
She sniffled, her voice not more than a whisper, "I am still hurting Kook, and I am still lying about it. There is no soft way to say how sometimes I forget to breathe so, I ask what's for dinner instead.
I am still learning how to do simple things, like eat when I am hungry and leave my bed everyday.
I still fall asleep with hope suffocated between my clasped fingers. I am still falling in love with the moon and step around broken pieces thinking that counts as strength.
I am still wishing that the world ends before we do, what should I do? Where should I go?" Her grip became tighter by each flying second.
"I want to hate you but I can't. I love you but I should not. I want to forget everything but I can't. I want... I just want to die."
She gulped her ever beating heart, to pull back. All of a sudden, she tip toed and her lips touched his ever so lightly. His eyes widened, his stomach as if took a flip. He knew that she would regret it later, so, he tried to pull back but she held his head making him kiss her.
He could not resist anymore, his own desires ruling his actions. He kissed her, their kiss was light as feather as both of them let their tears to stream down. The kiss wasn't just euphoric for him. He made concepts and fantasies and promises and laid his entire soul in her altar. He lightly tugged on her lower lip and it was crystal clear in his head that he will always keep her happiness above his.
Her lips stopped moving and her eyes closed, her body was no longer in motion, she passed out in his arms.
He placed one arm around her knees and picked her up swiftly in bridal style. Placing her lightly on the soft bedsheets of the guest room and then covering her in blankets, he wished that she forgets this night.
He stood up to leave, mumbling a little, "I'm sorry."
•••
(A/N: We reached 1K. Thank you so much. I should be happy but the chapter makes my heart ache😭)
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Nine Months
Fanfiction'I will break my own heart and use those pieces to fix yours.' Jeon Jungkook, a k-pop idol from the world renowned band BTS is married to the love of his life, Lee Haru - a professional actress. But it wasn't any normal marriage, for Haru hated him...
